Pre-Graduation Comprehensive Exit Exam

[hemigeno]

I'm getting ready to graduate next semester (seriously) with a Master's degree.  One of my professors remarked how we should be glad they don't do the old form of the exit exam before conferring the degree.  Of course, we took the bait.  Here's what he gave us when we asked what that was:

Washington University in St. Louis
Pre-Graduation Comprehensive Exit Exam

INSTRUCTIONS – Read each question carefully.  Answer all questions.  Time limit: 4 hours.  You may begin immediately.


HISTORY:  Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa.  Be brief, concise and specific.

PUBLIC SPEAKING:  2,500 riot-crazed Aborigines are storming the classroom.  Calm them.  You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

BIOLOGY:  Create life.  Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system.  Prove your thesis using nested discsubs.

MUSIC:  Write a piano concerto.  Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum.  You will find a piano under your seat.

PSYCHOLOGY:  Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following:
   Alexander of Aphrodisias
   Ramses II
   Gregory of Nicia
   Hamurabi
Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references.  It is not necessary to translate.

SOCIOLOGY:  Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world.  Construct an experiment to test your theory.

ENGINEERING:  The disassembled parts of a high powered rifle have been placed on your desk.  You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili.  In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room.  Take whatever action you feel appropriate.  Be prepared to justify your decision.

ECONOMICS:  Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt.  Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas:
   Cubism
   The Donatist controversy
   The wave theory of light
Outline a method for preventing these effects.  Criticize this method from all possible points of view.  Point out the inefficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.  You may use a spreadsheet.

POLITICAL SCIENCE:  There is a red telephone on the desk beside you.  Start World War III.  Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

EPISTEMOLOGY:  Take a position for or against truth.  Prove the validity of your stand.

PHYSICS:  Explain the nature of matter.  Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

PHILOSOPHY:  Sketch the development of human thought, and estimate its significance.  Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE:  Describe in detail.  Be specific.

[PocketThunder]

What year was that written?      

[hemigeno]

What year was that written?      

I dunno, although the photocopy he gave us did look like a older typeset.  At least it's post WWII...

I suspect this is a gag that started elsewhere and/or has made it around to many other universities, but it's the first time I had come across it.  Perhaps my professors at Mizzou (where I did my undergraduate work) weren't as creative. 

[440]

It has to be gag, quite funny though