Well he wants a divorce......

[Wheels of Terror]

I really love him and respect him so I would never say anything negative. We aren't even fighting. I am moving out and he gets the house. I lost what I wanted. Him. Money and possesions mean nothing. I have a full time good job. A place to live is replaceable.

[Ponch ®]

I really love him and respect him so I would never say anything negative.

Dont mean to be flippant, but evidently that was a one way street.

Sometimes you gotta take the low road. Bash away.

[69finder]

Take the house, take the money and the cars.  And go on your OWN cruise!

Love yourself first.  Respect yourself first.  Take care of yourself first.  He's gone, so why be nice?  What possible reason would you have to let him keep anything especially since he cheated on you?

Sorry gotta call it the way it is.  Call a lawyer, they'll take care of the 'getting the hate on for the ex part!'.   I don't sense any anger from you at all and honestly, that's not good.

He walked over you and it's ok?  It's good to let go and not hold resentment but maybe you've already move through the 7 steps?  I get stuck in the 'anger' phase pretty long so sorry if I am PROJECTING

Damn, I feel ANGRY FOR YOU!!!! Don't 'reward' his crappy behaviour, put the hurt to him!   Ok, I feel better.  I hope you do too.

[ACUDANUT]

I learned a long time ago, you can't make someone love you.  Your a Woman...= 10 times easlier to find another.

[Wheels of Terror]

Well I am upset and I am taking four of the cars. One might have to be sold but its a down payment on a house. He had the house eight months prior to me moving in.

[ACUDANUT]

I learned a long time ago, you can't make someone love you.  Your a Woman...= 10 times easlier to find another.

just think about what I said.  He wants out..Make him pay and lose everything.

[Budnicks]

Well I am upset and I am taking four of the cars. One might have to be sold but its a down payment on a house. He had the house eight months prior to me moving in.

You don't have to hate the guy, but you should get what you have helped to earn, you don't have to take the guy to the cleaners, that's not good for either of you, it can still be civil, but get what your due, don't completely roll over & let the situation be all consuming... Keep your chin up, you sound like a "nice person/woman", don't let that be your downfall/demise, stand up for yourself... There are plenty of "good men" out there, that will be willing to love you with all their heart, mind & body...

[440]

Staying with him or taking him back is only setting yourself up for more disappointment and hurt further down the track. I'd move on and find someone who truly loves you and respects you.

[Wheels of Terror]

Be has her on his phone wallpaper. 

[71ChallengeHer]

Be has her on his phone wallpaper. 

Get a damn good lawyer. A woman lawyer will tear him up.

[nvrbdn]

i agree, body slam the p$%@? and move on with a smirk on your face. that isnt hate, thats just rewards.

[1970Moparmann]

I'm sure he is trying to justify his decision.  The funny thing is, he will do it to her in the future.   At that point, you'll have a smile on your face and he will be known as "Dumb Ass".

[twodko]

This'll buff right out.

[mrsskip68]

Kick him to the curb, then burn out in his face! 
Lisa

[69 OUR/TEA]

You sound like a real nice person,he's not good enough for YOU !!!! Remember this,if he did it to you,he'll do it to the next one,time to move on.

[red69superbee]

My wife divorced me cause she liked someone better that shw worked with, yeah, its upsetting but ya cant make them love or want you if he doesnt want any of that.....Sorry , its time to move on.

[Indygenerallee]

You stated you really "respect him" ?!?!?  What? If I screwed around on my wife I would probably be beat to death, This guy is a low life scum bottom feeder, he had NO RESPECT for YOU! Don't take anything less than the best, keep looking and I know someone will come along, My first wife was a liar and screwed around on me and we had 2 children just thank God you don't have kids in the mix that is a true torture I would not wish on my worst enemy!! Keep your head up and go for everything the cheater has might teach him a lesson to keep his to himself!! (or maybe not) 

[Alaskan_TA]

Married once, I was in love.

Evidently she was not, she was living with her boyfriend before a year had passed.

We split with what we brought in, no lawyer, nothing vindictive.

It would be tough to persecute someone you once loved just 'because'. Love does not always go away just because the person you loved did.

Be sensible, follow your heart but know when to let go & move on. A new love awaits, somewhere...............

[doctor4766]

Take the house, take the money and the cars.  And go on your OWN cruise!

Love yourself first.  Respect yourself first.  Take care of yourself first.  He's gone, so why be nice?  What possible reason would you have to let him keep anything especially since he cheated on you?

Sorry gotta call it the way it is.  Call a lawyer, they'll take care of the 'getting the hate on for the ex part!'.   I don't sense any anger from you at all and honestly, that's not good.

He walked over you and it's ok?  It's good to let go and not hold resentment but maybe you've already move through the 7 steps?  I get stuck in the 'anger' phase pretty long so sorry if I am PROJECTING

Damn, I feel ANGRY FOR YOU!!!! Don't 'reward' his crappy behaviour, put the hurt to him!   Ok, I feel better.  I hope you do too.

No disrepect to the lady here, but do you really mean that?
So many of us guys have been on the receiving end of that type of thing and we tell the world that the system is NOT fair and is usually swayed towards the women.
My personal opinion is to split the shared assetts 50/50 irrespective of who may have cheated on who.
People grow apart over time and sometimes it takes meeting another person who seems to be more desireable to make one partner see (read Think) that they'd be better off with them, instead of their current husband/wife.
Eventually the partner who's been dumped will realise that there is life after marriage and will move on.
It's when one partner gets severely screwed over financially that it sucks.
50/50 all the way as far as I'm concerned.

[Mike DC]

I agree.  Self-respect is one thing, unnecessary animosity is something else.  If you can get out of this without the latter then you will be better off in the long run.  It's just more negativity in your life.   

But just make sure you aren't shortchanging yourself on the self-respect.  Maybe your relationship wasn't perfect but it does not excuse someone cheating on you.

[doctor4766]

Maybe your relationship wasn't perfect but it does not excuse someone cheating on you.

Amen.

That happened to me, and possibly the worst part was that it was with one of my so called "friends".
I was lucky that my ex wife must have had some sort of guilt complex and didnt pursue more than her half.
Mind you, I had half the kids so she would have only been screwing them over too....

[64dartgt]

Thats the thing, I have aot of other interests too. I can go from working on the car to dressed up with make up on a half hour later. Then ready to go out. i'm proud of being a woman so its not like I'm butchy.
[/quote]

I could PUSH my 73 Charger to the end of a quarter mile strip before MINE would be ready to go out!   

[Fred]

Take the house, take the money and the cars.  And go on your OWN cruise!

Love yourself first.  Respect yourself first.  Take care of yourself first.  He's gone, so why be nice?  What possible reason would you have to let him keep anything especially since he cheated on you?

Sorry gotta call it the way it is.  Call a lawyer, they'll take care of the 'getting the hate on for the ex part!'.   I don't sense any anger from you at all and honestly, that's not good.

He walked over you and it's ok?  It's good to let go and not hold resentment but maybe you've already move through the 7 steps?  I get stuck in the 'anger' phase pretty long so sorry if I am PROJECTING

Damn, I feel ANGRY FOR YOU!!!! Don't 'reward' his crappy behaviour, put the hurt to him!   Ok, I feel better.  I hope you do too.

No disrepect to the lady here, but do you really mean that?
So many of us guys have been on the receiving end of that type of thing and we tell the world that the system is NOT fair and is usually swayed towards the women.
My personal opinion is to split the shared assetts 50/50 irrespective of who may have cheated on who.
People grow apart over time and sometimes it takes meeting another person who seems to be more desireable to make one partner see (read Think) that they'd be better off with them, instead of their current husband/wife.
Eventually the partner who's been dumped will realise that there is life after marriage and will move on.
It's when one partner gets severely screwed over financially that it sucks.
50/50 all the way as far as I'm concerned.

I'm with you 1oo% on that score. Fair's fair.  You each should come away with your share.

[69finder]

You may like/respect him, but what about the other woman?  If he cheated on you, he will cheat on her.  If they do get married, guess where your stuff is going to wind up?  'The other woman.'

Basically you're not giving him anything.   You're just putting it on hold for her.

I agree with 'fair is fair'.  But in the 'real' world this type of thing never really ends well.  It might end well ... for now.  But down the road? 

[Fred]

I know I've said this before in another thread but my first marriage only lasted 2 years (big mistake on my part) and I came away with nothing. She got absolutely everything. The good thing was we were only renting at the time so at least I didn't have any money tied up in the house. I had to start from scatch..........hardly fair when you consider that fact that she contributed nothing (not even herself) I even did the cooking. But I was young and had plenty of time to get my life back on track.
All water under the bridge now.