Deer Roping

[Chris]

This is Funny......

   I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
feed 

it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The
first   

step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they


congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of
me   

when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff
at   

the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away)


that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a
bag 

over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and


transport it home.





I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The


cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They


were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up -
3   

of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end
of   

the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at


me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would


have a good hold.  The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you


could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I
took

a step towards it....it took a step away. I put a little tension on
the   

rope and received an education.





The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand
there 

looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
when   

you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.





The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT


stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I


could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance.
That   

thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling
it 

and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and


started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a


deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally
imagined.   

The only up side is that they do not have as much


stamina as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and
not   

nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to
get

up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly
blinded 

by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.





At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted
to 

get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured


if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would


likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no
love   

at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and
I 

would venture


a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and
the 

several large


knots where I had cleverly arrested the


deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it


dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to


recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount
of

responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the


deer to have to suffer a slow death. I managed to get it lined up to
back

in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set


beforehand - Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there
and 

started moving up so I could get my rope back.





Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would


have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised
when

I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my


wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse


where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes
its

head - almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper


thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and


draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was


ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for


several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being
smarter

than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked
it.

While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I
reached   

up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.





That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer


will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their


back feet and strike right about head


and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned
a 

long time ago that when an animal like a horse strikes at


you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to
do

is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the


animal. This will usually cause them to


back down a bit so you can escape. This was


not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously


such trickery would not work. In the course


of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like
woman   

and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to
try   

to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good


chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be
so   

different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and
three

times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in
the

back of the head and knocked me down.





Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not
immediately   

leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed.


What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you
while   

you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I 

finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.





Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split
open, 

I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good


and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back
was 

bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had


protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest
place, 

which was the


co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood


and dust and looking like hell. The guy who ran the place saw me
through 

the window and came running out yelling, "What happened?"


I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit
an   

individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that
they   

have overlooked entirely. Knowing,


as I do, the lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to


exercise their power, I was concerned that they may find a way to
twist   

the existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I swear...not
wanting

to admit that I had done something monumentally stupid played no part
in 

my response. I told him, "I was


attacked by a deer." I did not mention that at the time I had a rope
on   

it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my


jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my
face

where it had struck me there. I asked him to call somebody to come get


me. I didn't think I could make it home on my own.


Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted
to   

know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare
thing   

and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to
describe   

the attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was filling the


grain hopper and this deer came


out of nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me.
It

was obviously rabid or insane or something.





EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the


co-op has a big mouth).  For several weeks, people dragged their kids
in 

the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried


rifles when they filled their feeders.  I have told several people the


story, but NEVER anybody around here.   I have to see these people
every 

day and as an outsider - a "city folk" -  I have enough trouble
fitting   

in without them snickering behind my back and whispering "there is the


dumb-*** that tried to rope the deer."

[Brian in GA]

That could very well be the greatest story I've ever heard.  I don't blame you, I wouldn't tell anybody I roped it either.   

[The70RT]

And your frigging kidding right................. ................... 

[mikes_classics_68]

<--------is still waiting for the punchline lol        nah but that was a good story, my family are all hunters and they know dear can be dangerous

[mally69]

at least it didnt stomple in your charger 

[253862656971]

I have tried roping deer as well.  That story is accurate.  Though I was smart enough to use a pickup with the rope tied to it and have a knife with me to cut the rope when the deer went bezerk.

[moparguy01]

wow. Thats all i can say is wow.

reminds me of a buffalo attack years back, where a tourist wanted a picture of a buffalo but the buffalo kept turning its head. so he goes up and smacks it across the face. i was told the reaction is much similar to that of this said deer. but the tourist didnt survive.

[Arigmaster]

That could very well be the greatest story I've ever heard.  I don't blame you, I wouldn't tell anybody I roped it either.   

Now thats Funny!!!! 

My favorite part was:

I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground.