Marriage status Poll

[rooks]

34 voters had their spouse in the same room when they read this thread!

hahaha  sorry 

[Tilar]

while some of you out there are running around with a bunch of 20-year-olds who only want a good time and cheap sex sex sex. Girls who can't say no. Girls who can't get enough. "More, more, more. It's your turn now to wear the handcuffs... "

It's a tough life but somebody has to do it... Not saying that I'm the one doing it, I'm just saying someone has to. 

[nvrbdn]

went to church one sunday, and the preacher was talking about marriage. he said.... if you will do every day of your marriage what you did every day in order to get married, you will stay happily married. it makes sense as long as both parties believe in that.

[ITSA426]

twodko I'm very sorry to hear about your wife. 

I wasn't going to get in on this thread.  There isn't a spot on the poll for widowed and remarried.  Been there - done that.  It will really, really change your perspective about life's piddly little problems.  Marriage isn't for the faint of heart but it can be all you want in life if you're willing to work at it and put your partner's needs ahead of your own.  Most of the divorced people I know said, much later, they could have made it work.  It's interesting where I am now to see how different my life turned out than any of my plans. 

[Highbanked Hauler]

 I just had to do the math, we will have been married 39 years this Oct.  The idea of a 50-50 marriage is bullshit. I have seen times of 95-5 and the other way around. Somebody correct me if I am wrong but I think (tolerance) has a lot to do with staying married. Granted some marriages  are not meant to be.

[RallyeMike]

One time here, since 1989.

So far lessons learned:

1. Never, never, but ever say the first thing that comes to mind.

2. Listen, but if you just can't, at the very least look like you are paying attention by nodding occasionally.

3. Field all phone calls from your mom.

4. Maintain a sense of humor.

[Fred]

Damn Fred, that was well said.  "We don't own each other just love each other" 

Why thankyou skip..................there's more to me than just good looks.

[Charger_Dart]

Married my soul mate 16 years ago and could not be happier today. She and my daughter mean the world to me. 

[69finder]

The hardest thing in our marriage had been other people (my dad, my mom, my sis in law).  Once all those people were basically far removed, it made things soo much easier and happier!

Married 10 years.  I love her, sometimes things are not easy but I can't imagine life without her.  Really, I can't because I can't remember where I put my keys, any of my account information, ANYTHING!  Actually it's easier this way

[Dino]

Met in 2004, left my country and married in 2007, haven't had a sliver of regret and never looked back.  My wife means the world to me, nothing else really matters.  The charger is a part of me but it's still just a car.  She'll never tell me or even ask me to sell it, she'd sell her own car first.  However if something does happen where we need cash fast, I'll mope for a minute and put my car up for sale.  You need to set your priorities and if your car means more to you than your wife, you may want to rethink what you're doing.

We do share a lot of interest but we do have our own hobbies as well.  She let's me do my thing while I let her do her thing and that's how it's supposed to be.  If you can't be yourself in marriage then it will fail.  I know people who have to act their way through life and I'd rather be hit over the head with a sledgehammer.

[1969chargerrtse]

Wow talk about posting your dirty laundry. Let's see, 20 years and we still get along well. 2 teen kids have put lots of stress on us and the 8 year old surprise child has given us the drive to hang in there. Yep. Things change as you get older but on both sides. Hope we make 20 more. Kids really test a marriage that I can say for sure.

[1970Moparmann]

Overall, this is really good results.  I am kind of shocked, but this is why I put this out here.   

[Highbanked Hauler]

Wow talk about posting your dirty laundry. Let's see, 20 years and we still get along well. 2 teen kids have put lots of stress on us and the the 8 year old surprise child has given us the drive to hang in there. Yep. Things change as you get older but on both sides. Hope we make 20 more. Kids really test a marriage that I can say for sure.

   Teenagers can raise hell with even a good marriage. We are living proof of that.

[1969chargerrtse]

Wow talk about posting your dirty laundry. Let's see, 20 years and we still get along well. 2 teen kids have put lots of stress on us and the the 8 year old surprise child has given us the drive to hang in there. Yep. Things change as you get older but on both sides. Hope we make 20 more. Kids really test a marriage that I can say for sure.

   Teenagers can raise hell with even a good marriage. We are living proof of that.

Next big thig will be how they both are ready for college in 2 years.  If the thought is I have to sell the Charger, there's gonna be problems.

[ITSA426]

Put step-kids into the mix just to make it interesting. 

Best phrase I had for my son when he finished college - "I love you but you're leaving".   

[Just 6T9 CHGR]

Next big thig will be how they both are ready for college in 2 years.  If the thought is I have to sell the Charger, there's gonna be problems.

Sadly Rob, selling the Charger MIGHT get you a semesters worth of tuition these days.....doing the college tour thing now with my oldest.... 

[bull]

The hardest thing in our marriage had been other people (my dad, my mom, my sis in law).  Once all those people were basically far removed, it made things soo much easier and happier!

My wife and I have talked about this on several occasions and we came to the conclusion that shortly after the wedding we should have moved away from all of our family (like 1,000+ miles) and gotten ourselves established as a couple before slowly reintroducing any extended family into the circle. That is one of many pieces of advice I will give anyone who's about to get married. It's not always feasible to do it but it's a really good plan.

Anyway, my wife and I have been married almost 18 years and it's been great. Not without problems of course but I think the best thing you can remember as a married couple is to just stay calm and remember than no one is perfect. Don't create drama, don't make mountains out of molehills, don't blow things out of proportion; and basically, don't sacrifice the relationship to prove that your opinion is the right one. Everyone has great qualities and everyone has annoying qualities but it's not our job to fix everyone and bend their will to ours. Enjoy the good in people and do your best to ignore the bad. Well, as long as they're not trying to murder you.

[PocketThunder]

My wife and I have talked about this on several occasions and we came to the conclusion that shortly after the wedding we should have moved away from all of our family (like 1,000+ miles) and gotten ourselves established as a couple before slowly reintroducing any extended family into the circle. That is one of many pieces of advice I will give anyone who's about to get married. It's not always feasible to do it but it's a really good plan.

Damn right Curtis!  You are marrying a woman, not a woman and her mom......

The secret to a happy marriage..... as told to me by the old guy at work when i was enguaged, is "two checkbooks and two tv's, one upstairs and one downstairs".  And after 11 years of marriage these words couldnt be closer to the truth.  Another thing i've learned over the years is that your single friends will ask you what its like to be married and you tell them and they look at you like a deer in the headlights... 

[Slotts]

 

[71ChallengeHer]

Anna and I just tripped 23 years of marital bliss on the 6th.     

Happy Anniversary to you and Anna. See you at Carlisle ?

[dads_69]

Bull (Curtis) great words spoken from you my friend. I'm taking every word you just typed to the bank and wow. Congratulations buddy, happy for you both!

Mark

[General_01]

My wife and I have talked about this on several occasions and we came to the conclusion that shortly after the wedding we should have moved away from all of our family (like 1,000+ miles) and gotten ourselves established as a couple before slowly reintroducing any extended family into the circle. That is one of many pieces of advice I will give anyone who's about to get married. It's not always feasible to do it but it's a really good plan.

Damn right Curtis!  You are marrying a woman, not a woman and her mom......

The secret to a happy marriage..... as told to me by the old guy at work when i was enguaged, is "two checkbooks and two tv's, one upstairs and one downstairs".  And after 11 years of marriage these words couldnt be closer to the truth.  Another thing i've learned over the years is that your single friends will ask you what its like to be married and you tell them and they look at you like a deer in the headlights... 

Not neccessasarily true. The true key is that you and your wife have to be committed to each other and agree that you two (and kids as they come) come first. My wife and I had to make this point to her parents after we married. They had a small woodcraft business and would do craft shows at malls. After we got married, they would call to tell my wife what time she needed to be at the mall to help unload and the hours of the shows so she would know when she needed to be there. No asking. Just telling and expecting.  

I started making out of town plans every weekend a show would come and she would tell them we were busy. They ended up hiring neighbor kids to help and everything was fine after that.

Her brother on the other hand has done it both ways. Married a divorced women and moved out of town. They got divorced. Moved back to town, dated a women for 7 years, got married and bought a house 1/2 mile from the parents. They got divorced within 3 years. Then met a Chinese woman on the internet, got her over here, married and is now divorced a third time. He is 46.

As far as the two checkbook thing goes I have never seen that work. My younger sister and her husband did it and they are divorced. Money issues (him hiding it and using it to buy toys for himself while my parents would pay for their kids to do extracurricular activities because he wouldn't pay for it) as well as other issues. We have one checking account and one savings account together. I guess my feeling is that if I need to hide money from my wife to do the things I want, I didn't marry the right woman and vice versa.

[hatersaurusrex]

One word:  Prenup.

[dads_69]

Prenup?

[Fred]

My wife and I have talked about this on several occasions and we came to the conclusion that shortly after the wedding we should have moved away from all of our family (like 1,000+ miles) and gotten ourselves established as a couple before slowly reintroducing any extended family into the circle. That is one of many pieces of advice I will give anyone who's about to get married. It's not always feasible to do it but it's a really good plan.

Damn right Curtis!  You are marrying a woman, not a woman and her mom......

The secret to a happy marriage..... as told to me by the old guy at work when i was enguaged, is "two checkbooks and two tv's, one upstairs and one downstairs".  And after 11 years of marriage these words couldnt be closer to the truth.  Another thing i've learned over the years is that your single friends will ask you what its like to be married and you tell them and they look at you like a deer in the headlights...  

Not neccessasarily true.
As far as the two checkbook thing goes I have never seen that work.
We have one checking account and one savings account together. I guess my feeling is that if I need to hide money from my wife to do the things I want, I didn't marry the right woman and vice versa.

Same here, as a matter of fact, my wife takes care of all the finances (and has ever since we first moved in together) and I trust her completely.