lol, Great Craigslist ad

[Tilar]

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/cto/2832442503.html


EDIT: Decided to copy it over incase it goes away.

Piece of s$@# car for sale! 95 Geo Prism, 216,000 miles, manual trans. (Apex, NC)
Date: 2012-02-03, 9:21AM EST
Reply to: dbxq7-2832442503@sale.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
For sale, best offer.

Pros:

1.Technically "works," in the loosest sense of the word.
2.Radio functions quite well.
3.Two speeds on windshield wipers! Fast, and very fast.
4.Has locks, they work. Won't need them though, no one will ever bother trying to steal this car or anything in it
5.Also, headlights work, and doors open and close with ease.
6.NOT on Time Magazines list of Worst Cars Ever
7.They don't make these cars anymore (wonder why?) so you will own a little piece of history.
8.Kelly Blue Book crashes and gives me error messages whenever I try to calculate the cost of the car, saying "we cannot provide values for cars in this condition." However, if my car were in "fair" condition it would be worth $375
9."Don't Tread On Me" bumper sticker
10.Sometimes you are at your wits end and you beg for help from the Man Upstairs. Requires you to pray every time you turn on the engine or when you drive by people that might recognize you. Car will revitalize your spiritual life.
11.Builds character. You will also appreciate everything else more. Not just other cars, but pretty much everything else.


Cons:

1.Very loud, gut-wrenching screeching noise upon starting car and turning the wheel. Will make even the toughest person flinch. Stops after a few moments. Will cause problems for neighbors who are light sleepers, but that is their problem.
2.Metal grinding noise every time wheel turns. I think its coming from the front-left side of the car
3.Crackling/ popping sound at all time when engine is on. Sounds like one of those raffle things with the balls in it that they spin.
4.Crack going all the way across front windshield
5.AC does not work, but when it did work it was really cold. That's actually the one reason I kept this car instead of the functional Accord I used to have! Jokes on me
6.All knobs missing on dashboard -- heat/ cold, speed of AC, and the one that says where the AC comes out of. You will need pliers to change the settings. This will not be a problem, however, because. . .
7.The engine overheats always, so heat needs to be on all the way hot and at full blast at all times. Excellent if considering a move to northern Alaska. This car can be in negative 30 degree weather, with all the windows down, and still manages to maintain a pleasant 98 degree temperature in the car
8.Will not pass inspection, must find a sketchy car mechanic to pass you.
9.Leaks power steering fluid extensively. . .will need to fill power steering every few days. When it runs out, you will get an excellent arm workout and develop mighty biceps, which is really a pro. Also, the cap from the power steering is missing.
10.Car shakes violently when going over 45 mph
11.No odometer. If you need one though, you really shouldn't be driving stick because you're not doing it right
12.Car veers about 70 degrees to the right at all times, so you need to hold the wheel real tight to keep it going straight. On the bright side, right turns require no effort.
13.Both side mirrors have fallen off at some point and have been epoxy glued back on. On of them is a bit wobbly, might need more glue
14.The light inside the car does not work, but SOMETIMES works when you hit it really hard repeatedly. Don't count on it though.
15.Battery is very crusty. Very, very crusty. It looks like a black box with two muffins sitting on each side.
16.I hit a deer a few weeks back and killed it, so there is a huge dent on the front of the car in the shape of the side of a deer, with some deer hairs stuck to it. That being said, this car does NOT have anti lock breaks. For the love of God, tap on the breaks when you need to stop the car quickly.
17.Interior has assorted cigarette burns, stains, and mold. Has that "new cigarette" smell. If you don't like it I can throw in an air freshener for $10 up charge
18.Missing one of those car rug things, but who the hell cares about those
19.Cupholders too small for large cups

[Ghoste]

    Priceless.

[68X426]

That's a great read. 

[68coronetGLwannabe]

One of the few honest seller left. 

[stripedelete]

"muffins on a black box"   

"new cigarette smell" 

thanks for sharing

[ChgrSteve67]

Someone should send that to Top Gear
I'm sure they could use it in a under $250 episode

[Darkman]

 

He'll probably sell it too!

[nvrbdn]

that was funny. locks work but you wont need them

[kikgas01]

LOVE IT!

[71ChallengeHer]

thanks for the laugh. 

[kab69440]

Sounds like he may be sugar-coating the true condition to me...

[A383Wing]

Hmmmmmm...no mention on how the paint condition is....guess I'll pass on this one

Bryan

[nvrbdn]

Hmmmmmm...no mention on how the paint condition is....guess I'll pass on this one

Bryan

  yea, pass because of the paint

[draftingmonkey]

Don't really like white paint and I'm afraid 1 can of Krylon in Red would be double of what the car is worth.  Think I will pass also.

[Old Moparz]

That was great.

[Nacho-RT74]

Damn Oldz! two funny things here... the ad and your signature gif LOL

where you find those gifs ? LOL

( editing, nevermind, I read the tittle on gif itself LOL )

[68RT4ME]

Got to give it to the guy for being so honest and thorough. Gotta love con #5....too funny 

[The70RT]

Maybe he should sign up for  "Pimp My Ride" ...nevermind - they never work on anything mechanical.

[bull]

"9. Leaks power steering fluid extensively. . .will need to fill power steering every few days. When it runs out, you will get an excellent arm workout and develop mighty biceps, which is really a pro. Also, the cap from the power steering is missing."

Hmmmm. Could one of these problems possibly have something to do with the other?

[Tilar]

The plus to that is it will probably keep the underside of the car from rusting.

[sixty8charger]

  my stomach hurts... !!! 

[bull]

This car reminds me of a 74 VW Dasher I used to have. By the time I was done with it the wipers wouldn't stay on, the driver's side fender was smashed, it visibly burned a quart of oil per day and it was stuck in first gear. Some guy came and test drove it around the block at 1-15 mph amid a cloud of blue smoke and then paid me $150 for it. That was one of the happiest days of my life.

[nvrbdn]

its like someone paid you to take out your trash. what a deal

[spinny]

  This made my day