one reason to not get married

[1965gp]

I agree on the 20 year mark- I think that when the kids grow up it is easy to go your own ways. Not trying to preach to anyone- just sharing lessons I learned the hard way. I screw up... A lot! Drink too much beer, spend too much time/money on cars and work too many hours. I have about 10 years until the kids are out of school and then things will have to change.

Very correct Poly- you can only work on it if you are both willing to.

Alfa- I wasn't trying to argue- just trying to explain my position that I might not have made clear in the earlier post.

If for some reason it doesn't work out between us I would definitely lose the SRT and the Bandit- those are both hers.
Having all these cars is a blessing and a curse. My dad has collected cars as long as I can remember but really only likes buying them- and prefers projects that are 'a deal'. I try to take one a year and refurbish it. You run out of room quickly when there is always another project. That pic is of the addition to the existing 3 car garage and we have two barns at his house stuffed with finished/potential projects. I call that 'my pool' - most consider it excessive but wouldn't say anything if I had a pool that cost more than the shop.

There comes a point when your stuff owns you...

I'm getting off topic though- sorry if I got on my soap box- wasn't trying to sound like I know the secret to a good marriage because I assure you I don't! i just wanted to clarify my earlier post.

[Kern Dog]

Nice..............no TOO many sexist comments in that last post. My wife read it....not impressed with your attitude to women. She says no wonder so many or you get divorced if that's what you think of your ladies! Her view not mine...well may be a bit.....in case she reads this post too!

NO

Sorry, wrong answer. 65 had it right the first time.

[stripedelete]

+1

[G-man]

My last bit of adding to the thread...

There is always 2 sides to the story when there is a divorce. I know due to close relations of mine divorcing, they always had "She was like this, she was like that, cant trust woman, they just want the money, they seem good until you get married then they change' and so forth.

Yeah, and what were you like? Im not surprised they left you. In fact, I'm surprised they even bothered marrying you to begin with.

So all the stories here about not getting married (the title of the thread)... just remember what YOU did as to why you are divorced, that will help you prevent a divorce in the future. "But I didn't do anything wrong!" That is a huge reason why.

[XS29L9Bxxxxxx]

if you've got your head screwed on at all the first thing to do when "the shit  starts to hit the fan"  is "sell " them to a "trusted "friend at a greatly reduced price    . bill of sale and all   

you will note I said "trusted"  friend , don't  think this wouldn't work with an acquaintance or work colleague 

it worked for me but      they(court ) never saw a car/parts  or boat cause I didn't own them any more       

                             and bills of sale were used to calculate "wealth" so she got screwed  as well   

I don't think that would work anymore. Courts are too wise to these tactics.

[Lennard]

So all the stories here about not getting married (the title of the thread)... just remember what YOU did as to why you are divorced, that will help you prevent a divorce in the future.

I will prevent a divorce in the future...by never getting married again.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

[1974dodgecharger]

man................................

[Sabre]

My last bit of adding to the thread...

There is always 2 sides to the story when there is a divorce. I know due to close relations of mine divorcing, they always had "She was like this, she was like that, cant trust woman, they just want the money, they seem good until you get married then they change' and so forth.

Yeah, and what were you like? Im not surprised they left you. In fact, I'm surprised they even bothered marrying you to begin with.

So all the stories here about not getting married (the title of the thread)... just remember what YOU did as to why you are divorced, that will help you prevent a divorce in the future. "But I didn't do anything wrong!" That is a huge reason why.

Agreed, as I posted earlier you should know what type of woman you're dating before marrying her.  She doesn't suddenly turn from being nice/sweet to evil woman who wants to hurt you.  What's the best way to hurt a car guy...take his car in the divorce.  Like a knife in the heart.  Any red flags show up during the dating process.....see ya!

[crj1968]

Married 21 years- my wife could care less about cars, but knew from the start its "my thing"

When I ordered a TTI exhaust system it last month it showed up when she wasn't here. Later I brought in just the muffler hangers and said: "Wow this doesn't look like much for $700."  

She just looked at it and said "Yeah, that's crazy."    

[garner7555]

Living within your means is not a bad idea either; a lot of relationship problems could be avoided if priorities were set.

Well Said!   I'm no marriage expert, nor do I claim to be, but it amazes me how much everyone finances everything they buy today.  Especially people my age (I'm 31).  I have a rule that I try to live by - The only things that should be financed are Your Home, Business, or Real Estate.  If I was forced to break this rule to put my wife in a dependable ride then I would, but I'm very much against car payments just to have something to impress people.     Right after high school my friends were taking on 6 year loans to buy really nice trucks and I took out a loan to buy 2 houses and rent them out while I continued to live with my parents.  Now those 2 houses bring in an additional $1000 per month.  It's all about priorities.  I see so many people in so much debt that there money is all spent up before they get it.  That sure does add a lot of unnecessary stress to a relationship.      I will get off my soap box now, Sorry.  Hahaha     

[stripedelete]

Living within your means is not a bad idea either; a lot of relationship problems could be avoided if priorities were set.

Well Said!   I'm no marriage expert, nor do I claim to be, but it amazes me how much everyone finances everything they buy today.  Especially people my age (I'm 31).  I have a rule that I try to live by - The only things that should be financed are Your Home, Business, or Real Estate.  If I was forced to break this rule to put my wife in a dependable ride then I would, but I'm very much against car payments just to have something to impress people.     Right after high school my friends were taking on 6 year loans to buy really nice trucks and I took out a loan to buy 2 houses and rent them out while I continued to live with my parents.  Now those 2 houses bring in an additional $1000 per month.  It's all about priorities.  I see so many people in so much debt that there money is all spent up before they get it.  That sure does add a lot of unnecessary stress to a relationship.      I will get off my soap box now, Sorry.  Hahaha     

It's called, "working for the bank".

[A12 Superbee]

Here's another big tip, if at any stage of your marriage (whilst you are both happy), could even be before marriage, and you have a family member (on your side), like your parents and they offer to give you money to help you with your first home, or to pay for your honeymoon or anything at any stage of your married life, make sure that it is clearly discussed that it is a loan only. Obviously because its family they don't ever expect the money back, but if one day your wife does the dirty on you and you separate then you can get your mum and dad to call in that loan and she will have to pay her half back to them in the terms of the settlement. It makes it less financially attractive for her to just jump ship and clean you out when she knows she has a lot of money to pay back. Might make her actually try harder to save the marriage.

Make sure there is paperwork reflecting this and she won't have a leg to stand on.

[HANDM]

Me and my "girlfriend" for lack of a better word, have been together for 26 years and have never even thought about getting marriid. We have a 21 y.o. daughter about to finish up with her dental assistant or hygenist college (forgive me, I'll ask her which) and a 15 y.o. son in high school. We still live in the same house, have the same mopars of our youth and are as happy as we were when we first met.

Lucky? Blessed? Whichever, but the key is ALWAYS being able to be there, never cheat or lie and be the best man you can possibly be.....

[Charger_Fan]

Damn, there are a LOT of bared souls & emotions in this thread!
On one hand, I'm glad you guys are all secure in yourselves enough to be able to share your stories & air your "emotional dirt" on the interwebz...uh, I mean our close knit group, but come ON!
Okay, so I don't blame you.
But should I bare my soul? Well maybe...I suppose if it helps some other schmuck out there, then why not.

Sooo me...
I was happily married to my High School sweetheart for a few decades. We had our ups & downs like any married couple has...raising kids, money, bills, etc...it all can strain a relationship at times. We always worked through the problems until one day when our kids were grown enough, she decided that she never had enough of "her" time & that she felt as though she had missed out on the chance of living by herself.

However, reading on most people's breakups, I feel sorta lucky in this regard.
She still loved me, as I did her. She isn't spiteful & honestly just wanted to be free. So I gave her that, I let her go. She didn't want the house or cars, but did want some of the monetary value...can't blame her. So I refinanced my almost paid house & bought her out. When she left, it ripped a huge chunk out of my heart...my reason for being. I stopped doing many of the things I loved (like hanging out on DC.com & others). I drank a LOT...A LOT. No,I mean a LOT! My kids & family were genuinely worried for me.
Then one day I decided this wasn't me, that I would overcome. That would I refuse to go down like that, so I dialed it way back. At the time (2013), my younger son had gotten a cool streetbike, so I rebuilt & reassembled my own bike that had been in pieces since '08. VERY therapeutic! We shared some great rides together.

So for the Cliff Notes version, in October that year, I decided that I would give it another go...there had to be someone out there who would like an old fool like me. I didn't want to hit on ladies at the grocery store, because well, I hadn't hit on a woman for damn near 3 decades...so I wimped out & placed an ad on Match.com. Of all places, such a puss. About 4 months later, this sweet lady came along & gave me a reason to trust a woman again. I never thought I'd say this, but angels DO walk amongst us and I found one of my own. I thank my lucky stars for her every day!
Sorry for the selfie, it's kinda fuzzy. It was at a drive-in movie last summer.

[Charger_Fan]

Oh, and the bike in question that lit the fire under my ass?
My boy's 1900cc 2009 Raider...


My bike, a 1990 V-max 1200cc...named the "Aquamax"...cuz it spent a night underwater one night. The Aquamax is not a bike to be messed with, it spanked that poor Raider dead to rights in 2 out of 3 drag races. This bike was  down so long, my son thought my stories were made up. I schooled him into believing that day.



Motorcycles?? Sorry, I digress.

[TPR]

Wow, this thread has almost turned into an episode of the Dr Phil show.
Seriously though, it's been interesting to hear about everyone's experiences on both sides of the argument.
You guys sound like a bunch of honorable blokes.
I'm in the happily married camp, but clearly its a 'different strokes for different folks' kind of situation.

Off topic, 1965GP, how much does it cost to insure all your vehicles?
That picture alone would set me back about 8k p/a just in insurance costs.
I don't know how you do it.
TPR

[alfaitalia]

Me and my "girlfriend" for lack of a better word, have been together for 26 years and have never even thought about getting marriid. We have a 21 y.o. daughter about to finish up with her dental assistant or hygenist college (forgive me, I'll ask her which) and a 15 y.o. son in high school. We still live in the same house, have the same mopars of our youth and are as happy as we were when we first met.

Lucky? Blessed? Whichever, but the key is ALWAYS being able to be there, never cheat or lie and be the best man you can possibly be.....

I bet she's thought about several million times.....whether she's told you or not is quite another thing!

[HANDM]

Me and my "girlfriend" for lack of a better word, have been together for 26 years and have never even thought about getting marriid. We have a 21 y.o. daughter about to finish up with her dental assistant or hygenist college (forgive me, I'll ask her which) and a 15 y.o. son in high school. We still live in the same house, have the same mopars of our youth and are as happy as we were when we first met.

Lucky? Blessed? Whichever, but the key is ALWAYS being able to be there, never cheat or lie and be the best man you can possibly be.....

I bet she's thought about several million times.....whether she's told you or not is quite another thing!

I'm know she has and so have I, but following through is quite another thing, and it's been talked about numerous times. One in the hand is better than 2 in the bush.....so to speak. It's also about not debasing yourself for the pleasures of the flesh, theres so much more to life than that.

Next time keep your dickish comments to yourself...K? Thanks!

[alfaitalia]

Lol! I obviously meant she'd thought about marriage...nothing else.

[charger chris]

Well I am not sure if I will get married again. The last one tryed to take everything I worked for. And no I wasn't the one at fault for things falling apart. The only thing I did wrong was not see her lies soon. All well.

[HANDM]

Lol! I obviously meant she'd thought about marriage...nothing else.

Oh shit, gotcha... Thats the trouble with text messages, It's easy to misunderstand the true intent.

Forgive and forget?   

[alfaitalia]