A man and his monkey

[SeattleCharger]

Guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and
while he's drinking, the monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps
onto the pool table, grabs the que ball, sticks it in his mouth and
swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey
just did?

"The guy says "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything
in sight, the little bastard. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and pays for the stuff the monkey
ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later he comes back to the bar with his monkey. He
orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino
cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and
eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his
butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey is doing
now?" he asks. "He stuck a maraschino cherry and then a peanut up
his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats
everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he
measures everything first."

[911bear]

  thats friggen funny!

[Silver R/T]

lmao thats sick but funny

[Charger_Croatia]

LOL...Better to test everything first.   

[ChargerRob]

 

[Old Moparz]

Good one.   

[Fred]

   

[SeattleCharger]

Right on Fred !   pulls joke up from 4 1/2 years ago last post, I posted this in 2006, completely 100 percent forgot about it.    

   I saw this just now and I really have no memory of posting this, and I know I was sober in 2006

  Kinda gross joke

[Fred]

 
Hey! SeattleCharger   You may not know this but I've been likened to a monkey in the not so distant past (on this forum), so when I saw your joke had to do with one, I thought it only apropriate to check it out.
I got a good laugh out of it and figured it was worth resurrecting so that others might to.  

[remta1]

 

[69rtse4spd]

Old one but a good one. .

[polywideblock]

   

[Mopar Nut]