A visit to the IRS.

[472 R/T SE]

Dennis arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit accompanied by another man.
Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it appears that you live at
a much higher level than your reported income. How do you explain that?"
Dennis replied, "I love to gamble and I always win."

The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look.
"I can prove it," said Dennis. "How about a demonstration?"

The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Dennis said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!"
Dennis removed his glass eye and bit it.

The official's jaw dropped. Dennis said, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that
I can bite my other eye."
The official could tell Dennis wasn't blind, so he took the bet.

Dennis then removed his dentures and bit his good eye.
The stunned official was now three grand in the hole!

"Want to go double or nothing?" Dennis asked. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that
I can stand on your desk and piss into that wastebasket by the door over there and
never get a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no way this guy could
manage that stunt, so he agreed again!
Dennis climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the wastebasket completely, and
pretty much got pee all over the desk.
The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a huge win! But then he
noticed that Dennis's friend looked ashen and was visibly shaking. "Are you okay?"
he asked.
The man replied, "Not really. Yesterday Dennis bet me twenty thousand dollars he'd
piss on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"

[Old Moparz]

 

[472 R/T SE]

I had to get a set of cats to rock out with you Bob.   My little girl get's a kick out of seeing them.

[Silver R/T]

lmao

[Charger_Fan]

I heard that same one, but it was a bar joke...the guy hosed down the whole bar.

Still good, though.

[Old Moparz]

I had to get a set of cats to rock out with you Bob.   My little girl get's a kick out of seeing them.

That's funny, I just saved your cat pic so my daughter can see it. She's a cat lover & has a picture folder in the computer full of them. 

[Blue Pentastar]

That's funny right there. We have all wanted to do that and get away with it. Do you think that would work.

[Brock Samson]

I bet you five bucks it would... 

[ChargerRob]