dying

[el dub]

Unlike the U.S. Border, all arrivals at the 'pearly gates'  endure a bureaucratic examination before admission is granted. First, is 

a clerk who inputs a computerized record of what each applicant did

on his or her last day of life.

His first applicant of the day explained how his last day was not good.



"I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed.





She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower.





Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover.
 
I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his fingertips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me. I suffered a massive heart attack and died."
 
The clerk agreed it was a bad day and sent him to a waiting room.

The second applicant said that his last day was the worst.







"I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the edge.





I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment, but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell, but hit some awnings and bushes and survived. But as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me.





I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."
 
The clerk couldn't supress a chuckle as he directed the man to the waiting room.   

He was still giggling when his third arrival of the day entered.







He apologized and said, "I doubt your last day was as interesting as the two fellows that arrived here just before you."

"I don't know", replies the man.







"Picture this. I'm buck naked, hiding in this cedar chest ......"

[Billy832]

Awesome!  I love that one.....trying to picture which guy would be someone I know....

[polywideblock]