DEPRESSION,BLUES,DARK IDEAS,,,,PLEASE ASK AND GET HELP,SOON,PLEASE

[Paul G]

Wow DJ, I really don't know what to say? When I see people who live with the life situations that you were given, it makes me realize how blessed I am. That doesn't help you though does it?

I am going to tell you what helps me when I am lost. It is the Lord. Believe me I am not a religious man by any means. I have done my share of mis deeds, and regret... most of it, probably don't deserve the life I lead. But I am a believer in the Lord, he is there for us. A man needs to help himself first. The Lord wont do it all for us. The better path to take is sometimes not clear, cant be seen by us sometimes. But if we ask him to lead the way to a better life for us, amazingly the path will show itself. It has for me time an again. We don't walk this earth alone.

Best wishes to you my friend. I pray that you find a way to less pain, and a more fulfilling life.     

[Bobs69]

Wow DJ, I really don't know what to say? When I see people who live with the life situations that you were given, it makes me realize how blessed I am. That doesn't help you though does it?

I am going to tell you what helps me when I am lost. It is the Lord. Believe me I am not a religious man by any means. I have done my share of mis deeds, and regret... most of it, probably don't deserve the life I lead. But I am a believer in the Lord, he is there for us. A man needs to help himself first. The Lord wont do it all for us. The better path to take is sometimes not clear, cant be seen by us sometimes. But if we ask him to lead the way to a better life for us, amazingly the path will show itself. It has for me time an again. We don't walk this earth alone.

Best wishes to you my friend. I pray that you find a way to less pain, and a more fulfilling life.     

Not bad.  Not bad at all.  I agree for the most part.

[djcarguy]

I'm getting depressed because no one acknowledges my posts!

Howdy Bob,,i acknowledge your post.planned to reply last month .but was feeling the same an in the winter blahs an depression. did not feel sure i had any helpful ideas. then i did not post anything for a month,anywhere.  seems lots of the old posters here are taking breaks or else where??

        iam out west coast an should be glad,some sun an no hard winter.lots of fog an boredom.  what part of usa ya in or world??  hope ya doing better this month?   saw daytona today was good till that butt head won,haha.well heres hoping we all get some sun an lift in spirits from something healthy.



             trying to plan an look toward birth of granson an summer car fun. have to get my 67 belve ragtop out this summer been 12 yrs setting,owned 30 yrs this april.its blocked in garage with broke down 81 trans am.. time get going an fix me an some of my junk,,,,i guess..take care out there.DJ

[Dino]

I know it's a winter thread but I'm not doing so good.  I don't expect you guys to do anything about it, I just needed to share.  Life's been challenging lately to put it mildly.

I hope you're doing alright DJ!

[ACUDANUT]

Dino, drive you car. You'll feel better.

[Paul G]

I will say this; I saw something play out and go full circle this week at work. A couple of years ago, One of the guys was having a hard time at work. Our supervisor was not the easist man to work for. He did not know how to lift his men with guidance and teaching skills, he would belittle and berate people who were having a hard time.

So this guy I am referring to came to me, maybe just to vent, maybe to bounce his plan off of me. He was contemplating looking for another job. The Boss was really getting to him. This guy is basically un skilled, high school diploma only, but he has mechanical ability, we are in maintenance for a small utility company. My suggestion to him was to wait it out. I asked where else could he find a job that pays like this one, has the health insurance benefit like we get (it is a good plan), 401K with matching, paid time off, etc. This job provided good for his family.

These guys in this crew, the Boss and the workers, all went to the same high school, all the same race, (Nepotism?) they lived in the same town, went on hunting trips, family partys and stuff like that. which means there lives were intertwined more than what you would expect. So, for this guy having problems, I suggested to him he step back a little from the Boss. Dont be so friendly, just do his job to the best of his ability. But not be friends so much.

For the end of the story now. The Boss left the company last month. The foreman moved up to supervisor, this guy I am talking about got the foreman job.

I guess what the moral is, when times get tough just step back a little, concetrate on what is important, and as time moves forward life always gets better. It does.  

[Bobs69]

Wow DJ, I really don't know what to say? When I see people who live with the life situations that you were given, it makes me realize how blessed I am. That doesn't help you though does it?

I am going to tell you what helps me when I am lost. It is the Lord. Believe me I am not a religious man by any means. I have done my share of mis deeds, and regret... most of it, probably don't deserve the life I lead. But I am a believer in the Lord, he is there for us. A man needs to help himself first. The Lord wont do it all for us. The better path to take is sometimes not clear, cant be seen by us sometimes. But if we ask him to lead the way to a better life for us, amazingly the path will show itself. It has for me time an again. We don't walk this earth alone.

Best wishes to you my friend. I pray that you find a way to less pain, and a more fulfilling life.     

Not bad.  Not bad at all.  I agree for the most part.

"Ditto."

I to have been suffering.  I like the poem "foot steps" they usually hand out at funerals.

Throughout my life on at least three occasions something bigger then myself has carried me and taken my load.  It's been a long time, but on those occasions I know I was being helped.

Not sure what to tell you.  It's a battle every day.

[djcarguy]

I know it's a winter thread but I'm not doing so good.  I don't expect you guys to do anything about it, I just needed to share.  Life's been challenging lately to put it mildly.

I hope you're doing alright DJ!

[Dino]

Hang in there guys, I'm doing my very best to do just that as well.

7 weeks after losing our cat Watson, his buddy Charlie had to have surgery today today to remove a mass.  They found a second mass and enlarged lymph nodes.  Charlie is doing well but he may not be around for much longer and the thought of it is sometimes a bit much to take.  They are only 10 years old.

I've had more things go wrong in the last 2 months than in the previous 5 years and I have to admit I have a hard time coping.  I know things will get better in the long run, but right now I feel pretty miserable.

I fell into a pretty bad depression and I'm using all my might to pull myself out of it.  I long for the day where I can smile again.

[Bobs69]

I'm getting depressed because no one acknowledges my posts!

Howdy Bob,,i acknowledge your post.planned to reply last month .but was feeling the same an in the winter blahs an depression. did not feel sure i had any helpful ideas. then i did not post anything for a month,anywhere.  seems lots of the old posters here are taking breaks or else where??

        iam out west coast an should be glad,some sun an no hard winter.lots of fog an boredom.  what part of usa ya in or world??  hope ya doing better this month?   saw daytona today was good till that butt head won,haha.well heres hoping we all get some sun an lift in spirits from something healthy.



             trying to plan an look toward birth of granson an summer car fun. have to get my 67 belve ragtop out this summer been 12 yrs setting,owned 30 yrs this april.its blocked in garage with broke down 81 trans am.. time get going an fix me an some of my junk,,,,i guess..take care out there.DJ

Thanks for asking.  I'm in Ontario Canada.  I fell like a salmon, two steps forward, one back. 

[djcarguy]

 

[myk]

Hang in there guys, I'm doing my very best to do just that as well.

7 weeks after losing our cat Watson, his buddy Charlie had to have surgery today today to remove a mass.  They found a second mass and enlarged lymph nodes.  Charlie is doing well but he may not be around for much longer and the thought of it is sometimes a bit much to take.  They are only 10 years old.

I've had more things go wrong in the last 2 months than in the previous 5 years and I have to admit I have a hard time coping.  I know things will get better in the long run, but right now I feel pretty miserable.

I fell into a pretty bad depression and I'm using all my might to pull myself out of it.  I long for the day where I can smile again.

It may not work for others, it doesn't even make sense to me, but I take all of the priceless, joyful moments that I remember experiencing with my departed loved ones and I hold on to them like a blanket, and I go over them in my head like a rosary.  We're usually so overwhelmed with grief, so I try and mix the good memories with the bad memories, or the experience of losing someone close.  In a way I sort of feel as if the loss is just a reminder to celebrate the joy and life we shared, and in that way our loved ones and our memories of them are immortalized.  Whatever we do, we can't forget...

[Dino]

That's all we can do I suppose.  Being in healthcare I can rationalize these things pretty good, but when several bad things happen in succession, it becomes hard to even think straight.

[resq302]

Oh, I totally agree, Dino.  Working in law enforcement it is kind of the same way.  You only hear and see prominently bad things that either are acted towards you or happen to other people.  Fires, burglaries, sudden death, suicide, etc.  It all takes its toll.  But then you do have some good days where you get a 3 yr old who was unconscious and not breathing brought back to life by giving CPR over the phone to the mother even before the patrol cars or EMS get there.  One word comes to mind with that...... PRICELESS !   

[71ChallengeHer]

Hang in there guys, I'm doing my very best to do just that as well.

7 weeks after losing our cat Watson, his buddy Charlie had to have surgery today today to remove a mass.  They found a second mass and enlarged lymph nodes.  Charlie is doing well but he may not be around for much longer and the thought of it is sometimes a bit much to take.  They are only 10 years old.

I've had more things go wrong in the last 2 months than in the previous 5 years and I have to admit I have a hard time coping.  I know things will get better in the long run, but right now I feel pretty miserable.

I fell into a pretty bad depression and I'm using all my might to pull myself out of it.  I long for the day where I can smile again.

if you need to talk Dino, you can message me. We adopted my dear Aunt Gwen's little Manx Arielle, 3 years ago. My aunt passed unexpected on Christmas. And Arielle has been a blessing to our house. I took her to the vet for what I thought was an absess on her chin. She weighed a little over 6 lbs last year. And she was down to 5 lbs. The vet wanted to run tests on her. She had thyroid disease and is in kidney failure. I cried my eyes out. It hasn't been that long since we lost Shelby's cat from the same issues. It just breaks my break heart. Our little fur babies become a part of our family. Hugs, Jackie

[Bobs69]

I made a huge decision months back.  I quite my job of 14+ years and went back to school for a law enforcement job.  Then I got stationed away from home.  I knew that was the chance I was taking.

I couldn't stand listening to myself bitch all the time about the job I had.  Even tho it paid good and gave me a pension, it just wasn't good enough.  I worked with a bunch of people I couldn't stand, I'd never have the assholes over for a BBQ.  It got to the point where I wasn't enjoying my time off and I was always in a bad mood.  My wife and I knew it would be hard, but so is getting up and going to a job you hate everyday, then bringing that home with you.

I made the right decision for the long run, but now I'm working my plan and it's tuff.  Learning curve is steep, I'm renting a very small place, in a smaller town, and I don't know anyone well enough to hang out with.  So, I'm hoping my gamble will pay off.  If so I'll be sitting pretty when I get back home (financially).

[ACUDANUT]

 After 23 years of Law Enforcement, I'm glad it's over.  Good luck.

[Paul G]

Something to consider. I started at the company I now work for 6 years ago. The fella I worked most closely with started out kind of ok, then got worse. It got the point that I really could not stand being around him anymore. Reasons to numerous to mention. I had to make the decision to look for another job, or do something to make life better. I decided to go out of my way to make this awful person miserable, more miserable than he was making me. There is a lot you can do when you put your mind to it. Passive aggressive behavior works, so does the silent treatment. What worked best was acting like him, to him. He hated it. When a person can dish it out but cant take it, you found your answer. He finally decided to quit, he retired actually. Just as I started to enjoy going to work. The other guys told me that no one has ever stood up to him before. He picked on everyone. To him it was fun, not so much for the others.

It might be have been a terrible thing to do to someone, how I treated him. But it was nothing he didnt do to others. So there you go. 

[Dino]

Hang in there guys, I'm doing my very best to do just that as well.

7 weeks after losing our cat Watson, his buddy Charlie had to have surgery today today to remove a mass.  They found a second mass and enlarged lymph nodes.  Charlie is doing well but he may not be around for much longer and the thought of it is sometimes a bit much to take.  They are only 10 years old.

I've had more things go wrong in the last 2 months than in the previous 5 years and I have to admit I have a hard time coping.  I know things will get better in the long run, but right now I feel pretty miserable.

I fell into a pretty bad depression and I'm using all my might to pull myself out of it.  I long for the day where I can smile again.

if you need to talk Dino, you can message me. We adopted my dear Aunt Gwen's little Manx Arielle, 3 years ago. My aunt passed unexpected on Christmas. And Arielle has been a blessing to our house. I took her to the vet for what I thought was an absess on her chin. She weighed a little over 6 lbs last year. And she was down to 5 lbs. The vet wanted to run tests on her. She had thyroid disease and is in kidney failure. I cried my eyes out. It hasn't been that long since we lost Shelby's cat from the same issues. It just breaks my break heart. Our little fur babies become a part of our family. Hugs, Jackie

I missed this post, didn't get notification again.

Thanks Jackie, I'll be alright but the same goes for you, message me if you want to talk.

Charlie had one chemo treatment but it made him so sick for days on end that we decided not to treat him any further.  We have him on mild medication to prevent him from suffering so it's purely comfort care from now on..  I don't know how long he'll be with us so every day is a gift.  If it turns and je gets sick again we will not let him suffer.  It truly is heartbreaking.  These fuzzballs become family, the kind you actually like.   

I'm truly sorry to hear about your loss, the pain is so intense that sometimes it's hard to function.  I miss Watson every single day and I'm crying my eyes out just typing this.  He was my buddy and I'll never be able to hold him again.

[skip68]

It's amazing how much love develops between us and our pets.  They truly do become a family member.     

[Bobs69]

Something to consider. I started at the company I now work for 6 years ago. The fella I worked most closely with started out kind of ok, then got worse. It got the point that I really could not stand being around him anymore. Reasons to numerous to mention. I had to make the decision to look for another job, or do something to make life better. I decided to go out of my way to make this awful person miserable, more miserable than he was making me. There is a lot you can do when you put your mind to it. Passive aggressive behavior works, so does the silent treatment. What worked best was acting like him, to him. He hated it. When a person can dish it out but cant take it, you found your answer. He finally decided to quit, he retired actually. Just as I started to enjoy going to work. The other guys told me that no one has ever stood up to him before. He picked on everyone. To him it was fun, not so much for the others.

It might be have been a terrible thing to do to someone, how I treated him. But it was nothing he didnt do to others. So there you go. 

I had done that too.  Acting like him, even treated him as family to put as much stress as possible in him.  It was stressful, yet enjoyable.  Not sure I'd put the same energy into an asshole like that again.  Depends.  Problem is hee learned from me.  Once I realized that I stopped challenging him.

[Bobs69]

My wife had to put our dog to sleep today.  That's all I can say at the moment, the pain is excruciating.

[ACUDANUT]

That really sucks. We are all going there someday. Live for today.

[472 R/T SE]

Spring came & went, summer's about over.  Unfortunately I haven't been able to shake the winter doldrums.  

The Dr. put me on a new anti depressant, been on it since Tuesday.  My brain's mush.     Fetzima, supposedly for major depression.  







Most likely only a short term fix but an old work buddy came over today.  I haven't seen him since running into him at a car show I was in.  Before that was when I left dispatch around '04.  He was the hardest worker I've ever had the opportunity to work with.  No sloucher.

But we got to talking about old times...for about 4 hours.     It was gratifying to hear how a couple oilers have blew up the planetaries in my old ( not really, I got it new ) crane.  I never tore up any kind of drivetrain while I worked there & I've had cranes in some pretty intense situations.   I told him as well but the more he talked the better I felt about myself & how I was able to maneuver & navigate the toughest of jobsites.
First rule of thumb, if you're under throttle with one of those big bitches & you're crawling along & all of a sudden stop or even hear the motor start to wind up, nail the brakes to get that axle to stop spinning.  When the axle is freewheeling it's prolly doing at least 20-30 mph & all of a sudden half a million pounds come in contact with sticky ground, something's gonna snap.

Of course the cool, easy, feel good about myself isn't permanent.  I'm still pretty proud of myself.



Now our Golden Retriever is acting weird.  Almost like his mid section is hurting.  He's eating & drinking like normal so we're keeping any eye on him.
After reading these posts & now our little pupster is acting up I told the wife that maybe owning pets isn't such a good idea seeings how we I'll never be prepared for saying good bye.
She just shook her head & rolled her eyes.  
My wife thinks it's special that her husband likes cats.  

[djcarguy]

  My car guy uncle passed last week ,memorial the 5th 5 hrs away. we have done car hunts an buys together for decade,back to the 70es,when i was a teen. did not even get word he was back in hospital.'
   sunday pulled or pinched my back with days of pain this week .few days real low missing my sons an popping pills for pain .stuck in my chair with my mind going to dark places an ideas. got out side an had a better day.


hay 472RT SE new meds can bee hell,never been on the one ya said. have 19 yrs on an off 6-8 diff meds.off meds for summer again as i feel i get more done an can ,,,,think i do good in summer???  but shorter days an summer stuff ends tomorrow here,our friday nite show..


     YA ALL TAKE CARE AN HOLD ON..   LATTTTTTTTTTERERERERER DJ