The Demerit System

[ChgrSteve67]

 
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy. 
Do something she likes and you get points.  Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.  Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with beer (-5)

PROTECTIVE DUTIES
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer (-20)
Tina has implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
(Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

[PocketThunder]

-8000         

[tan top]

     thats funny 

-4000

do  i look fat !!  & you hesitate  -10 

this is all true stuff 

[djcarguy]

Once you say i do, your done/////   they hear i do and  to them it means ,,,i do anything you want,,,i do not want sex anymore,,,i do freely hand over my balls,,,i do hand over paycheck and all right to said moneys from now on,,,i do promise never to look at or think another women is the slightes bit pretty,,,i do never expect sex more than ,maybe once amonth if i kiss up and jump every time she nags bout some stupid task she is to lazy to do herself.....
     did you know when you said till death do we part,, that you were setting a goal for yourself???hahaha

screw them ,,,,,i refuse to play thier points game///////hahaha          good luck ,ever pleasing them type??

[ChgrSteve67]

Some of the rules they forgot to tell you.

1. Your positive point totals are not rollover points like your phone plan.
2. Every morning you wake up your point total gets reset to "0" unless you are in negative numbers (aka "the Dog House")
3. A woman can choose to reset you positive total to "0" for no reason what so ever. "Woman's Prerogative"