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The world's future is in trouble

Started by Darkman, March 12, 2010, 04:43:15 PM

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Darkman

The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in England.

These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.



Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

.

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
Make it idiot proof, and somebody will make a better idiot!

If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid!

tan top

Feel free to post any relevant picture you think we all might like to see in the threads below!

Charger Stuff 
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,86777.0.html
Chargers in the background where you least expect them 
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,97261.0.html
C500 & Daytonas & Superbirds
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,95432.0.html
Interesting pictures & Stuff 
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,109484.925.html
Old Dodge dealer photos wanted
 http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,120850.0.html

PocketThunder

Quote from: tan top on March 12, 2010, 06:32:31 PM
:smilielol:  thats  some funny stuff  :lol: :smilielol: :yesnod:

the last 3 are the best. .   terminal illness! :rofl:  :rofl:
"Liberalism is a disease that attacks one's ability to understand logic. Extreme manifestations include the willingness to continue down a path of self destruction, based solely on a delusional belief in a failed ideology."

tan top

Quote from: PocketThunder on April 02, 2010, 12:51:59 PM
Quote from: tan top on March 12, 2010, 06:32:31 PM
:smilielol:  thats  some funny stuff  :lol: :smilielol: :yesnod:

the last 3 are the best. .   terminal illness! :rofl:  :rofl:

yeah terminal illness  :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol: :yesnod: :lol:
Feel free to post any relevant picture you think we all might like to see in the threads below!

Charger Stuff 
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,86777.0.html
Chargers in the background where you least expect them 
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,97261.0.html
C500 & Daytonas & Superbirds
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,95432.0.html
Interesting pictures & Stuff 
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,109484.925.html
Old Dodge dealer photos wanted
 http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,120850.0.html

A383Wing


MoparManJim

Your right, the future is in big throuble with those kids with there answers!  :smilielol: 

Khyron



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chargerman67

67 Dodge Charger 440
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95 Impala SS
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