selfless behaviour alienating.

[Brock Samson]

 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1305716/Nobody-likes-gooder-Study-confirms-selfless-behaviour-alienating.html

  They probably think their selfless behaviour makes them popular but the truth about 'do-gooders' is nobody really likes them, according to new research.
A series of studies found that those who volunteer to take on unwanted tasks or who hand out gifts without being prompted, quickly alienate themselves.
Psychologists believe this is because it makes the rest of us feel guilty and puts pressure on us to behave in an equally selfless fashion.
Researchers say do-gooders come to be resented because they 'raise the bar' for what is expected of everyone.
It suggests that people might want to think twice before waxing lyrical about their charity work or volunteering to put in extra hours at the office.
Social psychologist Professor Craig Parks said: 'The fear is that this new standard will make everyone else look bad.
'It doesn't matter that the overall welfare of the group is better served by someone's unselfish behaviour.
'What is objectively good, we see as subjectively bad.
'The do-gooders are also seen as deviant rule breakers. It's as if they're giving away Monopoly money so someone can stay in the game, irking other players no end.' 
Professor Parks, of Washington State University, carried out a series of four tests with groups of people which showed that do-gooders got people's backs up.
In each case others reacted by wanting them thrown out of the group.
Prof Parks added: 'It's perhaps not hard to think of examples of this but we were the first to show this happens and have explanations for why.' 
Parks led the research entitled 'The Desire to Expel Unselfish Members from the Group.' 
During the research, participants were handed an allocation of points they could keep or give up for an immediate reward of meal service vouchers.
They were also told that giving up points would improve the group's chance of receiving a monetary reward to be shared between them.
Generally those within the group would make seemingly fair swaps of one point for each voucher.
However, in each group one was briefed to make lopsided exchanges - greedily giving up no points and taking a lot of vouchers or unselfishly giving up a lot of points and taking few vouchers.
As expected, most participants later said they would not want to work with the greedy colleague again.
But a majority of participants also said they would not want to work with the unselfish colleague again.
Prof Parks added: 'They frequently said 'the person is making me look bad' or is breaking the rules.
'Occasionally, they would suspect the person had ulterior motives.'  Further research is planned to look at how do-gooders themselves react to being rejected.
While some may indeed have ulterior motives, Prof Parks said it's more likely they actually are working for the good of the wider group.
He speculated that, once excluded from the group, they may simply give up.
'But it's also possible,' he added, 'that they may actually try even harder.' 
The research is published in the current Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1305716/Nobody-likes-gooder-Study-confirms-selfless-behaviour-alienating.html#ixzz0xeFSKOcY

[JoeyGowdy]

Do what is right and you'll never go wrong.

[Brock Samson]

 right to whom?..  
or, to quote a phrase,
"the road to hell is paved with good intentions".

[RD]

i think the real issue here is that those who see themselves as being inadequate by another person's "do-gooding".

just because someone likes to, legitimately and without ulterior motives, go above and beyond to help those around them should not make others see them as undesirable.  if those who dislike "do-gooders" just because the "do-gooder" makes them feel inadequate, then the inadequate individual is the one with the real issue of insecurity and guilt. 

The "do-gooder" (in most instances, because there are some who do it for selfish purposes) does not do what they do to intentionally cause malice to individuals.  Anyone that believes as such has, in my opinion, an extremely shallow personality with narcissistic tendencies, as well as some paranoia issues that underlie insecurities brought about by their own inadequacies and guilt for their own lack of morality when based upon the current U.S. conservative norm.

hell is only paved with good intentions when those that are supposedly doing "good" are doing it for their own personal gain.  if they are not doing it for themselves and are respectful of those they are trying to help, then it is the opposite to the fact if you ask me.

[bull]

Yea, one has to wonder if the use of the word "selfless" is misplaced here. I think those who like to "showboat" their benevolence have received their reward in full once the bragging has ended. And it ain't much of a reward. If you truly want to help others and not alienate your friends, family and coworkers, do it with as much anonymity as possible and keep your mouth shut.

[Brock Samson]

 
 
Matthew 6:1-4
"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. "So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.


Read more: http://www.bukisa.com/articles/189267_bible-verses-about-charity#ixzz0xf0SjYwR

[bull]

Well now, you just blew my subtle paraphrase of scripture right out the water didn't you?

[Brock Samson]

 just tryin' to help... 

[Wicked72]

I go out of my way sometimes and I still feel good about myself even when Im not and see others volunteering. No one is perfect and who cares? I do feel that if you have the opportunity to do good then do it because its very rewarding. My past few good deeds fell into my lap. A couple months ago I saved a baby and his mother from their flipped over and burning car, they were both unconscious and all the other ppl that stopped just froze, I broke the windows with my keys because the doors where jambed from the roof can pillars caving in and pulled them out as the paramedics arrived. then one month after that I saved a mans life who had been stuck by a car at 50mph. I did what I could to stop his bleeding and reset his leg and get him into a more stable position, that sad thing is we got passed by a ambulance not but 3 min after but they already had someone and couldnt stop and on top of that we were about a mile from the hospital... and it took 25min for a paramedic to arrive.

I am not a doctor nor do I have any experience in a medical field, I am lucky enough to have family that is and I learned a lot from them and thank god i did. I helped because I could and wanted to unlike the mass amount of people that felt burdened by the situation and got pissed they had to stop and attempted to drive by and cause more problems. So in a way there are many ppl that do hate other that volunteer because they feel helpless other wise. I felt helpless but I tried and if people would just give up a few minutes to make maybe help out they wouldnt be so hateful and actually give a damn.

I work in jails servicing detention equipment and I work in areas with many homeless people and I bring some extra food in my lunch so when I leave and I get stuck at the long long Baltimore traffic lights I hand out with I have left to who ever is walking passed that needs it.  Anyway thats it and I do not feel that people that not go out of their way are bad people they are just they way they are and if they feel so horrible then help out and that feeling will go away and if they wont they dont spite the people that do.

Peace