I'm back - Spring Training trip report

[nh_mopar_fan]

My annual spring training trip report.

No need to thank me.

Thursday 3/2 – Ft. Myers: Red Sox at Twins. A rare night game. Since both teams are in Ft. Myers, they play each other a million times. The winner of the series is the winner of the "Mayor's Cup". Presumably, this is to make these meaningless games less meaningless. Someone forgot to tell one of the teams. The Sox have 2 starters in the line-up. The Twins have 7. We're two rows behind Theo and John Henry. No Larry to be seen. Coco is a HR short of hitting for the cycle when he is pulled and replaced by the batboy. Sox lose.



Friday 3/3 – Bradenton: Nationals at Pirates. Many teams are missing stars due to the silly World Baseball Classic. That's not the case this day at McKechnie Field as both teams field what could be their opening day rosters, not a star to be found.

The Nationals hop out to a 3-0 and lead until the 7th when the Pirates get the 2nd hit, a 3-run homer. The next inning, Pitt gets their 4th hit a 2-run HR. 5 runs, 4 hits, put a W in the Pitt column. Josh gets an autograph from a few Pitt players after the game including Manny Sanguillen who looks about 60 years old. Contrary to popular opinion, he's not actually playing for

the Pirates this year.



Saturday 3/4 – Ft. Myers: Pirates at Red Sox. We have "dugout seats". These seats are just to the side of the Sox dugout. They're unique in a few ways. First, they are actually at dugout level. Below the field of play. Second, this section has waitress service. Third, they are fold out cushion seats that are not fixed in place. Attached to the seats is a card that reads "Take a part of City of Palms park home with you. Talk to your server about purchasing this seat." I check the price. In return, the Sox would like you to leave a significant portion of your checking acct behind, $199.00. Once again many Sox players are not starting. Bronson Arroyo starts on the mound. The Sox lose, no one notices. I get a foul ball. No child is hurt in the process. That's going home a winner in my book.



Sunday 3/5 – Clearwater: Houston at Philly. We're 8 rows back on home plate. Now, last year, they had this annoying chant where some old codger would yell "Everybody HIT!" and the rest of the crowd yelled "WOO WOO". Extremely annoying. The game starts...no chant. It's quite possible that the old dude has had his last cheese steak (yup, they have them here) and that no one else is senile enough to continue this, AHEM, "tradition". Houston takes an early lead but Philly comes back to tie it in the 9th. After a day in the sun, extra innings does not appeal to me. Apparently, it doesn't appeal to the Astros either. A walk and a passed ball puts the runner on 3rd with two out. The Houston 3rd basemen then plays hacky sack with the slow roller up the line and the winning run scores. No idea who was playing 3rd at that point but I'd like his autograph. We head for Pass-a-grille beach and this great bar called the Hurricane. Directly across the street from the gulf, the sunsets are amazing. I'm not kidding, the sun sets, the crowd on the rooftop bar gives it a standing O.



Monday 3/6 – Sarasota: Philadelphia vs Cincy. We're in the 2nd row, first base side. Must've been AARP discount day at the park because you cannot swing a dead cat without hitting a walker. Now, I know that this is Florida and all but really, the amount of geezers at the Reds games far surpass anywhere else. One of them is Chris Chambliss and he's signing. We pass. Adam Dunn does come over to sign and I know Josh would've wanted that autograph. We forgot the bat in the car. Oh well. So there we are, sunny, 80 degrees, great seats. Nothing could ruin this day. Then, I hear it..."Everybody HIT". "WOO WOO!! Please no.

The chant stops after an inning presumably because someone whacks the guy with an empty Geritol bottle.

The row behind us is filled with 5 guys who just will not shut up. Real knowledgeable fans too. You'll be happy to know that Peter Uebberoth ruined baseball by bringing in the DH. I can stand no more and inform them that 1. the DH was instituted in 1974 and 2. Peter was a damn good commish in the *80s*. They do not let the fact that they are clueless hinder them from continuing their endless, constant jabber. Around the 4th inning, we discover through their "conversation" that they are all lawyers. Explains everything. I make a motion to tell them to shut the f*ck up. That motion is denied by Deb. She is actually SCORING these games. I am not kidding. The official scorer isn't scoring this game but there she is with pencil and scorebook. The guy next to her strikes up a conversation, presumably to ask how much she's spent on beer so far. I don't know who won but, if you'd really like to know, I can ask her what the final score was as well how many pitches the starters threw, what minor leaguers came in after the starters left in the 3rd, and whether the first basemen was wearing boxers or tighty whities. Keeping score is all about the details, after all.



Tuesday 3/7 – Orioles at Red Sox. MANNY IS HERE! Uh, he's supposed to be here, right? Let the ass kissing begin. Manny comes out to stretch, the crowd cheers. Manny goes out to left, the crowd cheers. Manny comes to the plate, the crowd cheers, Manny scratches his privates, well, you get the idea. But, if you think that is the biggest news of the day, you're mistaken. In case you missed the minor league signings of the Orioles this winter, Kevin Millar is with the Orioles this year. The crowd cheers his every move. We're two rows from the O's on-deck circle. Two things cross my mind as Kev steps into the on-deck circle. First, if this crowd is in an ass-kissing mood, he's got enough for everyone. Second, if Kevin's ever taken steroids, he should look for a refund. Deb tells me that I am being two hard on Millar and that I need to remember that he's a streak hitter. I inform her that I am well aware of that fact and I remember his two game hitting streak last July all too well. He promptly lines a double down the left field line which scores a run. Another hitting streak begins. Coco goes 3-3 and Manny goes 2-2 to wild cheering. We go to the airport.

[Old Moparz]

Well, I read your report & I'm disappointed you didn't have any Yankees highlights for me. 

BTW, I predict Johnny Damon as the American League MVP this year.

[nh_mopar_fan]

Psst....Damon was off playing at that silly WBC.