Threatened Charger

[HeavyFuel]

Have to vent here, guys.  I feel a common bond with many of you, so I feel this is the place to get this out, and you'll understand.


The wife is upset with me for a variety of reasons....okay.....who's wife isn't on occasion?

But last night she was irrational to the point where she said I'd better move my Charger to another location, out of our garage, because she was going to do something to it...like damage/wreck something.  She knows how much I love it, and that such an action would hurt me.....a lot.

She was pissed, I understand that.  But not over something really traumatic, like I kicked the dog or nailed another woman or something.  (She thinks the car is holding up a kitchen remodel...long story)

I just consider the source most of the time when she says things, but damn, isn't this going way over the line?

If I went out to the garage and found something intentionally wrecked on my car....... well, that would suck.  In more ways than one.

[F8-4life]

That sucks, Your charger looks like a real nice car.
To threaten the car is both low & a cheap shot.

[BB1]

I would seek counseling sounds like anger issues towards you, she might not tell you upfront as to why. 

[twodko]

Man, I don't know what to say here. There's problems going on brother, more than a delayed kitchen remodel.

[XS29L9Bxxxxxx]

Put her bags on the front porch, that'll drive your point home 


Anyways, good luck, as there is no simple answer

[Cooter]

When someone feels they cannot seem to 'get at' you enough, they will get at you sooner or later by the things that DO get at you.
this has been whitnessed time and time again in divorces where one parent/ex spouse will almost always use children as leverage.

I'd be finding out what pissed her off enough to feel as though she had no other recourse but to attack the car. If she cannot explain why, then she cannot possi bly expect you to figure it out. Kitchen or no kitchen, if she finds out she can force your hand just by threatening your car, then you will live a sorry existance. If the wifey EVER said anything like that to me, first thing I'd do is take a long drive out onto some land my family owns, show her a simple hole dug yay long and yay narrow. ..luckily for me, the wifey and I have never had to feel like we need to threaten each other.

[cavemanno1]

I don't think she meant it just caught her in a bad moment!I'm sure she knows how expensive to fix the charger and causing damage to it would delay the kitchen project even longer!However you should realise that she is not intersted in your car and sees it as a waist of money so you have to give her something in return to put up with your hobby!IMO

By the way,a new kitchen won't make them happy(the wives) if they are not happy with themself,know from experience

[bull]

Menopause? Obviously irrational. She needs to see a doctor, either a Psy.D., an MD or both.

[Homerr]

The solution is simple:  you each need to talk about your feelings.

(Note that I said 'feelings' and not 'solutions'.  We men are terrible at this usually.  Here's a list of feelings.  http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/assess/feelings.html )

If you can't bring yourselves to that then seek out a counselor.

If you can't bring yourselves to do that then suffer or divorce.

Skip all the threats, blaming, etc. b.s.

[Daytona R/T SE]

I used to have a long term girlfriend who would lash out at me like that.

She would pick a fight for no reason.

She would try to push me to the point of exploding.

I couldn't figure this out for months and months...

Then...

I found out who else she was fu&%ing.

[Baldwinvette77]

Just throw some money at her, the amount doesn't matter as long as its cash, it'll trigger something in her brain to fall in love with you again... or atleast that works for me,

i mean literally just throw money on her  

That or just give her a Hug , it will confuse her, but unless you smell like the charger she won't get mad (For some reason women hate it when you hug them when you smell like a car   )

[CDN72SE]

After the kitchen remodel it will undoubtabley be something else, that's my situation. Since my wife sees my car as a "hobby" then it's not all that neccessary to work on it or finish it. She has a list of other things that she feels have priority over my Charger. We've been together 24 years (14 married), she doesn't like my car, is not interested in it, doesn't get the whole thing and my car was around long before her. The worst part is she knows how much it means to me and still doesn't support me and try to make me happy, as soon as I say my car... she shuts down.

Now all that being said she has never suggested I sell it or has she threatened to damage it. Sounds like she is saying this to you to get you where it hurts.
Has she threatened the car before?

[Dino]

The solution is simple:  you each need to talk about your feelings.

(Note that I said 'feelings' and not 'solutions'.  We men are terrible at this usually.  Here's a list of feelings.  http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/assess/feelings.html )

If you can't bring yourselves to that then seek out a counselor.

If you can't bring yourselves to do that then suffer or divorce.

Skip all the threats, blaming, etc. b.s.

Agreed, you need to sit down and talk and find help if needed.  This is not just about the car, it never is just about the car.

You're a strong man to come here and lay the cards on the table like this.  I do hope you can work it out.

[1974dodgecharger]

Not that this will work for u but I got a divorce one reason was the car believe it or not. 

[SuperJim]

I would sit down with her, and calmly ask what "exactly" has her so upset. If she stays calm, she may tell you - and YOU have to really listen. If she gets mad, calmly ask her again. Just stay seated, and tell her you do want to find a solution that satisfies both of you. Be prepared, as something very well could be wrong - that you have not seen. Be honest, and calm. Hope you find out what's up...

[tan top]

The solution is simple:  you each need to talk about your feelings.

(Note that I said 'feelings' and not 'solutions'.  We men are terrible at this usually.  Here's a list of feelings.  http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/assess/feelings.html )

If you can't bring yourselves to that then seek out a counselor.

If you can't bring yourselves to do that then suffer or divorce.

Skip all the threats, blaming, etc. b.s.

Agreed, you need to sit down and talk and find help if needed.  This is not just about the car, it never is just about the car.

You're a strong man to come here and lay the cards on the table like this.  I do hope you can work it out.

first of all  she may well of been joking !!  if not
need to talk about it & seek professional help ,
seriously doubt you will ever get a truthfull answer & get to the bottom of the problem , women don't know what they want or they do  , they change their mind , &  cant decide ! always want what they cant have  , & it will drive you crazy insane trying to figure them out  . unless ive just been unlucky  

 but having said this no offence to your wife , if she has threatened to do this , for no apparent reason , other than wanting her own way or wants attention ,  what else is  festering around in her head !!  where is it going to stop !!  you sort out the kitchen , then she will get something else in her head ! she wants or wants you to do !

I used to have a long term girlfriend who would lash out at me like that.

She would pick a fight for no reason.

She would try to push me to the point of exploding.

I couldn't figure this out for months and months...

Then...

I found out who else she was fu&%ing.

yeah sadly I know that one ! too , starting a argument for no reason , pushing all my buttons  , only to find out she was getting it else where  !

Put her bags on the front porch, that'll drive your point home  


Anyways, good luck, as there is no simple answer

yeah sadly if it all wernt a joke  ,  might be the only answer !   if you give in this time  what else is she prepared to do !! to get her own way !

Menopause? Obviously irrational. She needs to see a doctor, either a Psy.D., an MD or both.

 maybe     ,

good luck

[ACUDANUT]

I would move the Charger, or Move her out. What state do you live in.? It's not in your profile.

[JB400]

More than likely, the wife won't tell you exactly what's up.  My advice, ask her best friend or   mother in law.  Admit to them what you know you haven't done and ask what sent her over the edge.  I'm sure she's been talking to somebody.  

[polywideblock]

been through this    ,am now single and have no worries any more .  

first it was the kitchen then the bathroom then house needed painting AGAIN  then her car wasn't good enough anymore (2 years old bought new ) and finaly surprise surprise I wasn't romantic enough and she didn't like my dress sense anymore and thought I needed a makeover .

wasn't till the divorce that I found out about doc asshole at the hospital that she was a nurse at .

               look for a deeper reason she's started acting irrational   

[bull]

There's a saying going around now that I like. It goes, "Don't try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other."

By the way, did you happen to explain to her that storing the Charger will cost even more money than leaving it where it is? I know this is obvious but I'm often surprised how "obvious" facts are not obvious when processed by irrational brains. While you're stating the obvious you might also explain that repairing intentional damage will also cost more money than leaving it alone.

If I had to choose though I would choose storing it elsewhere. Out of sight, out of mind.

[myk]

You have to consider that a woman's "kitchen remodel" is just as crucial as a "500 CI stroker build" and "Hotchkis full suspension TVS install" would be for one of our Chargers; could you imagine how pissed you'd be if someone kept you or us from those projects?  Additionally, I will say that her misgivings have been building up to this unfortunate melting point; why people don't address what bothers them before they "lose it" is beyond me.  Personally, I would take a knee and appeal to whatever sanity, compassion and understanding this woman may still have.  At that point I hope that the two of you can reach some sort of understanding; there IS a way as long as both of you are willing to make it work...

[HeavyFuel]

Thanks for the words, guys.

My wife is one of those unfortunate souls that was born without a filter.   You know, the one that stops you from saying something that is totally wrong or inappropriate.

Here is a good story about her:

When she was 18 years old, at US Army basic training, she and the rest of her squad were looking at the duty roster.  After they found out that their squad had been assigned some of the worst duties, my wife exclaimed (while surrounded by her mostly african-american squad members), "Why do we get all the N*gger work?!"   She's lucky that they took mercy on her dumb-ass remark, and let it slide.


Like I said....no filters, the shit just comes out.

[myk]

Thanks for the words, guys.

My wife is one of those unfortunate souls that was born without a filter.   You know, the one that stops you from saying something that is totally wrong or inappropriate.

Here is a good story about her:

When she was 18 years old, at US Army basic training, she and the rest of her squad were looking at the duty roster.  After they found out that their squad had been assigned some of the worst duties, my wife exclaimed (while surrounded by her mostly african-american squad members), "Why do we get all the N*gger work?!"


Like I said....no filters, the shit just comes out.

Wow.  But....somehow you felt compelled to marry this woman so she can't be all that bad...

[HeavyFuel]

Thanks for the words, guys.

My wife is one of those unfortunate souls that was born without a filter.   You know, the one that stops you from saying something that is totally wrong or inappropriate.

Here is a good story about her:

When she was 18 years old, at US Army basic training, she and the rest of her squad were looking at the duty roster.  After they found out that their squad had been assigned some of the worst duties, my wife exclaimed (while surrounded by her mostly african-american squad members), "Why do we get all the N*gger work?!"


Like I said....no filters, the shit just comes out.

Wow.  But....somehow you felt compelled to marry this woman so she can't be all that bad...

True.   But you know how it goes, the test drive doesn't always show how the thing is going to hold up in the long haul.   

[hemihead]

I used to have a long term girlfriend who would lash out at me like that.

She would pick a fight for no reason.

She would try to push me to the point of exploding.

I couldn't figure this out for months and months...

Then...

I found out who else she was fu&%ing.

I went through this when I was married 14 years ago . I agree with Daytona R/T  SE .  Usually the cause of her anger isn't from obvious things .
Most of the time it comes from subconscience guilt . My ex use to explode on me for nothing and I found out she was screwing around on me .
One day I took all her stuff out of the house , threw it on the front yard , changed the locks and told her there's your crap see you in court .
  I got the son and the house . She got her boyfriend and the bar she hung out in . Men need to start being Men .

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