Your Kindergarten-aged kids, those 1st days...

[hemi68charger]

Hey Gang..
Wanted to bounce this off ya'lls chest of experience. Kim's worried about Julie, my soon-to-be-5 year old next week going to Kindergarten next year. She's in a two-day a week program now at a church by us. Real nice program they have there. Well, Julie's teacher has made the suggestion of keeping Julie for another year in a "Bridge Class" because of her shyness. Kim's worried about Julie not getting past Kindergarten the 1st year. Well, I guess I'm old-school and learn from experience. I have spoken to the assistant principle at the school she will be attending, the one Jacob's at now. She says that they come across all sorts of children with various social skills. Her being extremely shy is similar to so many other children. She states Julie should be just fine. I believe the same.. She needs to be submerged in groups of kids to develop those social skills and increase her interaction with the teacher when called upon to answer questions...

What are your experiences? I'm going to set up a face-to-face appointment with the assistant principle to make Kim feel better. I'll ask her about similar situation children and academic and social expectations at the beginning of the school year...

[Old Moparz]

My wife & I never worried too much about the shyness our daughter had, & still has. She's almost 12 now & depending on the situation, can either be what appears normal, outgoing kid behavior, or very quiet & shy. Regarding your daughter, I'd say get her started in the regular kindergarten & not keep her back. If not, the following year she will be a lot older than the other kids. The age difference may not seem to be a big deal to us as adults, but at 4, 5, & 6 it's like a lifetime to the kids. In later years the age difference can work 2 ways. They will be the old timer kid in the class, or the baby of the class.

Our daughter did well with other kids in a pre-k as well as kindergarten. She couldn't wait to go, & was not afraid to get on the bus or be away from Mom & Dad all day. Actually, I think she wanted to get away from us. 

[skip68]

I think people worry toooo much about kids today.   Kids are kids, don't worry until you have a reason to worry.   But, that's just me. Some kids are just mellow, and some just hyper.  Don't over stimulate the mellow ones and don't drug the hyper ones. 

[moparstuart]

I think people worry toooo much about kids today.   Kids are kids, don't worry until you have a reason to worry.   But, that's just me. Some kids are just mellow, and some just hyper.  Don't over stimulate the mellow ones and don't drug the hyper ones. 

[bull]

I agree, people worry too much about kids and try to shelter them too much these days. There's just too much coddling in general going on IMO.

We don't know your child's specifics but being shy is not something I would consider to be a social problem. If anything I would consider it an asset. We've got enough people in the world that talk too much. Both of my daughters are shy, one of them moreso in school, and they are very good students. Their teachers like them because they do what is asked and don't create classroom drama and disruption with noise. That said, the only way to really deal with shyness is to put yourself around people and practice being more extroverted (I only wish the extroverts would practice being more quiet). If her shyness is crippling that's a different story but if she's just a quiet girl who minds her own business and keeps to herself I don't see a problem.

[GPULLER]

We went through the same with our son, we kept him back another year before sending to Kindergarten.  He would have been almost one year younger than the rest of the class.  My son was shy too and we thought the same about holding him back would give him better "people" skills.  Now with the school year at an end I'm really glad that we waited, with conferences with his teacher, she told us that he excelled in reading, math everything.  The teacher said she sees that in kids that have been held for another year before going to kindergarten. 
Another reason we held him back was because my wife was very young for her class, she didn't like it when she was in high school and everybody else had their licence in her class and she had to wait another year to get hers.
I think it was a good decision in our case.

[bobs66440]

We went through the same with our son, we kept him back another year before sending to Kindergarten.  He would have been almost one year younger than the rest of the class.  My son was shy too and we thought the same about holding him back would give him better "people" skills.  Now with the school year at an end I'm really glad that we waited, with conferences with his teacher, she told us that he excelled in reading, math everything.  The teacher said she sees that in kids that have been held for another year before going to kindergarten.  
Another reason we held him back was because my wife was very young for her class, she didn't like it when she was in high school and everybody else had their licence in her class and she had to wait another year to get hers.
I think it was a good decision in our case.

We went through a similar situation. My son was born in October so he was borderline aged. We also waited at the advice of the pre-school teacher and that was the best thing we ever did. He's in 6th grade now and one of the biggest, most advanced kids. A huge advantage for him in my opinion. Every kid is different. Most parents know in their heart what is right. 

[Neal_J]

I must concur with my two esteemed colleagues above based on our experience.  We have two sets of twins.  For both, the respective preschool teachers advised that we wait another year to allow for additional maturity.  

For the first set, we ignored the advice and enrolled them in kindergarten at age 5 (largely because I was/am a cheapskate and I didn't want to continue to pay the preschool $$$).  Thoughout elementary and middle school, they struggled mightily.  Ultimately, we elected to have one of them repeat 4th grade because she just couldn't keep up in 5th grade.  Both are now in high school and after years of difficuly have finally adjusted.  Regarding sending them early if the preschool says don't do it, then I'd likewise say DON'T DO THIS.

For the second set of twins, we heeded the advise of the professionals and held them for another year of preschool.  During that time, their social skills and maturity increased significantly - making them much better able to adjust, focus and stay on-task when they entered kindergarten.  They're now in 3rd grade and are having zero problems.  If this is what your preschool is suggesting, then DO THIS.

My two, ok four, cents....

[bull]

If this is what your preschool is suggesting, then DO THIS.

Bottom line, really. I'd go with the opinion of the professional educators over that of some guys on a Charger website.

[moparstuart]

If this is what your preschool is suggesting, then DO THIS.

Bottom line, really. I'd go with the opinion of the professional educators over that of some guys on a Charger website.

[Tilar]

I work at the local school district and see this at the beginning of every year. The shy kids will tend to cry when they get on the bus wanting mom and dad, and two weeks down the road they couldn't care less where you are.

What I suggest is to get with the principle and set up a day where you can take her in to the kindergarden class and let her meet the teacher and see for herself what they do.