Potentially deadly situation where my wife works

[bull]

My wife works part time doing in-home care for an elderly woman who has dementia. When she first started working there the woman had her car taken away by her adult children because, for obvious reasons, the dementia had become bad enough to warrent concern. But after a few months of her complaining the kids finally relented and gave her her car back. So now my wife comes home with all these stories about how this woman can barely find her way home in her car after driving only a few miles to get a few groceries or run errans. My wife went with her one day to the grocery store and one of the clerks at the store made a comment about how they wouldn't have to help this woman find here car after shopping that day because she had brought a friend. He said it half-jokingly but when my wife followed up with a question about it the guy said that every time this elderly woman leaves the store she needs help finding her own car. And this is not the Seinfeld parking garage episode; the grocery store parking lot is not that big. Not only that but the woman admits she gets mixed up almost every time she leaves the house. Someday she's not going to make it back.

Anyway, we're considering contacting the police about it because this woman's kids are endangering her and the public by allowing her to drive but it seems as if we're overstepping our boundaries somewhat. For one thing we don't think we should have to enforce something that seems so glaringly obvious and one of the kids says he's concerned that the woman might commit suicide if her car is taken away permanently. I happen to think that's a bit of a stretch but I also happen to think death is imminent if this woman continues to drive. Either she's going to kill herself or someone else or both. At least if she isn't driving she won't kill someone else. So what would you do?

[69bronzeT5]

If she's endangering her life and the public's life like you said she is, I'd call the police and get their opinion on the situation Sounds like it's time for her licence to get taken away! There's been a few major accidents I've heard about involving 70+ year old people with bad vision or whatever their problem is. For example, back in the summer on the major highway leading from Vancouver to the U.S border, an old lady left a gas station and drove the wrong way down the highway offramp before travelling 20kms down the highway the wrong way. She caused 3 accidents before hitting another car head-on. She was killed but the other driver survived. That's that the only case I've heard of this type of thing happening. An old guy last year backed his Dakota into a sushi resturant and injured about 10 people and killed somebody also. Plus the countless old people who have crashed their cars into buildings, ponds, parked cars because they pushed the gas instead of the brake. In the summer an old lady backed her car into a pond in Stanley Park because she pushed the gas instead of the brake.

[Blown70]

Please, do, My gradfather almost ran over a 10 year old kid in the road, just was not paying attension, and I truely dont think he knew he was driving.... SERIOUSLY..... After that they did take his LIC, and then took all of his keys away from him.. He was upset but, eventually become ok with it. He started with Demitia, and led to severe with Alz....

I have to say from personal expericence this will get worse, that is only one of the situations he got into that I posted above,  I could go on and on, lets say thankfully not ONE was ever injured from him..

Tom

[TruckDriver]

Let the police know before someone like a child gets killed. Cause now that you know you can do something about it, and if you don't, and someone dies, you will always regret it.

[last426]

Leave the dangnabit police out of this thing.  The thing to do, at least here in California, is to drop the dime on her with the DMV or APS but never the police.  Police are not your friends, let's all say it together, police are not our friends, police are not our friends, etc.  Kim

[Silver R/T]

Seniors are just as dangerous on the road as teenage drivers

[69bronzeT5]

Seniors are just as dangerous on the road as teenage drivers

I'm a very good driver thank you very much!

[NHCharger]

Either way you will end up the bad guy.
A friend had her grandmother put in a nursing home, every morning she came downstairs and said "hello my name is Annie, who are you?" Her father insisted Annie was still fit to drive a car and sued my friend (his own daughter) for doing the right thing. If you say nothing and she ends up killing a small child your wife will get the blame for not doing enough, especially if she is the care giver. And I can guarantee her children will suddenly be singing a different tune to cover their ass and try to place the blame solely on your wife.
I would definitely report this to the proper agency, if for nothing else to cover your own backside.

[b5blue]

Living here in St Pete FL. as I do many times a year there are situations where elderly impaired citizens get into trouble (even without a car) that ends in there death or someone elses. We had one poor lady drive into a pond, they had searched for her for days before 2 guys fishing noticed a roof under the murky water. I think your wife must approach her children and relay all the info she has got (like send them with her to the stores she goes to get the testimony of others.)   

[mikepmcs]

Get her off the road, period!

If she kills herself, it has nothing to do with you. If she kills somebody else, you will feel responsible in some fashion, the rest of your life. 

[tan top]

Get her off the road, period!

If she kills herself, it has nothing to do with you. If she kills somebody else, you will feel responsible in some fashion, the rest of your life. 

     .....   yep should not be driving

[derailed]

The family of this woman needs to be convinced she is not safe to be on the road and the keys must be taken away. The police will not do anything about her until an accident has already happened and then it may be to late.

[KS71owner]

As the caregiver, she is better qualified than anyone to make a judgment call about this woman's ability. If she's having that much trouble, she should definitely not be behind the wheel. It's simply not worth the risk to the public's safety to do nothing.

[Mr.Woolery]

If she can't remember where she parked her car after half an hour, or can't find her way back home when she's only blocks away, I doubt it'll take long for her to forget that she ever had a car once it's taken away permanently.

If a compromise must be made...give her a golf cart.

[jb666]

I agree that someone MUST be told about this, for her safety and everyone else on the road..

My last 3 grandparents had Alzheimer's , and passed away over the last 2 years.. The dementia portion of the disease was tough.. I'd have to go by my Grandmother's house every morning on my way to work to help her into the van , where she'd go off to the "home" for a day of activity.. that last about 3 weeks until she wised up and realized why I was stopping by...  She was a kind gentle woman that would never hurt a soul.. The disease changed her. She became angry and (almost) violent before regressing so bad she was like a 4 year old

Such a sad thing, and so often the families of these people are in denial.. That does not help the matter AT ALL. Do what ever it takes, you might actually be saving a life 

[89MOPAR]

  1]  do not let your wife drive in the car with her !   What happens if the old lady runs a red light and the car gets T-boned on your wifes side ?
  2]  Drive your wife over there for the days work, maybe a Sat/ Sun, she gets the keys under some pretense, distracts old lady, you disable car somehow [ pull ignition coil wires, etc], then throw keys on her roof.

[squeakfinder]

 
Sorry I'm Late.


My wife does the exact same type of work. She told me that elderly people get into accidents all the time such as hit and run, they forget witch is the brake or gas, tend to put it in drive instead of reverse and go through store front's, tend to drive entirely to slow, go threw red lights. There was an elderly woman in either Washington or Oregon about a year ago that got lost and and died of hypothermia on a mountain pass.
My wife has made anonymous phone calls to the police on the elderly that shouldn't be driving and said she'd gladly do it again. The police will then contact the children. The best way is to give the police the licence plate number and make of the car, not the woman's name. That way it'll sound like somebody that doesn't know her made the call. Witch will get your wife off the hook with being at odds with her kids.

           Larry

[Landonsrt]

The only worry I have about you going to the police is the family thinking she overstepped her bounds and getting in trouble for her job.

I was in macon, ga a few years ago going north on i75 and looked over in the southbound lane and saw an elderly couple coming off the exit ramp going north!  From what I gather, they were trying to get to the cracker barrell.  I hope they were ok.

[squeakfinder]

The only worry I have about you going to the police is the family thinking she overstepped her bounds and getting in trouble for her job.

I was in macon, ga a few years ago going north on i75 and looked over in the southbound lane and saw an elderly couple coming off the exit ramp going north!  From what I gather, they were trying to get to the cracker barrell.  I hope they were ok.

I wonder, if I'm on his ignore list.

Would you read the post just before yours please......

[teamroth]

One thing that first comes to mind:
Is someone really going to kill themselves because they can't drive anymore?

That is one of the most ridiculous statements I have ever heard. They just don't want to hear her bitching about it.
Her kids need to nut-up and take her keys/car. I would hope my kids do it for me, no matter how much I bitch about killing myself.

[bull]

One thing that first comes to mind:
Is someone really going to kill themselves because they can't drive anymore?

That is one of the most ridiculous statements I have ever heard. They just don't want to hear her bitching about it.
Her kids need to nut-up and take her keys/car. I would hope my kids do it for me, no matter how much I bitch about killing myself.

I agree. I also think it's a bunch of paranoid BS. And I know this sounds bad but if I had to choose I'd much rather have one death than several.

[FLG]

One thing that first comes to mind:
Is someone really going to kill themselves because they can't drive anymore?

That is one of the most ridiculous statements I have ever heard. They just don't want to hear her bitching about it.
Her kids need to nut-up and take her keys/car. I would hope my kids do it for me, no matter how much I bitch about killing myself.

I agree. I also think it's a bunch of paranoid BS. And I know this sounds bad but if I had to choose I'd much rather have one death than several.

Id consider that the sweetest thing ive heard you say Bull   

[Landonsrt]

The only worry I have about you going to the police is the family thinking she overstepped her bounds and getting in trouble for her job.

I was in macon, ga a few years ago going north on i75 and looked over in the southbound lane and saw an elderly couple coming off the exit ramp going north!  From what I gather, they were trying to get to the cracker barrell.  I hope they were ok.

I wonder, if I'm on his ignore list.

Would you read the post just before yours please......

Yeah, I READ YOURS! Odds with the kids, police, REAL DEEP!!!!! Comments like that, you will be!

I was speaking on that part of the family BITCHING at the company she might work for and firing her! Not just being at ODDS with the family!!

[bull]

One thing that first comes to mind:
Is someone really going to kill themselves because they can't drive anymore?

That is one of the most ridiculous statements I have ever heard. They just don't want to hear her bitching about it.
Her kids need to nut-up and take her keys/car. I would hope my kids do it for me, no matter how much I bitch about killing myself.

I agree. I also think it's a bunch of paranoid BS. And I know this sounds bad but if I had to choose I'd much rather have one death than several.

Id consider that the sweetest thing ive heard you say Bull   

Thanks. I try to show my kinder/gentler side once in a while.

[squeakfinder]

The only worry I have about you going to the police is the family thinking she overstepped her bounds and getting in trouble for her job.

I was in macon, ga a few years ago going north on i75 and looked over in the southbound lane and saw an elderly couple coming off the exit ramp going north!  From what I gather, they were trying to get to the cracker barrell.  I hope they were ok.

I wonder, if I'm on his ignore list.

Would you read the post just before yours please......

Yeah, I READ YOURS! Odds with the kids, police, REAL DEEP!!!!! Comments like that, you will be!

I was speaking on that part of the family BITCHING at the company she might work for and firing her! Not just being at ODDS with the family!!

The whole point of the anonymous phone call.  Nobody knows who made it.