old jokes

[el dub]

> A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
> "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
>
> "Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
>
> There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked
> 'NO REFILLS'.."
>
> ***********************
>
> An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
>
> "Yes, Dad , what is it?"
>
> "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go
> well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Aging:
>
> Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old."
>
> ---------------------------------
>
> The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. (Mostly because we forgot why we were waiting in line in the first place !!)
>
> ---------------------------------
>
> Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know why I look this way. I've travelled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
>
> ********************
>
> When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
> Algebra.
>
> -------------------------------
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
>
> First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper....it's worse when you forget to pull it down.
>
> *********************
>
> "Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth!"
>
> Now, if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . . stick around awhile .. . . it will!
>
> And don't forget that life is like a roll of toilet paper... it goes faster at the end!