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Some Helpful Tips

Started by Old Moparz, November 06, 2006, 04:37:32 PM

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Old Moparz

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8.Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
   In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape.
   If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40.
   If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
               Bob               



              Going Nowhere In A Hurry

Charger_Fan

Quote3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.
I already use the shower...but that sink Idea's a good one. :scratchchin:

The Aquamax...yes, this bike spent 2 nights underwater one weekend. (Not my doing), but it gained the name, and has since become pseudo-famous. :)

Mean 318