This hasn't been a good year so far.

[Charger_Fan]

I'm not sure where to start with this, or even what to say...other than the last 11 days have been hell. Even though I don't know most of you personally, I feel as though I do know some of you a little through the threads we've shared in the years past.
I logged on yesterday for the first time since this happened, but couldn't do it...I couldn't be cheery & had to go, I'm trying again today. I'm not necessarily fishing for sympathy by posting this, I just want to talk a little...hope you don't mind.

I became Grandpa to a little boy on 1/19/07...he passed away on 3/11/08. It was not from natural causes.

His mother & father are young and unmarried. After a year or so, she decided to move in with a couple friends, for reasons that I'm not going into here. One of the friends was a guy who worked at the same place she did...we didn't know much about this guy at the time.
At 6:45 am on the 11th, my son received a frantic phone call...she said Austin wasn't breathing! He yelled at her to call 911 & ran out the door, with the cell phone on his ear.

This is what happened next... 
http://www.sltrib.com//ci_8561013
http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/259691

I have felt emotions in the past 10 days I never knew existed within me...by the same token, I have witnessed emotions in others I never knew existed within them. The past few days for me have been surreal, humbling, angering, devastating & ultimately filled with sadness.
The amount of help & support from friends & family during this time has been truely amazing & humbling. At least 60 people were there the day we laid Austin to rest, many of whom I had only met a few days before.

I awoke in tears from a dream the other night, where I could actually hear his voice playing in my head...just as clear as I can hear my own right now.
The amount of love & joy this little guy brought into our lives during his short stay is truely wonderful. I'm sad that I had taken a lot of it for granted while he was here, but now I truely cherish the time I was able to spend with him. It's hard to believe he's really gone.
We love you, little Austin.

(he's about 8 months old here)



(bad pic I took last November, while sitting at the computer.)

[70charginglizard]

I wish I could express the unbelievable sadness I feel for you and your family. What a terrible thing for anyone to have to go thru.
The grief you must all be experiencing....

All I can say is  I hope you all can get thru this ok.

my sincerest sympathy to you and yours.

[69bronzeT5]

Wow Grant, thats really sad.

I feel for ya. When I was younger, my mom had a baby boy a few years after I was born but he passed away soon after he was born due to some kind of problem. I dont know what was wrong with him because I was young when it happened.

I hope things get better for you man.


-Cody

[Blown70]

WOW,  sorry I can believe there would be a LOT of different emotions going on.

I could not imagine what you are going through.

Tom

[Brock Samson]

I'll say a prayer for all concerned, right now i am pretty much speechless...

[694spdRT]

I truly do not know what to say. To have a little one that is so innocent taken away in such a senseless act is beyond comprehension.

Grant, my thoughts and sympathy are with you and your family in this very difficult time.

Ty

[Arthu®]

Hang in there, my sympathy is with all whom are involved, other than that I'm at a loss of words...

Arthur

[6pkrunner]

I cannot possibly feel what you are going through.  Hang tight. Time does ease the pain.

[TruckDriver]

Geez Grant, I'm so sorry. I got tears in my eyes from reading this. I been with you for over 5 years posting on these boards, and I consider you as a friend. Your posts have always made me laugh as you are a lot like me in a lot of ways. And as a father of two younger boys, I truely feel for you. Being that I know from experiance, that my ex-wife is someone who could snap at any time, I worry about this happening to my 8yo., because he lives with her even though he doesn't want to. Like all of us, I'm here for you buddy. My thoughts are with you and your family

I'm not religious, but for you, I will post this thread on my forum too as right now, the more moral support and prayers, the better. You know where to find me if you need me to talk.

[Khyron]

As a father I also am at a loss of words. I'm extremely sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you.

[Skued]

Grant, I am so terribly sorry for your lose.  I knows this is a very difficult time for you.  Please know that you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts. Steve

[dukeboy_318]

im so sorry to hear that man, my best wishes go out to you and your family in this hard time

[Drache]

there is nothing I can type here to truly express the emotions and sorrow I feel. I count everyone on these forums as a friend no matter how some have treated me and to hear this on these forums... it feels close, as if a long term friend was telling me about their own grandson. Sorry if this doesn't make much sense, I don't know how to properly put it into words and thus type out.

[Lowprofile]

Grant, My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your family. I can only imagine the pain, loss and anguish you and your love ones are feeling at this time. I hope with time, and the love of family and friends, you can find some peace my friend.

You are all in my families prayers....

Chuck

[RD]

grant, i am in absolute tears... I have a son who turned just 1 y/o yesterday.  I am so so sorry you have to go through this.... man if you need to talk or anything, i mean that anything... just call me 620-757-1284.

your friend,
Jamey

[Charger_Fan]

Thanks to all of you for your friendship & support, you guys are so great! As I've said in some of my PM replies, I just couldn't log on today & act like nothing's happened, I had to tell you guys. Letting the story out & reading your heartfelt responses may help a little, I truely appreciate all of you.

You're right Pete, more moral support & prayers certainly can't hurt. My family & I definitely have had a massive abundance of both directed our way during this time, something we're not used to receiving...we're usually we're on the other end of the deal, ya know? It's a bit overwhelming to have it directed our way, but gratefully accepted nontheless.

Thank you all so much!

[mikesbbody]

what can one say? we all feel for you so much losing a beautiful child like that none of us can truely know what you are going through.
I do believe you are doing the right thing by talking to us all i can say is our thoughts are prayers are with you. take care

[TK73]

I'm at a loss for words...

[71ChallengeHer]

My prayers are with you and your family.   

[41husk]

My familys prayers are with your family as well.  What a sinceless loss!!

[uud looz]

Everyone searches for the words that will ease your pain,but I'm afraid there are none to be found. It is also said that time heals all wounds, but this too I'm afraid is not completely accurate, sure in time you will find yourself thinking about it less and less, but the sorrow never quite leaves it just seems to relocate to the back of your mind. In time you will find yourself focusing more on the joy and laughter that little one brought to your life and you will be able to smile again. Though the time that you were granted was all too short, find solice in the fact that there are those who aren't even that blessed. I am truly sorry for your loss my prayers are with you and your family.  I often find comfort in this old Irish poem

The little star that cheered our home
Has set in death's dark gloom
The sweet wee flower that graced our path
Lies mouldering in the tomb
The angels saw the opening flower
And swift with joy and love
They bore him to a fairer home
To bloom in fields above

[hemihead]

My prayers go out to you and your family .

[rav440]

im sorry for your loss .

[RECHRGD]

I am so sorry for you and your's.  What a tragedy of innocence lost.  I cannot imagine how I would deal with the loss of one of my grandkids, especially under these circumstances.  I read almost the same story in todays Spokane paper.  Another loser boyfriend shook an infant to death because he was crying while Mom was at work.  Our society is just going down the toilet.  Prayers coming your way.    Bob

[TUFCAT]

As I read this.... I didn't know what to say.  Saying nothing (and ignoring my feelings)  would be far worse than sharing the significant impact this had on me.  I can only imagine how you feel.

First of all, let me say that it takes tremendous courage to post a story like this in a public forum when a loved one is involved....and for this, we should honor CHARGER FAN for posting.  Take a moment for a very special prayer,  and thank God for the gift of children in our lives.   

Secondly,  without saying to much on the subject of religion, let's just say there's a special awful place in Hell for those who abuse children and animals.  Whatever the legal system will offer this despicable human, it will be a far better punishment than what he will receive on judgement day - and leave it at that.

Lastly, and without be very emotional, I hope the memories and wonderful goodness this child has brought into so many people's lives is enough to sustain the anger and loss you will feel for many years.  No apologies can ever change this awful event. However, knowing that many of your friends at DodgeCharger.com are also sharing your sorrows.... should help you in the heeling process.

God Bless Baby Austin,

TUFCAT