Chargers and divorce.

[lloyd3]

My personal life is a trainwreck these days.  My extended illness with Lyme's Disease did some possibly irreparable damage to my now 33-year old marriage.  I'm now at month 4 in trying to save it but.....it's not going as well as I would have hoped.  What should I expect if my world comes apart? 

[JB400]

Don't give up hope.  I know it's hard, but stay strong, stay positive

[RECHRGD]

There's nothing positive to say here.  Just be sure that you get a good lawyer.......

[Kern Dog]

Sell the car to a trusted friend and hope that she does not stumble upon your receipts or an accurate market value of the car.

[tan top]

Sell the car to a trusted friend and hope that she does not stumble upon your receipts or an accurate market value of the car.

what KD said

[alfaitalia]

Sell the car to a trusted friend and hope that she does not stumble upon your receipts or an accurate market value of the car.

Unless divorce lawyers (and divorce rules) are very different over there I don't think even the dimmest one would fall for that!!

[Todd Wilson]

Depends on your state and how much of a bitch she wants to be........my life and marriage has been screwed up for 3 years now and I checked with different lawyers. In my state (Kansas) they are concerned with the value $ of the marriage and that's it. What I found out and it could be different in your state was any vehicle I bought when I was single is mine. I had bought my 71 Charger in the 80's and she couldn't touch it. Also my 1995 Dodge Ram. I bought the house we live in now when I was single and she could get half of it. We lived together for several years before we got married. Stuff bought then could under a common law marriage situation as half hers. Anything bought after we were married she is entitled to half. Lawyers I talked to said Kansas generally didn't show much concern about vehicles so if she didn't pitch a fit I could walk away with all my vehicles. If not appraisals would have to be had and then each vehicle sold and half given to her. Daily vehicles usually were left alone but if things got shitty could come down to half on those too. She get half of your 401k and retirements. Half the house profit if you own it/ Half of any other properties..........half half half!!! You may be able to wheel and deal and maybe give her all the house and keep the charger or what ever..............I decided to sell my 1969 Dodge Charger while we were still married so she didn't get half..............that money has since disappeared.........


Todd

[Stevearino]

Not having the issue myself but here in North Carolina they don't want to hear anything about who did what to whom . If you split she gets half of everything no questions asked.

[DAY CLONA]

My personal life is a trainwreck these days.  My extended illness with Lyme's Disease did some possibly irreparable damage to my now 33-year old marriage.  I'm now at month 4 in trying to save it but.....it's not going as well as I would have hoped.  What should I expect if my world comes apart? 

I hate to say it, but your illness wasn't the cause of your marriage woes, just the excuse your spouse needed, women are "planners", she was just waiting for the "right time", and it sucks I know, I've been there, done this...

No need to get into any details, that's your private life, but IMHO if your headed for divorce, your spouse is no longer your "friend"... divorce has a way of bringing out the nasty in people, on both sides... best to remain as civil as possible, any confrontations/arguments will bite you in the ass later, the court systems are geared for the women, so you need to be proactive now, the comments of "selling your car off to a friend" to hide your asset only to secretly retrieve it later, won't fly with a judge/lawyer/court, they've seen this all to often, and in fact using tactics like this will only hurt you even more when a judge/lawyer and your spouse divide your lives and assets...

It's best to find out exactly what she really wants to leave, fights/arguments/threats will only leave her to resort to wanting the things that can/will hurt you more emotionally more than financially (this is the way women really think), I found it best to pretend to be her "friend" with her interests at heart, all the while guarding my child, home, accounts, 401K, assets, etc from being attacked by hurtful demands... you can do this long before any shyster lawyers are involved, no need for lawyers either if both sides agree to an amicable division of their lives assets, the judge can be another problem altogether if he/she is biased, or feels the agreement favors one party more than the other, but even the judge can be challenged in their decision, as long as your armed with the legal facts/terms/laws in written form...

FYI, my wife decided after 20 yrs she needed to be with a "Mr Romantic", yeah it hurt, but it was better to cut her loose for my emotional and physical/financial well being than to try and deal/live with the aftermath of a broken/repaired marriage, I represented myself Pro Se, as well as her in court (judge didn't like it, but was powerless to deny it) I retained full custody of my daughter, the home we purchased, my 401K, and all my toys.... she walked away from all debt incurred free and clear (which was my selling point to the judge), a new vehicle, and the clothes on her back free to live happily ever after with "Mr Romantic"... Trust me I didn't have a lenient Judge either, he threaten me with alimony, house sale, 401 K division, etc, etc, but I stood my grounds and "threatened" him I'd just have the case dismissed and moved to another court/judge if the agreement wasn't accepted by the court, I saw many guys represented by lawyers utterly destroyed financially in court by the judge, even when the other spouse was in the wrong, and openly protested the judges final decision, don't be one of those guys! stand your ground on that day

best of luck
Mike    

[Mopar Nut]

Get a women lawyer, not Hillary though...

[Challenger340]

My understanding is anything acquired during the marriage, is divisible upon dissolution of the marriage ?  Unless you can prove the Charger was yours before your marriage ? it is an asset the value thereof to be divided.

[Lennard]

After all the misery is over... be smart and never marry again.  
You'll just give another chick a free pass to legally rob you.

[Kern Dog]

I'm not sure that I want to know the answer but.....
To the lifelong bachelors, anti-marriage types, etc: What do you do about your sexual urges? Jerk off all the time ? Search for prostitutes?
Buy a $5000 sex doll ? 
I have had some time between women but not years and years. Wouldn't you forget what a woman feels like after awhile?

[Todd Wilson]

I'm not sure that I want to know the answer but.....
To the lifelong bachelors, anti-marriage types, etc: What do you do about your sexual urges? Jerk off all the time ? Search for prostitutes?
Buy a $5000 sex doll ? 
I have had some time between women but not years and years. Wouldn't you forget what a woman feels like after awhile?

If I could do it again I would get a 5000$ doll!

Todd

[Polygon]

Get a sharp sharp sharp lawyer. Also, you become on disability due to this Lyme disease then a whole new, what would you call? Favor on your side. From my brief experience, if you become disabled while married, then the spouse has a responsibility for her disabled partner. Again get a sharp sharp sharp lawyer.

[ht4spd307]

depending how deep in you are into the divorce sell your daily drivers with her approval tell her you need some disposable income for bills ect  give her half of the sales all in black & white then start using the charger as your daily driver .i'm pretty sure daily drivers get left out of the picture as its your primary way of transport to and back from work.

[fastmark]

if you live in a community property state, then half of everything you have acquired since marriage is half hers. That saved most of my cars and real estate in my 25 years of marriage. If papers are filed, then don't sell anything. Judges get pissed about that. Get the best lawyer you can find. Be careful on that.  Talk to friends about their lawyers. Don't get one that wants to be vengeful. If there is a lawyer in town with a bad reputation for expensive and drawn out divorces, go talk to them. That keeps your wife from getting them! If your car is taken apart, it is worth less money. You may need to rebuild the motor right? My 70 Charger RT was valued by " their" expert for $3000 because it had the motor and interior out! Matching numbers with nice original paint to boot. They valued my wrecked parts car 70 challenger for $6000. It's just a high stakes poker game in reality. My best advice is to patch things up, though. My daughter will not even talk to her mother still after 7 years. It will wreck the ENTIRE family, forever. My kids will never get over it. I bet money she has been talking to some old bitter divorced bitch that is encouraging her. Hope it works out for you ,bud. Been there.

[alfaitalia]

I'm not sure that I want to know the answer but.....
To the lifelong bachelors, anti-marriage types, etc: What do you do about your sexual urges? Jerk off all the time ? Search for prostitutes?
Buy a $5000 sex doll ?  
I have had some time between women but not years and years. Wouldn't you forget what a woman feels like after awhile?

Hell....I used to get much more sex when I was single. Picking up girls in pubs and clubs each weekend until I found Mrs Right!! Did not find her until I was about 35 (so that was about 20 years of bachelor fun!!) and got married (for the first AND ONLY) time when I was 40. Sex now is probably at usual married couple level....you know, Christmas, Birthdays, when she dings the car and is trying to calm me down!!!

[lloyd3]

The car is the least of my worries. I have a 14-year old that I love dearly.  The rest of my family is now gone.  The thought of living alone now at 60 is pretty ugly. It feels like God has abandoned me.

[Mytur Binsdirti]

I'm not sure that I want to know the answer but.....
To the lifelong bachelors, anti-marriage types, etc: What do you do about your sexual urges? Jerk off all the time ? Search for prostitutes?
Buy a $5000 sex doll ? 
I have had some time between women but not years and years. Wouldn't you forget what a woman feels like after awhile?

Hell....I used to get much more sex when I was single. Picking up girls in pubs and clubs each weekend until I found Mrs Right!! Did not find her until I was about 35 (so that was about 20 years of bachelor fun!!) and got married (for the first AND ONLY) time when I was 40. Sex is probably at usual married couple level....you know, Christmas, Birthdays, when she dings the car and it trying to calm me down!!!

I've been told that if you use your other hand, it feels like someone new is doing it.  

[303 Mopar]

The car is the least of my worries. I have a 14-year old that I love dearly.  The rest of my family is now gone.  The thought of living alone now at 60 is pretty ugly. It feels like God has abandoned me.

Very sorry to hear.  From personal experience, divorce is ugly and worlds get ripped apart. No one wins and your boy will suffer the most not only now but he will be scarred into the future in relationships, especially in his own marriage. Just being truthful.

My advice, don't argue over the small stuff because you will not want the memories anyway. Get it over as soon as possible before the lawyer sink their claws deeper into your bank account.  Move on and spend as much time as possible with your son. Don't talk negatively about your ex in front of your son, she will always be his mom and you are only hurting him.

[Ponch ®]

My personal life is a trainwreck these days.  My extended illness with Lyme's Disease did some possibly irreparable damage to my now 33-year old marriage.  I'm now at month 4 in trying to save it but.....it's not going as well as I would have hoped.  What should I expect if my world comes apart?  

Sorry to hear you're going through that. The short answer is....there is no short answer. What state do you live in? From then on, there are a ton of factors that determine what happens to your property (how you got it, when you got it, how you paid for it, where the money for it came from, and so on, and so on and so on). But yeah, get a lawyer.  Best case scenario, you are able to save your marriage and move on for the better; next-to-best case scenario you and your spouse work out a fair resolution on how things get divided.

if you live in a community property state, then half of everything you have acquired since marriage is half hers.

not everything. Generally, if you got it as a gift, inherited it, or bought it with money/assets you already had before marriage (or proceeds from selling the gifted property), its considered separate property and doesnt get halfed. Usually only the things you acquired with your earnings while married are halfed. It gets complicated though when, for example, you had the car before you got married but you used some "community" money to fix it, etc. That's when lawyers come in handy. Either way, I don't think he's in a CP state...

Sell the car to a trusted friend and hope that she does not stumble upon your receipts or an accurate market value of the car.

As it was said before, even a mediocre lawyer can see through that. They can still get to the proceeds from the "sale". It also may be illegal in most states, resulting in sanctions or worse. So no, do not follow this advise.

[lloyd3]

I won't quit trying to save this marriage until I can honestly say I have no regrets.  It's been the toughest 4-months of my life, but I'm willing to hang-on for the sake of my son. I'm just so gut-sick all the time. It's like one of us died.  So so sad here, all the time.  I get to where I don't think I can't do it anymore and then I think of what I'd be throwing away.  I pray for healing and I live for little rays of hope everyday.  I was so sick and for so long. I know I put her through hell.  I guess my hell is now.

[Just 6T9 CHGR]

I won't quit trying to save this marriage until I can honestly say I have no regrets.  It's been the toughest 4-months of my life, but I'm willing to hang-on for the sake of my son. I'm just so gut-sick all the time. It's like one of us died.  So so sad here, all the time.  I get to where I don't think I can't do it anymore and then I think of what I'd be throwing away.  I pray for healing and I live for little rays of hope everyday.  I was so sick and for so long. I know I put her through hell.  I guess my hell is now.

So I guess the "in sickness and in health"  doesnt apply any longer?   Sorry you are going through this

[Ponch ®]

I'm not sure that I want to know the answer but.....
To the lifelong bachelors, anti-marriage types, etc: What do you do about your sexual urges? Jerk off all the time ? Search for prostitutes?
Buy a $5000 sex doll ?  
I have had some time between women but not years and years. Wouldn't you forget what a woman feels like after awhile?

Hell....I used to get much more sex when I was single. Picking up girls in pubs and clubs each weekend until I found Mrs Right!! Did not find her until I was about 35 (so that was about 20 years of bachelor fun!!) and got married (for the first AND ONLY) time when I was 40. Sex now is probably at usual married couple level....you know, Christmas, Birthdays, when she dings the car and is trying to calm me down!!!

THIS. no need for whores or real dolls if you're half decent looking and have some good game. If you're ugly AF and have the charm of a Dateline NBC predator, then yeah...hookers and jackie are probably your only/best bet.