Guy & His Midget Wife

[Old Moparz]

A guy walks into a bar with his midget wife and takes a stool, with his wife standing next to him. The bartender was busy at the other end and didn't see them when they walked in. When he got done serving the customers there, he walked down the bar and asks the new customer what he would like. He asks for two glasses of beer, which the barman brings. After leaving him, the bartender goes about serving other patrons, when he notices the man has finished his beers. He asks if he would like a refill, and the man says, "Yes. I'll have a couple more."

The barman gets two more beers and sets them in front of the man. Never having seen anyone with the guy, his curiosity is piqued, and he asks him, "Why, do you order two drinks at a time?"

The man replies, "Oh, one is for me, and the other for my wife."

Astounded, having not seen the midget wife, the bartender says, "Your wife? Where is she?"

"She's standing here next to me."

The bartender, standing on his toes, leaning forward looking over the edge of the bar, utters, "Well, I'll be God damned, she ain't any bigger than your fist!"

The man replies, "No, but she's a lot better!"