The Breakfast Morning (please post all kind of jokes and what not in here) LOL

[MoparManJim]

One morning a lovely couple was making breakfast and the young man in his 30's was frying some eggs and sausage, bacon

while the lovely young wife was setting at the table having a cup of coffee.  

They was talking and planing what they was going to do that day and also talking about there friends and what they was doing.  

The young man turn the sausage over along with the bacon while the wife started to look in the morning paper.  

In comes a friend of the young mans and the other young man walks over to to the counter and makes him a cup of coffee and then

walks by the sink and leans up against it in while taken a sip of coffee.. "making breakfast?" he ask.

"What gave you the idea?" reply the husband.  

The young man look over at what was in the item packages on the counter next to the stove and looked at the frying pans.. "Is that sausage and bacon and eggs your frying?"  



"No, you see the round brown things are cigars but they look like sausage, the skin is what my wife gave me this morning after we had sex but looks close to bacon and the white things are the things that your mom laid this morning before she woke us up" reply the husband.    

[Darkman]

I think you need to increase the ventilation while you're building models...the glue fumes are getting to you 

[doctor4766]

Well I think Jim's got a great sense of humor myself.
And I love reading his posts.. they always crack me up

[MoparManJim]

Well I think Jim's got a great sense of humor myself.
And I love reading his posts.. they always crack me up

Thank you sir.. see at least we have one person that knows a person with a great sense of humor when he sees them   

I guess Darkman was the football type that always look down on the little guys and laughed at them because they wasn't like him    

Me? I'm glad I'm not! that be too boring. 

[Brock Samson]

Well I think Jim's got a great sense of humor myself.
And I love reading his posts.. they always crack me up

   but usually for a different reason then intended,... 

[Darkman]

I guess Darkman was the football type that always look down on the little guys and laughed at them because they wasn't like him    

You're wrong on that one Jim, I never laughed at them, just beat them up 

Obviously you can't take a joke Jim

[MoparManJim]

I guess Darkman was the football type that always look down on the little guys and laughed at them because they wasn't like him    

You're wrong on that one Jim, I never laughed at them, just beat them up 

Obviously you can't take a joke Jim

Oh I can take a joke.  but I guess I must have been right, you was a football player?

[Darkman]

Just messing with ya Jim (you know a litlle  )

Oh I can take a joke.  but I guess I must have been right, you was a football player?

Just the opposite, I was the short fat kid that everybody picked on. That was until I started martial arts and kickboxing, and the hormones kicked in and shot up to 6'4". Funnily enough nobody has picked on me since

[Khyron]

can I pick on you for using the word funnily?

[Darkman]

Sure...it's an open forum...besides what can I do to you from all the way over here   

[Khyron]

whoohoo, ne ner ne ner neeee neeeer

[Darkman]

Just booked a flight....see you soon    

[MoparManJim]

whoohoo, ne ner ne ner neeee neeeer

Man, after hearing someone say this "Just the opposite, I was the short fat kid that everybody picked on. That was until I started martial arts and kickboxing, and the hormones kicked in and shot up to 6'4". Funnily enough nobody has picked on me since" . I wouldn't go picking unless you you knew how to do that stuff as well  . I'd rather be friends with that person that having him for an enemy!    and I'm '6 foot something myself! 

[TK73]

One morning a lovely couple was making breakfast and the young man in his 30's was frying some eggs and sausage, bacon

while the lovely young wife was setting at the table having a cup of coffee.  

They was talking and planing what they was going to do that day and also talking about there friends and what they was doing.  

The young man turn the sausage over along with the bacon while the wife started to look in the morning paper.  

In comes a friend of the young mans and the other young man walks over to to the counter and makes him a cup of coffee and then

walks by the sink and leans up against it in while taken a sip of coffee.. "making breakfast?" he ask.

"What gave you the idea?" reply the husband.  

The young man look over at what was in the item packages on the counter next to the stove and looked at the frying pans.. "Is that sausage and bacon and eggs your frying?"  

"No, you see the round brown things are cigars but they look like sausage, the skin is what my wife gave me this morning after we had sex but looks close to bacon and the white things are the things that your mom laid this morning before she woke us up" reply the husband.    

Do you go through a lot of glue building those models?

[MoparManJim]

One morning a lovely couple was making breakfast and the young man in his 30's was frying some eggs and sausage, bacon

while the lovely young wife was setting at the table having a cup of coffee.  

They was talking and planing what they was going to do that day and also talking about there friends and what they was doing.  

The young man turn the sausage over along with the bacon while the wife started to look in the morning paper.  

In comes a friend of the young mans and the other young man walks over to to the counter and makes him a cup of coffee and then

walks by the sink and leans up against it in while taken a sip of coffee.. "making breakfast?" he ask.

"What gave you the idea?" reply the husband.  

The young man look over at what was in the item packages on the counter next to the stove and looked at the frying pans.. "Is that sausage and bacon and eggs your frying?"  

"No, you see the round brown things are cigars but they look like sausage, the skin is what my wife gave me this morning after we had sex but looks close to bacon and the white things are the things that your mom laid this morning before she woke us up" reply the husband.    

Do you go through a lot of glue building those models?

No, and before you say it.. don't.    

Plus, have you taken the time to read what this area is for? 

The Lighter Side
Jokes, funnies, comedy, and other assorted silliness...

I swear the next person ask me that I'm going to sick Darkman on them    

[Darkman]

       

[Khyron]

Just booked a flight....see you soon   

[RallyeMike]

I read this straight and didnt get it.

So I "glued some stuff", and laughed my ass off, but I still don't get it.

[MoparManJim]

  Okay, seeing on how you guys always thinks your so good at stuff. This one was a test.. and I hate to say but you all failed     .

It's real easy.  

The friend that came in KNEW what his friend was frying YET he ask him.. The friend in return turn around and was a smart alic with him!    

Now, do you all get it?    

 

I got you all with one. 

[BigRed66]

Not to be a wet blanket, but, quite possibly the lamest joke ever told. It's simply not funny. Sorry. I am sensing a Denny's run, though...

[MoparManJim]

Not to be a wet blanket, but, quite possibly the lamest joke ever told. It's simply not funny. Sorry. I am sensing a Denny's run, though...

Did Darkman take a wizz on you? you said not to be a wet blanket so I thought maybe he took a wizz. Well if you think that was lame joke, I have more and more lamer as well maybe  and then I do also have some real good ones but you all don't deserve them though 

[Darkman]

Did Darkman take a wizz on you? you said not to be a wet blanket so I thought maybe he took a wizz.

Hey! Leave me out of this one 

[PocketThunder]

A moma tomatoe and a poppa tomate and a child tomatoe were walking down the street and the child tomatoe was always lagging behind and the parent tomatoes were getting tired of wating for him so the moma tomatoe walked back to the child tomatoe and stepped on him and said "ketchup"!!! 

[Khyron]

2 muffins where sitting in an oven...

the first muffin looked at the second and said wow, it's hot in here.

the second muffin looked at the first muffin and yelled "HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN"

[moparsons]

 

[PocketThunder]

What did a dog say when he skidded his butt on sand paper?  "Ruff"

[RallyeMike]

This thread reminds me of a great movie


http://gluesniff.ytmnd.com/

[PocketThunder]

A horse walks into a bar and the barkeeper says, why the long face? 




C'mon Krylon keep up!

[Khyron]

what did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?      "DAM!"

[Khyron]

Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins?

He baptised one and kept the other as a control

[Khyron]

 

[skip68]

Now kids, ....play nice or you're all going on time-out and you're toys, (charger's) will be taken away for a week!!! Hehehe! Hey,........ it works at my house! Mrs.skip68

[PocketThunder]

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, Hey, we have a drink named after you.  The grasshopper says, really, you have a drink named Ted?

[Khyron]

Two monkeys were getting into the bath. One said, "Oo, oo, oo, aah, aah aah."
The other replied, "Well put some cold in it then."

[squeakfinder]

   How do you get a cat to sound like a dog? Soak them in gasoline and light them on fire. They'll go "Woof."

[Darkman]

What's blue and looks like a bucket?

A blue bucket

[PocketThunder]

What's blue and looks like a bucket?

A blue bucket

           C'mon, you cant post jokes that are actually funny in this thread!   

[chargergirl]

What has 4 wheels and flys ....a garbage truck!

[MoparManJim]

What has 4 wheels and flys ....a garbage truck!

4 wheeler!

They have 4 wheels and you make them fly at times. 

[PocketThunder]

what is black and white and red all over?  a newspaper.

[learical1]

what is black and white and red all over? 

A nun with a bloody nose.

[squeakfinder]

What's black and white and go's ding dong....


  a beat up Avon Lady.

[PocketThunder]

Did you hear about the Amish couple that wanted a divorce?  The judge asked the wife for her reason for divorce and she told him that her husband drove her buggy.

[71ChallengeHer]

A bear and a rabbit were taking a poop in the woods. The bear asked the rabbit " Do you have problems with poop sticking to your fur ? " The rabbit replied " No " So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

[Brock Samson]

   y is 6 scared of 7?   

[learical1]

   y is 6 scared of 7?   

'Cause 7 ate 9.

[PocketThunder]

what do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little horse.

[doctor4766]

4 wheeler!

They have 4 wheels and you make them fly at times.  

 

Yeah just ask Mark lol

[chargergirl]

How do you know a blonde has been using your computer?    White out on the screen.

[MoparManJim]

4 wheeler!

They have 4 wheels and you make them fly at times.  

 

Yeah just ask Mark lol

Good one! 

But he would probably deni it though like he does everything though