Why California Has No Money

[Old Moparz]

California:

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.           

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
       
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote  awareness" program for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.

9. Additional cost to State of California : $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the State.

 
Arizona:

The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
               
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and keeps  jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.


....and that, boys and girls, is why California is broke.

[oldschool]

good one!

[BB1]

I know California is a joke, that's why I live in Missouri. 

[68coronetGLwannabe]

Arizona is a great place to live! 

[doctor4766]

I heard there IS no Arizona......

[stripedelete]

I heard there IS no Arizona......

Scarey....

[68blue]

Lots of folks working for the government in one way or another out there. They all want to keep thier jobs.

[69Charger_440]

Here in Texas our governor doesn't mess around:


From the Houston & Texas News
AUSTIN, Texas — Texas Gov. Rick Perry has a message for wily coyotes out there: Don't mess with my dog.

Perry says he needed just one shot from his laser-sighted pistol to take down a coyote that was menacing his dog during an early morning jog in an undeveloped area near Austin.

Perry told The Associated Press he sometimes carries his pistol, loaded with hollow-pointed bullets, when he jogs on trails because he's scared of snakes — and that he'd seen coyotes in that area.

When the coyote came out of the brush toward his daughter's labrador retriever puppy on a February jog, he charged it and shot it with his .380 Ruger pistol.

"Don't attack my dog or you might get shot ... if you're a coyote," Perry said.

[learical1]

Arizona:

The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
               
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and keeps  jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

If you saw the debate before the AZ gubernatorial race, you'd know it would take Jan Brewer 16 seconds to remember that she was packing heat.  By that time, her Chihuahua would be dead, and the coyote would be asking Glendale's mayor for better terms or he and his friends might just leave for Canada.

[Landonsrt]

I heard there IS no Arizona......

I think the same thing about that song when I hear the mention of Arizona.....

[68coronetGLwannabe]

Arizona:

The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
             
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and keeps  jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

If you saw the debate before the AZ gubernatorial race, you'd know it would take Jan Brewer 16 seconds to remember that she was packing heat.  By that time, her Chihuahua would be dead, and the coyote would be asking Glendale's mayor for better terms or he and his friends might just leave for Canada.

You forgot Sheriff Joe was right behind her and rounded up the Coyote. The Coyote was detained for transporting the chihuahua across the southern border. It was later found out the Coyote killed the Chihuahua because he would not pay more to have his family smuggled across the border. Sheriff Joe told the rest of the Coyotes to go ahead and go to Canada because they have free healthcare for them. Just don't go through Maricopa county to get there. Praise the lord and pass the ammunition Long live Sheriff Joe and his Posse.

Sheriff Joe "Toughest Sheriff in America"

[learical1]

Long live Sheriff Joe and his Posse.

Sheriff Joe "Toughest Sheriff in America"

Somebody needs to douche the posse so sheriff Joe won't stink so bad.

[71charger]

You guys are lucky I h8 it here commifornia aka the peoples republik of kalifornia

[Tilar]

Long live Sheriff Joe and his Posse.

Sheriff Joe "Toughest Sheriff in America"

Somebody needs to douche the posse so sheriff Joe won't stink so bad.

More sheriffs need to aspire to what Joe is. The rest are there just for the money and bragging rights where Joe is there to do what he was elected to do.

[TK73]

You guys are lucky I h8 it here commifornia aka the peoples republik of kalifornia

That's easy to remedy, move...

I'd say try Arkansas or Oklahoma. 

[Tilar]

You guys are lucky I h8 it here commifornia aka the peoples republik of kalifornia

That's easy to remedy, move...

I'd say try Arkansas or Oklahoma. 

I agree. Both are great states and neither one demonstrates the stupidity that comes from the california lawmakers.

[71charger]

Id love to move but im more of a water guy. maybe texas or someplace that is close to the ocean. moving..... easier said than done

[Tilar]

I just sold my home in Texas this last January. I was about 250 miles north of the gulf.  If it weren't for the fact that my parents are getting up in years and need a little help now and then I'd still be there.

[71charger]

Kalifornia has the most laws in the whole us. rifles can only have a 10 round clip which can't be relased without a bullet button its some bull.

[TK73]

I was actually joking about Oklahoma or Arkansas.  both SUCK    

Point being moving there will teach one to appreciate where they came from.

[Tilar]

I thought you were being sarcastic but figured that maybe you had never actually been to either state longer than to drive through them and were making an assumption, Both states are actually very nice and the people there aren't full of themselves like most of the ones in CA.   

Actually in all the states I went through when driving OTR, None are as full of themselves as people in California... Although for some reason Massivetwoshits comes in a close second. 

[440]

California has some great pockets to live in and a lot to offer. Of course we pay the most for many things and have some of the most ridiculous laws it's still not a bad place.

I wouldn't say most Californians are full of themselves. Like anything it depends where you go, there's good parts and bad ones in everyplace.

I would have to say Oregon/Washington would be the best states, or at least that's where I'd want to go from CA..

You know what they say......The grass is always greener on the other side...

[BB1]

Wrong, I was born and raised in California. I left like everyone else in the mid 90's. I will never live in that hell hole, tax infested, Hollywood clap trap no future state, if it was the last place on earth.  

So help me GOD.  

[Plum Crazy 68]

Here in California I'm......  Afraid to open a business due to tax liabilities, licenses, fees and fines.  Afraid to open a store because of sue happy people with an ocean of lawyers.  Afraid to drive without getting hit by someone who is not supposed to be here.  Afraid to fix my house up because the taxes assessed will increase.  Afraid to leave because everywhere else is full of ex-Californians that no one likes.  Been here 40 years and have not enjoyed anything but the weather.  And if there are eleven coyotes in a pack we are in deep do do.

[xpbprox]

Arizona is a great place to live! 

I second that

[Budnicks]

I was born & raised in California 52 years. It has great weather usually & most of the people are very nice with the typical exceptions to the rule. It's not as bad as some people make it out to be. it's mostly the politicians, people that moved here from other places originally, taxes, regulations & extreme left & right groups that are the problem... Why California is broke? I read an article that was on MyMotherLode.com a local news group for Tuolumne & Calaveras County in eastern central Calif. information from the State Controllers office Mr.Chian in the article, 256,222 full time state worker, 1400 of them make $200K per year, 500 make $240K, 9 "make more than" $500K+ (Prison Doctors & medical staff mostly) It didn't include any #'s on the people making less than the $200K or any temporary or part time non benefited employees or consultant etc.. I could only imagine how many of them there are... It seems to be simple economics to me.  Way too many people working for the state, cities or counties. That 256,222 is only "the state" not the cities or counties. I know California is not the only state that has an overpaid bloated public employee sector, but it's the one that gets the most attention other than maybe, New York or Massachusetts, two other uber liberal welfare & sanctuary states. 

[71charger]

there are 33 million people in the state of california

[Budnicks]

there are 33 million people in the state of california

Yep & most all probably 2/3rds of those people live in San Francisco Bay area & Los Angeles area, maybe 1/5th of the total states land, the rest of the population is spread out all over the rest of the state, so a lot of people make assumptions about California from a perspective of those 2 areas with out knowing much about the true state & the people that live here...

[440]

   

[doctor4766]

there are 33 million people in the state of california

Lol there aren't even 23 million people in all of Australia.

[mysil bergsprekken]

With reference to the joke, I would say that California isn't such a bad place to live if you have a company thet conducts "coyote  awareness" programs and are in charge of either doing or leasing out people to do "dagerous animals surveys".

I recon you would get your pockets filled...

[Tilar]

there are 33 million people in the state of california

Lol there aren't even 23 million people in all of Australia.

Sounds like my kinda place!

[doctor4766]

there are 33 million people in the state of california

Lol there aren't even 23 million people in all of Australia.

Sounds like my kinda place!

Unfortunately the flies outnumber us by a million to one 
But when it isn't summer it's a great place to live.

[440]

Don't remind me Doc... It's getting into the season now 

[xpbprox]

All politics aside..... it's 52 degrees here in San Deigo, this is my winter 
Only thing that sucks about SD is the Chargers 

[Budnicks]

All politics aside..... it's 52 degrees here in San Deigo, this is my winter 
Only thing that sucks about SD is the Chargers 

That's funny...

[TK73]

37,000,000+ in CA

http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/06000.html

256,000 state workers

One state worker per 144 residents (don't forget teachers, university employees, State Patrol, DOT are state workers).
The highest paid state workers in WA are the G@D DAMN football coaches at the Universities.  CUT OUT THE SPORTS PROGRAMS.

Quit blaming state workers for the complex problems Reagonomics caused... 

[Dans 68]

...Quit blaming state workers for the complex problems Reagonomics caused...  

You are effin kidding, right?      Maybe it is time for the 'ole lock....  

Dan

[Darkman]

Positives about Australia....
Huge country
Fantastic places to see
Small population
NEVER need to store your beloved Charger for Winter
More Chargers here than in US 
Real men play real sports (not heavily padded  )
Our dollar is stronger than yours

Negatives
Lots of flies
Gets really hot
Julia Gillard

Just putting it out there for ya 

[xpbprox]

You don't have united states marines or girls with @** everywhere

[Darkman]

You don't have united states marines or girls with @** everywhere

True to the Marines! But you haven't seen some of the Aussie talent now have you? 

[xpbprox]

I haven't seen any, so my claim could be false. It's just the Mexican girls here got it haha. But I would love to see some haha

[Fred]

Positives about Australia....
Huge country
Fantastic places to see
Small population
NEVER need to store your beloved Charger for Winter
More Chargers here than in US 
Real men play real sports (not heavily padded  )
Our dollar is stronger than yours

Negatives
Lots of flies
Gets really hot
Julia Gillard

Just putting it out there for ya 

Good on ya Darkman    with you 110%
Couldn't have said it better myself! 

[440]

You don't have united states marines or girls with @** everywhere

True to the Marines! But you haven't seen some of the Aussie talent now have you? 

We have the map of Tassie which is just as good 

[71charger]

Its a proven fact australia has the hottest woman around.

[xpbprox]

Its a proven fact australia has the hottest woman around.

Please provide me with some proof, I'll be more than happy to look over the evidence  haha

[71charger]

there you go. just remember the tissues.. hehe

[TK73]

...Quit blaming state workers for the complex problems Reagonomics caused...  

You are effin kidding, right?      Maybe it is time for the 'ole lock....  

Dan

No, not kidding... serious as cancer.

 TK - WFSE/AFSCME State Employee  (one who provides benefits to hypocritical right-wingers who don't believe in government social services)

[oldschool]

...Quit blaming state workers for the complex problems Reagonomics caused...  

You are effin kidding, right?      Maybe it is time for the 'ole lock....  

Dan

No, not kidding... serious as cancer.

 TK - WFSE/AFSCME State Employee  (one who provides benefits to hypocritical right-wingers who don't believe in government social services)

wow....

[Old Moparz]

The "Why California Has No Money" topic is in the "Lighter Side" forum for a reason. It's just something funny to read & laugh at, not fight about.  



.....But photos of hot women from Australia are always welcome.  


.....And by the way, who is Holly Valance?      

[71charger]

I know who Holly Valance is shes my next wife.....

[Budnicks]

The "Why California Has No Money" topic is in the "Lighter Side" forum for a reason. It's just something funny to read & laugh at, not fight about.  



.....But photos of hot women from Australia are always welcome.  


.....And by the way, who is Holly Valance?      

She is attractive enough to be a "California Girl" for sure... Love them Aussie girls too

[Darkman]

Holly Valance started her career out as an actor in a daily Aussie soapie called "Neighbours" she then tried out a singing career and had a hit called "Kiss, Kiss". She then moved to the US to further her acting career.....(a little like Kylie Minogue - except for the acting bit)


Truth be known, I dated her for a while, then dumped her, broke her heart so she left to go somewhere she wouldn't be reminded of the pain    (I wish)

Most red blooded Aussie males would have had a crush on her (and probably still do)

[TK73]

wow....

Yeah, I know. Hard to believe. We Union State workers have to put up with a barrage of hate-speech from wingnut radio jocks, put up with a constant assault on our integrity, pay, benefits, professionalism, education, etc, from dittoheads online...

THEN, I have to provide professional customer service to people who publicly hate the government and it representatives and those same people come to us privately with hands out asking, begging and sometimes lying to get government social services money.

Astounds me too...   

[xpbprox]

wow....

Yeah, I know. Hard to believe. We Union State workers have to put up with a barrage of hate-speech from wingnut radio jocks, put up with a constant assault on our integrity, pay, benefits, professionalism, education, etc, from dittoheads online...

THEN, I have to provide professional customer service to people who publicly hate the government and it representatives and those same people come to us privately with hands out asking, begging and sometimes lying to get government social services money.

Astounds me too...   

Aww poor you

[Old Moparz]

We interrupt this bickering to bring you another Australian cutie named Miranda Kerr, a professional underwear stuffer for Victoria's Secret.

[oldschool]

wow....

Yeah, I know. Hard to believe. We Union State workers have to put up with a barrage of hate-speech from wingnut radio jocks, put up with a constant assault on our integrity, pay, benefits, professionalism, education, etc, from dittoheads online...

THEN, I have to provide professional customer service to people who publicly hate the government and it representatives and those same people come to us privately with hands out asking, begging and sometimes lying to get government social services money.

Astounds me too...  

Aww poor you

[Tilar]

wow....

Yeah, I know. Hard to believe. We Union State workers have to put up with a barrage of hate-speech from wingnut radio jocks, put up with a constant assault on our integrity, pay, benefits, professionalism, education, etc, from dittoheads online...

THEN, I have to provide professional customer service to people who publicly hate the government and it representatives and those same people come to us privately with hands out asking, begging and sometimes lying to get government social services money.

Astounds me too...   

It's not you personally, it's the money sucking unions...

In Michigan, the unions come up with a scheme where people who got State money to look after low income kids in their home day care business were suddenly called "State Employees" and union dues were taken out of the money that was suppose to cover the low income kids.  Not a vote or any benefits, They just lose part of their money that is supposed to go to pay for the kids.