Favorite fortune cookie fortunes...

[BananaDan]

I save ones I like, and used to have a good stack, but lost them all when my wallet was stolen years ago.  Here's my current favorite fortunes that I've saved.  Does anyone have any other good ones to share?

We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

[Drache]

"The last cookie lied"

I am not joking 

[Brock Lee]

"You like Chinese food"
"Help! I have been kidnapped! I am being held hostage in a Chinese bakery!"

[nh_mopar_fan]

"you eat too much. you go now."

[Old Moparz]

Gay man, who go on far, far away trip, hate leave friends behind.


Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run beside car pretty damn fast!


OK for shit to happen, will decompose.

[PocketThunder]

I save ones I like, and used to have a good stack, but lost them all when my wallet was stolen years ago.  Here's my current favorite fortunes that I've saved.  Does anyone have any other good ones to share?

We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Ummmm,..... you keep fortune cookie fortunes in your wallet?...??       


Ok, here are some more to add to Bobs list:

•"Virgin like balloon ... one prick, all gone."
••"Baseball wrong ... man with four balls cannot walk!"
••"A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose."
••"Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk."
••"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."
••"Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed."
••"Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!"
••"War not determine who's right, war determines who's left."
••"Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit."
••"Man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth."
••"Passionate kiss like spider web -- lead to undoing of fly."
••"Man with holes in pants pockets, feels cocky all day."
••"Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night"
••"Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok."

[BananaDan]

I did then, I don't now.  It was more out of laziness, if I liked them they'd go into my wallet at the restaurant and I never took them back out again.   

[johnnycharger]

I like:
"That wasn't chicken"

[doctor4766]

How about
Man who stand naked in front of elevator door at airport is going to Bangkok