Why get married?

[RAWPWR]

woohoo it's 14 degrees here in Ma

[Dans 68]

Leaving the religious side of it out (and I guess we had better... ) if you love her marry her, sooner than later. It is a commitment that you both make to each other. It is a bond that simply does not exist if you simply live together. Ideally you have common interests, goals, desires...these go a loong way to helping you in the difficult patches you will encounter in a good marriage. Kids are another part of the equation, of course, but it is not as much of a stigma as it used to be. Once you have a couple (heed PocketThunder's warning  ) you will never be the same, nor will you want to be. That is just the way life is.

I really hoped this helped. I Married young, was dumb, got divorced. Met a great lady, dated her way too long, and am married to her now. I should have stopped dating her a lot earlier and married her quick. Sometimes I still may act dumb, but not by marrying her. 

Dan

Oh, and go walk the dog. 

[Steve P.]

Engaged in 2 weeks. Married in less than 1 year and now we have been together for more than 24 years.


Only one thing I can tell you.     NOBODY CAN TELL YOU.......   


Good luck and here's one to get you started...     

[ACUDANUT]

Just sell all your stuff. Give her half, and go get drunk.

[69rtse4spd]

If you believe you have found your sole mate, then you have (I have, been together since 81, married for 21.5 years)  but remember, if you buy for the car, then you must buy for her or the house.

[ACUDANUT]

 If you buy something for your car, HIDE IT.  Or use CASH 

[skyhawk61]

If you feel that your life will be substantially less fulfilling without her in it, then go ahead. Some folks feel a need to express a legal commitment to bind their relationship; if both of you feel you need this, then go ahead. If you're old enough to have been through a few relationships that didn't make it, and you don't see (seriously, really... look!!) any of the previous warning signs with her, then go ahead. If both of you feel much the same way about money, children (if, when, and how many) leisure time, Chargers, religion,and like (or at least can put up with) each other's families, then go ahead. If the idea of coming home to her every evening for the next fifty or so years puts a silly grin on your face, then go ahead. If you think you can stand the sight of her after she's had the flu for two days, and has christened every toilet bowl and trash can in the house (missing a few in the process, leaving you to clean up), then go ahead. A very wise man, my father, told me forty years ago that you don't marry a woman you can live with, you marry a woman you can't live without. The rest, he said, usually works itself out, one way or the other.
Good luck!!

[RallyeMike]

I can think of no reason other than:  Joint parenting rights; joint adoption; joint foster care, custody, and visitation (including non-biological parents); status as next-of-kin for hospital visits and medical decisions where one partner is too ill to be competent; joint insurance policies for home, auto and health; dissolution and divorce protections such as community property and child support; immigration and residency for partners from other countries; inheritance automatically in the absence of a will; joint leases with automatic renewal rights in the event one partner dies or leaves the house or apartment; inheritance of jointly-owned real and personal property through the right of survivorship (which avoids the time and expense and taxes in probate); benefits such as annuities, pension plans, Social Security, and Medicare; spousal exemptions to property tax increases upon the death of one partner who is a co-owner of the home; veterans' discounts on medical care, education, and home loans; joint filing of tax returns; joint filing of customs claims when traveling; wrongful death benefits for a surviving partner and children; bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child; decision-making power with respect to whether a deceased partner will be cremated or not and where to bury him or her; crime victims' recovery benefits; loss of consortium tort benefits; domestic violence protection orders; and judicial protections and evidentiary immunity (immunity from having to testifying against each other - my favorite  )

I think you can also have sex without going to hell, but I'm not an expert on these matters.

[Khyron]

I think you can also have sex without going to hell, but I'm not an expert on these matters.

If you wanted sex Then dont get married.

[dkn1997]

Scientists have found a food that, when fed to women, takes away all sex drive and causes them to gain 50 lbs in the next year after consumption...it's called wedding cake. 

I'm old fashioned, so my vote is that if you want kids, then tie the knot. just my opinion and it's not like I have an problem with people who don't get married and have kids, just how I'd prefer it for myself.

Do yourself a favor though.  Take some time for yourself before you ask.  use the time to think about her.  watch her next time you are out together or home together.  How does she treat people?  Is she happy all of the time or do you have to cheer her up? (gets old eventually)  is she nice to people that she doesn't necessarily have to be nice to? (we are all nice to our boss, but is she nice to the checkout clerk at the grocery store?)  Try to imagine her older, like mid 50's.  putting aside looks, what do you think she'd be like.  The first few years will fly by and you will barely remember them, but later on you will wake up one day and ask "what have I got here?"  if you think the answer will be "I'm still the luckiest guy on the face of the earth" then go for it.

[skip68]

   I think Khyron and I married the same women.   

[Steve P.]

what are you saying, Chuck??   

[chargerkid01]

OR you all need to find a woman who is understanding like mine. When I want something for my car I don't have to ask. The only thing she asks is fi all my bills are paid first!!!

[RECHRGD]

I've been married 38 years.  If you've got the right women, it's the only way to go.  When I was young, the thought of having kids out of wedlock was considered a sin and brought shame to you and your family.  Today, it seems to be celebrated.   Playing house without that little piece of paper makes it way too easy to walk away from a relationship during a rocky period.  I know of a young gal around here that started doing the live in boyfriend thing in her teens and immediately started popping out babies.  Those kids now have a home with no father (4 kids from 2 different fathers) and a mother with no education stuck in a minimum wage job.  No child support from the deadbeat Dads and little hope that the kids won't go down the same path.  Every situation is different, but to me, a committed relationship, especially involving kids should have a marriage certificate attached to it.  If your not sure about your love for eachother, hold off, but don't just start playing house on a trial basis.  Just my    Bob

[TeeWJay426]

  I think Khyron and I married the same women.   

Wow Skip... since Mrs. Skip comes on here also, you must like living dangerously, eh?

Marriage is one of those things that everyone should try...... once........ 

[moparstuart]

I've been married 38 years.  If you've got the right women, it's the only way to go.  When I was young, the thought of having kids out of wedlock was considered a sin and brought shame to you and your family.  Today, it seems to be celebrated.   Playing house without that little piece of paper makes it way too easy to walk away from a relationship during a rocky period.  I know of a young gal around here that started doing the live in boyfriend thing in her teens and immediately started popping out babies.  Those kids now have a home with no father (4 kids from 2 different fathers) and a mother with no education stuck in a minimum wage job.  No child support from the deadbeat Dads and little hope that the kids won't go down the same path.  Every situation is different, but to me, a committed relationship, especially involving kids should have a marriage certificate attached to it.  If your not sure about your love for eachother, hold off, but don't just start playing house on a trial basis.  Just my    Bob

[Mike DC]

The incentive for marriage is mostly about kids. 

WHen you're single, it's just so easy to walk away rather than stick it out when things get rough between you & her.  It doesn't always work out badly for kids but the odds are a lot higher.


---------------------------------------


The incentive against marriage is mostly financial for men.  You're not getting any richer, but you ARE opening yourself up to get severely bent over if you break up with the woman later. 

It's like fighting an insurance company - even if you're RIGHT, she can still make you go broke trying to defend what's yours.

[BigBlockSam]

Only 1 reason to get married to me and that is.... You want children and feel compelled to start a family.  Cannot grasp the concept myself, absolutely no reason for it to me personally, except stated.  Everything else can be done without getting married including having children technically, but that wouldn't be fair to the kid IMO.  If you tie the knot, then split up, someone's gonna get the others stuff and it's just a headache all around.  If their are kids involved then it's even worse.  Why not just be together but live in separate houses(no cohab law this way as far as I know) and have fun and all that romantic stuff but still have your own houses and a place to retreat to when you are all done playing together.  I mean really think about it, what advantage(not talking financially) do you have getting married.  It's a huge stressful expense to begin with and it doesn't get any cheaper during or after the marriage is dissolved.  No reason for it.  Most people get married because they think that they have to or it's the right thing to do, and that's the first sign of doom right there. Twocents

the man makes a lot of sense .

when your with someone for a long time , people change , 5 yrs after you get married you will both be different people,  just think where you where 5 yrs ago . hopefully you grow together and not a part .

plus there always there!




i like that idea of changing girls every 5 years . definitely would keep life more intresting

[Silver R/T]

If you meet right girl there's no reason to not to get married, period.

[Tilar]

When everything is going good in a marriage, you wouldn't take a million bucks for it. When it goes sour it's not worth a plug nickel.

I've been married 3 times. As it stands right now, if I ever get stupid enough to get married again, I hope I have the common sense to just go up to some strange woman and offer to buy her a house if she'll sleep with me for a week. 

[ACUDANUT]

I think you can also have sex without going to hell, but I'm not an expert on these matters.

If you wanted sex Then dont get married.

Dang, That's funny.

[The70RT]

It looks like everyones covered everything here. If this thread didn't sway you off one way or the other go for it. You haven't posted on this thread for awhile so I hope everything is alright and she already rules and banned you from the site    I seen all terms of marrage myself. I seen some last a year and some 42 as my mother and fathers and ours as ...well (29). We just went on a 10 day vacation with each other and she told me it was the best time she ever had  One day was at the Skips if that had anything to do with it  ..... She pretty much runs the household, like making sure all the bills get paid, appointments, taxes and what ever since she is a legal secretary anyway. She is also the executor of my brother that is no capable of doing so. My clothes are always clean and good to go. I pretty much work on cars when I want to. I did restore here car before mine so that helps. It doesn't hurt to have her be as much of a car nut as you are. One tip is always stash as much money back as you can and don't tell her about it. If you bail you will be ok  I started spending mine on cars after a few years but always kept the secret stash. Of course she knows now but she doesn't have access to it and doesn't ever know how much we have (I have  ). If you want kids get it over early because then you only have to baby sit grand kids. Oh yeah I don't remember why I got married except her mother was into classics cars and my wife liked rods and such like I do. (Her father died when a car fell on him before I met her) I lived 1/2 a block away and she always waved or gave me a thumbs up when I went by....then she started blowing kisses.....anyway It has all worked out and we have some great sons. I have had my Charger longer than we have been together so if it wasn't for her who knows? I probably would have went out with the boys more and tore it up and wouldn't have it now.

[mikepmcs]

I lived 1/2 a block away and she always waved or gave me a thumbs up when I went by....then she started blowing kisses.....

Pretty cool! 

So I gotta tell ya'll this one.  I get an email from my older sister tonight(we don't talk ever) Anyway my sister gets a message from someone asking if she has a brother named Mike who this person hung out with in HS.  I only hung out with 2 people in school the whole time.  A girl named Stephanie and my buddy Tony, that's it. So guess who, yup, Steph back from the abyss to try and contact me.  Long story, she wanted to go out with me in high school and I said no, we didn't talk much after that,  she got married, divorced after 14 years(no kids)  contacted me about 3-4 years ago.  We emailed a few times and lost contact again.  She thought the reason I didn't want to go out with her in HS was because I was a turd burglar, it took me forever to convince her otherwise. Literally 20 years to convince her that it was just not meant to be and I did like girls just not her . So, now this, what the heck does she want.  Probably dumped another guy or they dumped her and now she's feeling nostalgic or something like that.   I don't know but I think I'll get her email address and string her along for a while just to make myself feel superior. 
That was a joke people, a joke!  Anyways, I thought the timing was perfect for this thread, I mean this girl has it in her head that I was the one that got away, well let me tell you, I'm no prize, no prize at all.

[500hp_440]

I have freinds that will tell you every reason not to get hitched and a few that will do the opposite, just pre-nop so you both keep your money and stuff, and land, then theres nothing to fear! That is except fear itself.
Good luck either way, but if you want to make a women out of her, well a women with kids then get married!

[ACUDANUT]

  I believe in married couples who "both" raise a family and put their children first.