Married humor

[charger490]

Married humor
>
>        Wife: "What are you doing?"
>         Husband : Nothing.
>         Wife : "Nothing...?  You've been reading our      marriage
> certificate for an hour."
>         Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
>      --------------------------------------------------------------------
>         Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
>         Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
>         Wife : "Yes and no."
>      --------------------------------------------------------------------
>         Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet.  Why?"
>         Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look
> at your picture and the problem disappears."
>         Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
>         Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem
> can there be greater than this one?"
>      --------------------------------------------------------------------
>         Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all
> your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
>         Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries
> or troubles."
>         Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."
>      --------------------------------------------------------------------
>         Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me
> to give up my seat to a lady."
>         Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
>         Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
>      ________________________________
>         A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if
> my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
>         "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO
> MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"
>      --------------------------------------------------------------------
>         Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
>         Son: "My friend just borrowed it.  He wants to scare his parents."
>      --------------------------------------------------------------------
>         Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
>         The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."
>      --------------------------------------------------------------------
>         A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty
> face or my sexy body?"
>         He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense
> of humor

[moparguy01]

how about these ones

Whats the difference  between a girlfriend and a wife?


bout 40 pounds.


and how bout this one:
They found a food which decreases a women's sex drive by 75%. They call it wedding cake.

[SeattleCharger]

   I like these ones.   


  Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
  The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."

They found a food which decreases a women's sex drive by 75%. They call it wedding cake.