For the Ladies

[68chrgrwife]

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest
woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he steps out of the
shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the
lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor.
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary. On their special day, a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been so good, each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the
World with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.

Whoosh! Immediately he turned 90.

Gotta love that fairy!
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Dear Lord,

I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death


AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long
Enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

[Plumcrazy]

   I don't get them.    

[Khyron]

  I don't get them.    

the punch lines are in the folder marked "Instruction manuals" 

[69bronzeT5]

Im not a woman I got those lol.


The "A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest
woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." one is funny

[Forza]

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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
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LOL