Taking care of elderly parents with dementia.

[hemi68charger]

Hey ya'll,
I'm sure I'm not the only on here that's taking care of one of their elderly parents.. I have had my step-mother with us for about 5 years now. At the beginning, it was ok, but now it's becoming more emotionally draining. Her Dementia is getting worse and we're not made of money, so we do what we can do. We sold her former house, with my sibling's blessing, so we could move into this new home that's a one story to accommodate her then and future needs. We're in Texas.

Are there any Federal or State programs that help the situations of families who are primary care-givers for the elderly inlew of making them a ward of the State? I thought I heard once in Texas they will help families so they don't have to take on the full responsibility. I'm a very conservative individual, so I would never want anyone to take care of my duties. But, if there are programs or benefits she might be entitled to, I'm all for it. I want to help my mother, but at the same time, don't want to run down my family in the process. Kim, my wife, stays home to make extra money in watching some children, take care of Mom and watch over Julie, our 3-year old. Believe me, there are days when she wishes she had a regular job. But, life is what it is at this point in time. As they say, "what comes around, goes around"....

Cheers,
Troy

[b5blue]

God Bless you Troy! I think you should start a USA.Gov web site, there may be programs available on the fed. level to help. The site is easy to navigate and there is a questionnaire you can fill out (for both you and her) that will "bird-dog" programs that might help. 

[twodko]

Troy,

I'm sorry to hear your Mom is slipping deeper into dementia. My wife has Fahr's Syndrome, its very much like Parkinson's. We both put on the brave face to keep from crying.........bad things happen to good people. Its awful to see anyone suffering but when its your own family member it throws you into deep despair if not vapor lock.
I'm a firm believer in "what goes around, comes around", what you and your family are doing reveals the strength of your spirit and the love that cradles your soul. Your Mom is very blessed to have a son like you.
My wife is only 56, can't work, speaks with great difficulty and is mobility challenged. We have submitted paperwork to Social Security so hopefully we can begin receiving early permanent disability benefits for her. You may want to look into this, the forms are downloadable. It can take anywhere from 3-6 months getting through the process but its worth the wait if it can provide more income for in-home care. This is what we're hoping for. Bless you and your family Troy and don't beat yourself up. Our lives are so short, kiss your family and hug 'em while telling them you love them.

Tom

[Neal_J]

Man, I feel ya.  My mom has it too.  She and I will have the same conversation multiple times in a short span of time because she can't remember what she's already said.

Once I counted that she repeated the same sentence unknowingly 10 times within an hour's time.

It's rough to handle.  I wish you & your mom the best.

[chargerboy69]

Troy,  I was sorry to hear about your mother.  I understand all to well it is not easy.  We lost my dad a few years ago.  He had Parkinsons, and near the end dementia entered the picture.  We will keep you and your family in our prayers.

Tim

[jb666]

After just recently losing my 3rd (and last) grandparent in two years to Alzheimer's disease, I'm quite sure I know what's in my future.. But, I really am sorry to hear about your Mom. It's not easy to deal with, and very difficult to understand "why is this happening!". I watched people I love slip into a mental position of a 4 year old...

Good luck and be strong 

[Tilar]

Troy, How old is your mom?

Check your phone book for "Texas Area Agency on Aging".  They have a program called "Passport & Long Term Care".   There should be an office nearby, probably at the county seat.  It is a government run entity that will bring people in 4 hours a day to give you a break. They will help with bathing her, laundry, dishes, fixing dinner and just about anything else you need help with within that 4 hours a day, and you can pretty well set which 4 hours provided they have a caregiver free at those specific times. 

If my grandmother lives till December 9th she will be 103 years old.  My mother is 77 years old and she takes care of my grandmother, Passport has been a God send for us.

If she is taking a lot of medications, Some drug companies will also give you discount drug cards to help with prescription drug costs if she is not on Medicare. Your pharmacist would be a good source for information on that.

[Silver R/T]

My grandfather had dementia after having a couple of strokes. My mom and her sisters were taking care of him till the end.

[Charger440RDN]

It's tough, my grandmother got alzheimers and it started with her repeating herself over and over when she would talk to you and her forgetting things. My family had to put her in a nursing home and within two years she didn't recognize any of the family when we came to visit. After 2 more years she died.