jokes

[el dub]

Wife:  'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes  or no.'






 Donation
Father  O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the Taxation Department. Can  you help us?'
'I'll try!'
'Do  you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will

Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: 'I am  92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two  hitch-hiking college girls. We went to a motel where I had sex with each of them three times.'
Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
Man: 'What sins?'
Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
Man:  'I'm Jewish.'
Priest: 'Why are you  telling me all this?'
Man: 'I'm 92 years old  . . .   I'm telling everybody!'

 Brothel  Trip
An  elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a  young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and  asks how old he is.
'I'm 90 years old,' he  says.
'90?'  replies the woman. 'Don't you realize that you've had it?'
'Oh, sorry,' says the  old man. 'How much do I owe you?'

 Senility
An  elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting  senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip  up.'
  'That's  not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'

Marriage  Humor
Wife: 'What  are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing . . . ?  You've been reading our marriage certificate  for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

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