Changing the oil, men vs. women

[bull]

I got this email a while back. It actually changed my opinion on changing my own oil:

>>> Oil Change procedures for Women:
>>> 1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles 
>>> since the > last oil change.
>>> 2) Drink a cup of coffee
>>> 3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly > 
>>> maintained vehicle.
>>>

>>>  Money spent:
>>> Oil Change:              $20.00
>>> Coffee:                    $1.00
>>> Total:                          $21.00
>>>

>>> Oil Change procedures for  Men:
>>>

>>> 1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case 
>>> of > oil, filter, kitty litter,  hand cleaner and a scented tree, 
>>> write a > check for $50.00.
>>> 2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, 
>>> drive > home.
>>> 3) Open a beer and drink it.
>>> 4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
>>> 5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
>>> 6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
>>> 7) Place drain pan under engine.
>>> Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
>>> 9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
>>> 10) Unscrew drain plug.
>>> 11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in > 
>>> process. Cuss.
>>> 12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and 
>>> arms. > Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
>>> 13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
>>> 14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
>>> 15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil 
>>> > filter and twist off.
>>> 16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing 
>>> oil > everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among 
>>> trash in > trash can to  avoid environmental penalties. Drink a 
>>> beer.
>>> 17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of 
>>> oil to > gasket surface.
>>> 18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
>>> 19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
>>> 20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
>>> 21) Drink beer.
>>> 22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. 
>>> Throw > kitty litter on oil spill.
>>> 23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
>>> 24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes 
>>> with oily > rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid 
>>> crescent wrench > tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on 
>>> frame removing any excess > skin between knuckles and frame.
>>> 25) Begin cussing fit.
>>> 26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
>>> 27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
>>> 28) Beer.
>>> 29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
>>> 30) Beer.
>>> 31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
>>> 32) Beer.
>>> 33) Lower car from jack stands.
>>> 34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled 
>>> > during any missed steps.
>>> 35) Beer.
>>> 36) Test drive car.
>>> 37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
>>> 38) Car gets impounded.
>>> 39) Call loving wife, make bail.
>>> 40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
>>>

>>> Money spent:
>>>
>>> Parts                           $50.00
>>>  DUI                            $2500.00
>>> Impound fee                  $75.00
>>> Bail                             $1500.00
>>> Beer                                $20.00
>>>

>>> Total                                 $4,145.00
>>>
>>>  (But you know the job was done right!)
>>>

>>> SEND THIS TO WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH......
>>>
>>> AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT....

[beedees]

  Man, are you just now catching on?

[bull]

Man, are you just now catching on?

Yes. Sad, I know.

[six-tee-nine]

Man how do you know all these things about me

[69bronzeT5]

 

[waroc]

      shoulda had a v8........

[71ChallengeHer]

  But I would never take any of my cars to Jiffy Lube.

[70charginglizard]

>>> Oil Change:              $20.00??

Not in my neighborhood. Thanks to the over 75000 mile thing I cant roll into any of those places for uner 45-50 bucks anymore so I always do my own.

Just got done changing the oil in my dakota and yes. as I tried to poke out that oil treatment aluminum cover, it did cut my finger up pretty good but blood and oil make a great mix when doing an oil change. 

Haven't gotten a dui yet knock on wood.  

[chargerman68]

that is so true....