Prayer for our girl... 1st day of pre-K......

[learical1]

Little girl, munching on a snack cake, walks into a barber shop where her father is getting a haircut. 

The barber says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

"I know," she replies, "I'm gonna get boobies, too."

[Tilar]

Little girl, munching on a snack cake, walks into a barber shop where her father is getting a haircut. 

The barber says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

"I know," she replies, "I'm gonna get boobies, too."

 

Well, I do some sub bus driving and it amazes me just how much of a "following" the busses get the first day or two of school. They seem to show up right after a first year preschool or kindergarden child gets on.  

[bull]

Both my daughters did pretty well until 3rd grade. My wife is now calling it the third-grade blues where they get all weepy and homesick and everything is horrible. So the youngest is 8 and just started third grade last Monday and has been begging to be home schooled so I've been giving her pep talks for past two nights. Today I told her she needs to list off 2-3 positive things about her school day when I pick her up about an hour from now. We'll see how that goes...

[chargerboy69]

I herebye call to order this meeting of F.A.D.D. (Fathers Against Daughters Dating)  
Will the Sergeant at Arms please take attendance?

I am here.

My rule is she can date when I turn 86.

I have also considered becoming Amish just so she would have to wear those long dresses, but riding in a buggy in northeast Indiana during the winter looks awfully cold.  

[doctor4766]

Here's an email I got some time ago.
It's called Daddy's rules for dating my daughter

Rule One:  If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me.  You may glance at her so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.  If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. 

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.  Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.  Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. 

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you.  Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.  Please do not do this.  The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.  This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.  Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.  If you make her cry, I will make you cry. 

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.  If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.  My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Sydney Harbor Bridge.  Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? 

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool, places where there is darkness, places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.  Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat.  Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay.  Cricket games are okay...Old folks homes are better. 

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me.  I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.  But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.. 

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid.  It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi . When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.  As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight.  Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside.  The camouflaged face at the window is mine.     

[69_500]

I did the same thing this year Troy with Dakota. Since we were planning on closing on this house we went ahead and enrolled him in a school where we are moving to. I was worried about him switching schools and not knowing anyone or that he wouldn't like it. Couldn't believe how relieved I was when we picked him up from the first day and he said he loved the new school.

[bull]

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.  If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.  My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Sydney Harbor Bridge.  Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? 

I agree with most of those rules but I have a problem with part of #7. No little punk will be touching any of my cars. He can sweep the driveway, pick up dog crap, take out the garbage or any other menial task that requires no skill. But no touching the cars.

[Shakey]

Glad to hear the first day of school went well!

My two girls start after Labour Day.

Kristina (6) starts Grade 1 at her French Immersion school - half the day is taught in English and the other half in French.

Julia (4) starts JK.

[Road Dog]

My son has had a lip lock planted on him, numerous huggs and 2 girls argueing over who is his girlfriend. I'm worrying about these little girls for my son. He's gonna be 4 in a couple of months.

[Highbanked Hauler]

 Troy ya'll will do just fine!!!  Mine are 30 and 31 and both married. The thing I didn't count on was when they got married I thought they were no longer our concern  BUT now concern has expanded to their spouses also.  So now instead of being an empty nest now we added on an emotional space for them.