100% legit Craigslist Ad!! No joke!

[SmashingPunkFan]

I found it in the free section, and it was titled "FREE-96 cans of fat free BBQ pringles"
like I said, 100% no joke!! , I got the final 5 cans from him!!  




Don't even f......... say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.

I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor.

The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont  tell you...

Except in tiny print you cant read without a  electron microscope

...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."

Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.

Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. WTF?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?

So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.

I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.

The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.

I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.

That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.

So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.

You fucking Pringle bastards.

The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.

Fucking Pringle bastards.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO PICK UP ANYTIME
EXPIRATION DATE 2/2010
MUST BE MY BODY CHEMISTRY
THANKS

[b5blue]

  That's why I always read the fine print.

[parkerswede]

A friend of mine, a PhD in Chemistry, developed the Olean product at the behest of a large food company. He said he wouldn't touch the stuff. I thought it was long dead. Not good to eat.......

[Magnumcharger]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olestra
"It is currently used as a base for deck stains and a lubricant for small power tools, and there are plans to use it on larger machinery"....

[b5blue]

Apparently ass-embly lube also. 

[Blown70]

Um yea, I know too late but DONT EAT THAT>......

[SeattleCharger]

gross,     

   that is too funny that is actually what the guy wrote in his ad   

     I won't eat fat free products, or nutrisweet or supro for that matter, or margarine, bunch of poison all of it

[squeakfinder]

Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease.

After reading that, it took me a while to get threw the rest of it 

There was something else on the market that was in low calorie desserts. Maybee it's the same thing, but there was a warning not to eat to much of it at once because it could cause rectal leakage.

[69charger2002]

man that was so funny i almost cried

[mikepmcs]

HILARIOUS!!! I was laughing so hard! The first sentence is killer! "Don't even f#%@$g say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat"  genius writing....effin pringle bastards.....lol!!! Here I go laughing again  

[Mr.Woolery]

"Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."

:SWOON: 

[Hemidog]

That was great! 

[Martian R/T]

My little Brothers Father-in-law had this same kind of experience he received a huge bag of sugar free chocolates one Christmas, and after he had eaten the whole bag found the same kind of fine print on the bag, needless to say he spent the next few hours on the crapper, the fine print read, over consumption may cause a laxative effect, he definitely found that out the hard way.

[mikepmcs]

Still laughing! Shared it at work today.... needless to say for about 45 minutes nothing got done.

Found out.... It's from the best of craigslist.....and was a Los Angeles Craigslist listing 07/17/2006.

[SeattleCharger]

Still laughing! Shared it at work today.... needless to say for about 45 minutes nothing got done.

Found out.... It's from the best of craigslist.....and was a Los Angeles Craigslist listing 07/17/2006.

Showed it to my boss at my part time job I have that supliments my slow businesses I have.
   He was laughing his a$#@ off.     

[Go Hogs Go]

Man I can't remeber the last time I laughed until i cried. Funny stuff!

[CB]

 

[jaak]

Great stuff, man it took me a half hour to read that shit I was laughing so hard.

Jason

[rt green]

that was too good. i'm going to store my rusty parts in a pringle can

[GPULLER]

I heard when certain potato chip manufactures were testing chips made with olean, they would send out samples of chips along with a color chart.  After you ate the chips you were supposed to compare the color of the shit stain in your pants to the color chart provided by the chip manufacture.  Cool...where do I sign up for that program??

[Skyview69]

 

[bakerhillpins]

consumption may cause a laxative effect, he definitely found that out the hard way.

Sounds like it was actually the soft way....       

[hemihead nc]

...one of the products that had "olean" as an ingredient had a warning in VERY fine print at the VERY end of the cautions that said something about " anal leakage "

...Boy, sign me up for some of that product.......

[SeattleCharger]

ya, the makers figure if you eat a serving or two, its not enough to cause a problem, . . .  but . . .
 
 how many fat people that diet, buy the diet stuff and end up eating a can or two,  just like the guy who wrote the ad.       then they are in a world of olean hurt