Working for an ass, Funny story.

[Cooter]

No big secret I have to be working for the biggest, Arrogant, pompass, Biggoted, racist, ass on the planet. (Well, most of it anyway)...
I'm at work this evening, and the new guy we hired has a brand X 1984 Camaro Z/28. Typical 355 C.I. Auto, Posi rear. Well, he sees the Chally's engine on the stand and of course here comes the bench racing session I figure. He simply asks me about it and I explain it's "Junk". Nothing but a "Junk" 440 I threw together with spare junk, and I'd be lucky to turn the tires over in 1st gear. He laughs it off and begins with the typical "Nah, I saw those pistons/rods/intake/etc."....

Well, the boss decides to get away from Circle track racing and begin to drag race his brand X Mercury, Fox body, Cougar with a 331 in it. Of course, here comes the sh*t talking..I have to hear him "Exclaim" to every customer how he went "Too fast" and broke out, or how he "Almost" pulled the front wheels up.....
I told myself "ok, I'll bite" and asked what it ran. "8.40's"(8th mile) was the reply. I stated that wasn't too shabby for a 3600 LB car. He begins in with the incorrect reading of the title weight and replies with  "Oh no, it "only" weighs 2900. It ain't heavy like dem Mopars are"....

Hmmm, by this time I've bout had enough. I bite the tongue and refuse to open pandora's box by trying to tell him anything.

So, Every morning I have to hear this thing fire up sounding like some dirt track car with open exhaust that isn't like open headers, more like 3" pipe dumping at the rearend. LOUD isn't the word for this thing. Of course, he just has to back out in the lot and "Do a burnout" across the lot, then commence to tell everybody that hears it how "Badass" it "Really" is. To coin a phrase from the 80's, "Gag me with a spoon"....

Well, in amongst this Bull dookie, I see the new guy "Brian"(Nice guy. Real Christian type) coming my way and asks me why does "The boss" do that to a cold engine that early in the morning?"
I reply something like "When that's all the joy you have in life is making a bunch of racket, with your car, you go with it I guess"...

So, Brian asks me if I'm gonna remain there this evening to work on the Challenger, I stated "yes". He claims he wants me to "Look at something that happened the last time he was at the Track".. So, he raises the car up on the lift and shows me a broken mount where the lift bars in the rear go around the rearend ona brand X car. I stated, "Looks like metal fatigue to me". He claims it happened the last time he ran it cause it "Hooked so good". Whatever, maybe.

Bout that time, I ask "So what did it run?" Here comes "Billy Badass" himself talking sh*t. "Oh, I'm sure it was from "Hooking" too hard that broke that! I mean, you got a dumptruck cam in this thing. Just how much power do you really think it's making there Hoss?"

Well, what happened next was pure D Classic. Brian tells me he ran between 8.0's and 8.20's last time out. Looks at the boss and says "Pretty good for a dumptruck motor huh?"
The boss says something like "I think there's a little Embelishment going on with the timeslips"...


Brian opens his glove box and pulls out a slew of timeslips and NONE of 'em were over 8.26(8th mile), @ 93 MPH with a 1.6 60 Ft time. I bout sh*t.
Course, the bosses eyes got bout big as dinner plates and never said another word.
Tonight when he was pulling his Cougar inside for the night he made a reference to a couple Nitrous kits he has laying around.......Me and Brian just laughed, as Brian's Camaro has about the sh*ttiest "Y" pipe made out of like 1 3/4" pipes. I think if he gets the exhaust lined out, and a good Stall converter, he's gonna be deep in the 7's on the motor....That oughta take the wind outta that arrogant SOB's sails.

[AKcharger]

Your boss is worse than hitler!

[resq302]

Thats great Cooter.  I laughed my ass off!   Be funny to see your fellow employee go up against your boss at the track.  A little put up or shut up match.

[nvrbdn]

  :smilielol:good for brian. tell it and back it up.

[69rtse4spd]

 .Theres one in every crowd, till you back it up. Boss vs employees grudge night sounds like a good idea. Might also be a good way to raise some money for charity. .

[71ChallengeHer]

.Theres one in every crowd, till you back it up. Boss vs employees grudge night sounds like a good idea. Might also be a good way to raise some money for charity. .

[Cooter]

Thats great Cooter.  I laughed my ass off!   Be funny to see your fellow employee go up against your boss at the track.  A little put up or shut up match.

Funny you mention it...Brian kinda keeps asking the Boss(I refuse to post his name here for fear of him reading this as he's kinda one of those paranoid skitzo freaks that just knows he's rude, obnoxious, and generally talks too much sh*t and is waiting for someone to "Pay him a visit" sooner or later) about when he's gonna be at the track next. Boss doesn't talk a whole latta sh*t to me as he knows My Dart is quicker, but Brian is the new guy and isn't a sh*t talker persay, so he decides Like a Lion stalking the weak prey, to just pound on the guy. I commend Brian and have been coaching him on how to deal with him. He's doing really well by just shutting him down with facts and no BS. He had the car in the bay the other evening and I noticed his carb was WAYY lean and decided to help it out a little. He came in yesterday and said it runs better. Woo Hoo, I usually am "Fair" at tuning carbs with no adjustable bleeds and such. I have decided to help him get a 3" exhaust on it and try installing subframe connectors. You know, just kinda creep up on the high 7's. Then, we'll just show up one weekend and bust his ass in front of all the guys he's talked so much sh*t to. Never mention it again as once you crush someone, that is all that needs to be said. I explained this to Brian. No matter how badly you WANT to pound on him, you have to let his own ego take over and eat at him till he can't stand it.

[JB400]

You know, you could put up a $100 bill.  Get your helpers's car up to its full potential and post a hundred dollar bill to the winner.  Your boss will either run or shut up.  If he doesn't run, he'll give some sissy excuse.  It'd be good for a couple laughs.  Plus, it'd earn a little respect for the new guy.

[RIDELIKEHELL]

Damn Cooter that was some great Thursday morning entertainment! lmao is right! These guys are everywhere