Has your car ever caused a family fued?

[DadsCharger00]

Well it really sucks to say, but Gr8ce, my dad and I's 68 Charger has caused quite a hole in my family. I bought the car for my dad, who is sick with cancer to replace the one he had as a kid. I don't make millions of dollars, but I sacraficed my income to pay for this car becuase it's something that he and I share as a passion (we don't have much else in common). When I purchased the car, I asked my siblings, (two older sisters, and a younger brother) if they were interested or could come into the purchase with me. I knew it would be difficult for them to do, as they don't make a ton of money, but I wanted everyone to be a part of it. I didn't want to cause a problem.  They all said they couldn't participate, which I expected. When I gifted the car to my dad....my sisters made the trip to see it. My brother didn't. I have never said it was from ME....I've always said it was from US. Never wanting to single anyone out.  Since that time however, my brother has become more and more distant. Sad, becuase he and I were like best friends. I attributed him finding a girl, and getting married as to the reason. I don't care for his wife, she doesn't care for me. Figured he was caught in the middle.  Well the other day at our "family" christmas (all be it a late christmas) my brother and I went for a drive to talk about what's up with our relationship. After a lot of dancing around, he finally spills the beans, and brings up the car. Says I did it to buy my dads love. That I did it becasue I knew that when my dad died, I would get the car. That I did it thinking about myself, and that it had nothing to do with my dad. I was dumbfounded.  Couldn't believe that's how he felt. Jealousy? Does he really just not like ME and that was a cop out?? I don't get it. I asked him to head home, and he dropped me off on the side of the road....hit the gas....threw mud all over me....and left.  Haven't seen or spoken with him since....And it seems it's all becuase of the car.  The car I bought OUT of love for my dad. Just a real crappy weekend for me. All this time I figured it was his wife that was the problem. Maybe this whole time it's been him.  Sorry to vent, but just needed to get it off my chest. I just never envisioned that the car was the root of the problem. Has this ever happened to any of you? Has the car cuased a family feud?

[twodko]

Family s**t.....it's always family s**t. There's not much you can do about those who don't care for you. Love and enjoy those who do especially your father. Always take the high ground, not arrogant but honorable. Small crap comes from small minds.......just let it roll off your back and be the good man you are. 

[F8-4life]

"And it seems it's all becuase of the car."

The car is just an item, it could not possibly bring out this type of thing. Seems more like its all because of your brother. His problems are from within and most likly have nothing to do with you.

[Indygenerallee]

Seems to me there is more to the situation than it's "Just a car" Sounds like he has a lot of personal issues he needs to deal with. Sucks it's family my cousin won't talk to me or our grandfather because nobody "understands" his situation and it's everyone elses fault even though he is 36 and throws tantrums like a 5 year old. Some people will just never get it no matter how much you love them..

[cdr]

i agree that IT IS NOT THE CAR, it was just the excuse for him to come undone on you! no matter what ,enjoy your dad while he is here ......

[bull]

"And it seems it's all becuase of the car."

The car is just an item, it could not possibly bring out this type of thing. Seems more like its all because of your brother. His problems are from within and most likly have nothing to do with you.

i agree that IT IS NOT THE CAR, it was just the excuse for him to come undone on you! no matter what ,enjoy your dad while he is here ......

Inanimate objects do not cause fueds; arrogant, insecure and self-righteous people cause fueds.

[moparguy01]

The way I see it, if you had done it just so you would get the car when your father passed, and you were the only person buying it, that you just would have kept it yourself. I think this is your brothers cop out. It is also possible that some of this is due to the wife however. I HAD a very good friend who got married and all of a sudden seemed to have serious issues with me. 3 years later, he got divorced and we started talking. It turns out his wife hated me and nagged him so much that he started to believe what she was saying, which was all lies. I know this isn't exactly the same here, but I hope you can see how it could possible apply.

It sounds like simple jealously. Maybe your brother is jealous because he couldn't spend the money to do such a thing?

having feuds with family is never a fun thing. Sorry to hear you have to go through it too.

[charger_fan_4ever]

Root of a lot of feuds is
Money or 3rd hand stories.

Sucky situation bud.

Money creates jealousy and really gets the best of people sometimes.

[charge69]

Sounds a lot like your brother (and, maybe his wife also) are a little jealous of you being able to afford something for your father that they could not. Your brother will just have to find a way to deal with it and the Charger SHOULD come back to you when he passes.

Just remember the old saying:  You can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family.   We ALL have someone in our family that aggravates us and always will!  Don't let your brother's attitude get to you as it is his attitude and not yours that is causing the problem and not a lot you can do about it but ... live with it.

[JB400]

The car is only a pawn in this issue, not the king or queen.  There is some other issue that is bothering your brother.  Whether it's the stresses of his marriage, your dad's cancer, or something that happened a long, long time ago.  The only advice I personally can give is, give your brother time and space.  When he's ready to talk about the problem, he'll talk.  In the mean time, take your dad for a joy ride in the car.  Enjoy your time together.  Let it be that special time together even if your other relatives don't want to be involved in it.  That will be thier loss.  Now, is the time to make memories, not conflicts.  When your brother sees this, he'll let bygones be bygones.


While you still have the time, enjoy your dad and enjoy the ride.   Make memories

[skip68]

What you should have said when your brother said you were trying to buy your dads love is "I know,....... do you think it's working?"     Family can really suck sometimes.  I know.     I just ignore them the best I can.    

[Tilar]

Well it really sucks to say, but Gr8ce, my dad and I's 68 Charger has caused quite a hole in my family. I bought the car for my dad, who is sick with cancer to replace the one he had as a kid. I don't make millions of dollars, but I sacraficed my income to pay for this car becuase it's something that he and I share as a passion (we don't have much else in common). When I purchased the car, I asked my siblings, (two older sisters, and a younger brother) if they were interested or could come into the purchase with me. I knew it would be difficult for them to do, as they don't make a ton of money, but I wanted everyone to be a part of it. I didn't want to cause a problem.  They all said they couldn't participate, which I expected. When I gifted the car to my dad....my sisters made the trip to see it. My brother didn't. I have never said it was from ME....I've always said it was from US. Never wanting to single anyone out.  Since that time however, my brother has become more and more distant. Sad, becuase he and I were like best friends. I attributed him finding a girl, and getting married as to the reason. I don't care for his wife, she doesn't care for me. Figured he was caught in the middle.  Well the other day at our "family" christmas (all be it a late christmas) my brother and I went for a drive to talk about what's up with our relationship. After a lot of dancing around, he finally spills the beans, and brings up the car. Says I did it to buy my dads love. That I did it becasue I knew that when my dad died, I would get the car. That I did it thinking about myself, and that it had nothing to do with my dad. I was dumbfounded.  Couldn't believe that's how he felt. Jealousy? Does he really just not like ME and that was a cop out?? I don't get it. I asked him to head home, and he dropped me off on the side of the road....hit the gas....threw mud all over me....and left.  Haven't seen or spoken with him since....And it seems it's all becuase of the car.  The car I bought OUT of love for my dad. Just a real crappy weekend for me. All this time I figured it was his wife that was the problem. Maybe this whole time it's been him.  Sorry to vent, but just needed to get it off my chest. I just never envisioned that the car was the root of the problem. Has this ever happened to any of you? Has the car cuased a family feud?

I've been all down this road and it's a twisted damn ride. Like others have pretty well said, It has nothing to do with the car, It's all about you doing something for your Dad and they didn't. He loved the car and they all feel like that means you "might" get a bigger piece of the pie when he's gone, even if it means you get the car that you bought with your money (and you should get it).  It's all about greed, money and their own short comings. Nothing more.

[charge69]

By the way, I would be sure your Dad knew you want the car when he passes. A hard to talk about subject, for sure but, be sure your Father knows you want the car. As hard as it might be now, believe me, your siblings will try to take it if you do not have this conversation with your Dad. I really mean this, you need to discuss this with your father!

[JB400]

By the way, I would be sure your Dad knew you want the car when he passes. A hard to talk about subject, for sure but, be sure your Father knows you want the car. As hard as it might be now, believe me, your siblings will try to take it if you do not have this conversation with your Dad. I really mean this, you need to discuss this with your father!

Changed my opinion. Just out of curiosity, who's name is the car in?


Not trying to make the car the center of attention, there's more important things than the car.  Actually, it would be best for you to not make a big deal about it.  Dust under the rug.  But, there should probably be a family discussion over who gets what.  It might make your dad feel better to know that his things will be well taken care of.

[chargerman69]

My brother hits my T/A cause i paid for it and paid for it to be fixed and painted, he dislikes it just cause i have a classic to go with my truck and he just has a truck

[DadsCharger00]

sorry guys a been at work haven't had an opportunity to reply. In response to the car in general the car is in my name. I think everyone pretty much knows and it's common knowledge that when my dad finally passes away the car belongs to me. dad and I have already talked about it my mom and I have already talked about it and my siblings know that. So maybe that's part of it too. I just find it sad that of all things he had to bring that up. I'm a country kid I grew up on a farm but I'm far from country. My brother is country. When it comes to having things in common with my dad my brother has all the farm. My dad and I never really had anything in common except for baseball and cars. That's why I bought the car. It gives us something to talk about. And so it really kind of struck a nerve when my brother tried to turn this into an issue about the car. I guess I'm just going to step away from the situation which isn't hard. I live 8 hours away from my parents 4 hours away from my brother. I haven't talked to him in months anyway so this will just aid in keeping us apart for longer I guess. I appreciate all the help the kind words and all of you guys just listening to me complain. It's nice to know I have a place where I can kind of air out my dirty laundry in not get judged by it.

[chargerman69]

your welcome Dadscharger00, where all hear to talk about things we have in common and help each order out and listin to our storys not be judged by them

[bull]

Why wouldn't it be yours? You bought it. If you ever run across this type of situation again I think I'd just keep it to myself, don't ask anyone for help buying it.

[chargerboy69]

Mike,  I am sorry to hear of your issues with your brother, hopefully you are able to get things worked out. I know you purchased the car with only the best of intentions.  Perhaps if he checks out the forum and your post, he will see how sincere the purchase was.  Best of luck.  Tim

[polywideblock]

 don't let the separation go on for ever! didn't speak to my sister for 22 years over something that i can't remember.  didn't know she was dead until i saw the ob. in paper .DON'T let this happen

[67_Dodge_Charger]

I agree with the posts above, your brother has other problems and needs to find a counselor or someone like that to help him.  He is lashing out about the car because it is the straw that broke the camals back.  He is greiving about your father's condition and is not sure on how to handle his feelings (or to recognize them).  That is a real tough situation for you and your brother.

Try to include your brother when you see your dad and have your brother help with working on the Charger.  Your brother wants to be included and you need to say to his face "I want you to be part of this."  Tell him "life is too precious to waste and we need to work on our problems."

I lost one brother to an accident and I reached out to my family to help me deal with the pain.  I also made some great memories by reaching out to my siblings and doing things together (that we all could afford).  I don't know your finacial situation but maybe your brother use a vacation (with you) if he ever one.  Take him to a car show, go to swap meets, go for a drive in the Charger, or anything you both enjoy.

Time heals all wounds and you need comunication to keep your bond with your brother and other family members.  I don't profess to be an expert on all things but I have personal experience with comunication problems with my brothers.

Robert

[lisiecki1]

It could have been stirred by something as simple as your dad talking to your brother about something related to the car.  You dad meant nothing by it,  but your brother took it the wrong way.

That and a nagging wife get you a feud.

[tsmithae]

My family has similar issues and unfortunately it definitely seems to come from deep issues that have never been talked about.  One of my uncles won't talk to the rest of us due to a banjo that my grandpa used to play before he passed, another one is bitter about a Porsche 914 (nothing WORTH getting upset about) that was my grandmas, and yet another one is bitter about my Charger taking up space in the garage that my late uncle built so we could restore cars... and yes, I have many uncles and all of this is on my moms side of the family.  I would definitely try to be the bigger man and attempt to talk to him about it, no guarantees that you can resolve it but family is family and it sounds like he needs some support. 

[Cooter]

Yeah man, Me and my brother ain't really spoke in about 20 years. And then, when we did, it usually ended in him trying to tell big brother how "Stupid", and how much he had the entire world figured out in the palm of his hand.
I just stood back and waited for the fireworks when he finally got dragged to court over Child support. Couldn't understand why I made the remark I did. "PG, Whatever you THINK will happen in court, flip it round competely backwards and THAT'S what will happen"
Sure enough, he got hosed.

We finally talk to each other, but I find myself having to REALLY work at it to keep his sarcasm at bay. Hey, at least we's talkin' again. We's coutry too.

[polywideblock]

sorry guys a been at work haven't had an opportunity to reply. In response to the car in general the car is in my name. I think everyone pretty much knows and it's common knowledge that when my dad finally passes away the car belongs to me. dad and I have already talked about it my mom and I have already talked about it and my siblings know that. So maybe that's part of it too. I just find it sad that of all things he had to bring that up. I'm a country kid I grew up on a farm but I'm far from country. My brother is country. When it comes to having things in common with my dad my brother has all the farm. My dad and I never really had anything in common except for baseball and cars. That's why I bought the car. It gives us something to talk about. And so it really kind of struck a nerve when my brother tried to turn this into an issue about the car. I guess I'm just going to step away from the situation which isn't hard. I live 8 hours away from my parents 4 hours away from my brother. I haven't talked to him in months anyway so this will just aid in keeping us apart for longer I guess. I appreciate all the help the kind words and all of you guys just listening to me complain. It's nice to know I have a place where I can kind of air out my dirty laundry in not get judged by it.

maybe your brother feels threatened by your relation ship with your dad if they have everything in common and now he's spending time with you instead of him.he might be worried about "the farm" 

[RECHRGD]

Sometimes time and energy spend trying to mend fences with family is just a waste.  Spend your energy on and with people that make you happy.  Sharing DNA does not obligate you to a lifetime of drama.  It took me decades to figure that out, but I'm much happier now......

[472 R/T SE]

Let me get this straight.  He got the family farm & is pissed you bought a car to share with your old man.  He sounds like a spoiled brat.  He's prolly jealous you didn't buy him a car too.

It would have been everything in me to keep from bringing the fact up that he got the farm & you got squat into the conversation.

[bull]

don't let the separation go on for ever! didn't speak to my sister for 22 years over something that i can't remember.  didn't know she was dead until i saw the ob. in paper .DON'T let this happen

It doesn't always work. It takes two and when one of the two, or both, acts like a 3rd grader there's really nothing to gain but a lot of drama.

[DadsCharger00]

Let me get this straight.  He got the family farm & is pissed you bought a car to share with your old man.  He sounds like a spoiled brat.  He's prolly jealous you didn't buy him a car too.

It would have been everything in me to keep from bringing the fact up that he got the farm & you got squat into the conversation.

No he hasn't got the farm. My dad isn't passed yet.   He WON'T BE GETTING THE FARM EITHER.  The farm will be divided between us 4 kids. He will just get his part. Only thing I have a problem with is the fact that he and I are both executives on the estate.  That I don't like.  Interestingly enough when that happend I wasn't there.   HE WAS. I don't know. I know he's my blood and all but I just don't think I could reach out to him right now. Not sure I want to even talk to him for awhile. Just need to seperate myself from all this.  Need to get myself refocused.  I have way too much shit going on right now to worry about all this.  Just takes to much energy to focus on this . It just weares me down.  Bums me out. Just don't need this.  Think for now as sad as it sounds I'm om with this.  

[DadsCharger00]

Sometimes time and energy spend trying to mend fences with family is just a waste.  Spend your energy on and with people that make you happy.  Sharing DNA does not obligate you to a lifetime of drama.  It took me decades to figure that out, but I'm much happier now......

Feel like im on the same page here.  Before the argument when we hadn't talked for months I was doing pretty well with things. 

[2Gunz]

This is about money and what will happen when your father passes.

I watched my fathers family turn into a fucking three rind circus when his dad died.  And it was all about money..... Down to who paid for the flowers for his funeral......

People are weird.... and they get crazy weird when money gets involved.

Sorry to hear this is happening to you.