A Blonde's Year in Review

[Old Moparz]

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles  won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
Box said ' 2-4 years!'

April
Trapped on escalator for hours ...
Power went out!!!

May
Tried to  make Kool Aid.....wrong instructions....
8 cups of  water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to  go water skiing.......
Couldn't find a lake with a  slope. 

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition....
Learned later , the other swimmers cheated , they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm......
Car swamped because soft-top was open.

September   
The capital of California is  'C'.....isn't it??? 

October
Hate M & M's.....
They are so hard to peel.

November   
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days  ....
Instructions  said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December 

Couldn't  call 911.
'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on  the stupid phone!!!



THE  BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO  FAR

A  man was in his front yard mowing grass when his  attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the  house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it then slammed  it shut and  stormed back into the house.   

A little later she came out of her house again went to  the mail box and again , opened it , slammed it shut again. Angrily , back into the house she  went.

As the man was getting  ready to edge the lawn , here she came out again ,   marched to the mail box , opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the  man asked her , 'Is something wrong?'

To which she replied ,   'There certainly is!'

(Are you  ready? This is a  beauty...)

'My stupid computer keeps  saying , 'YOU'VE GOT  MAIL!'

[A383Wing]

     

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