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Abbott and Costello in 2010

Started by alenglish, May 20, 2010, 10:50:29 AM

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alenglish

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this.  For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on.

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT:
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks.  I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.
  :smilielol:
>You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.  If it doesn't move
>and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct
tape.
>

Khyron



Before reading my posts please understand me by clicking
HERE, HERE, AND HERE.

GunMetal

  HEY  YABBOTTT...!    Perfect and timely....Thanks :smilielol:
Non illegitimis carborundum

MoparManJim


Darkman

I have all the volumes of Abbott and Costello on DVD. I still laugh myself into cramps when I see the "who's on first" sketch.
Make it idiot proof, and somebody will make a better idiot!

If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid!

chargergirl

That was amazing! I just read it to a client who was giggling just as hard as I was. My father and grandfather used to do the whole routine after drinking enough mulled cider during the holidays...it was great!
Trust your Woobie!

69rtse4spd

Classics's never go out of style, just like Mopars. Still like to watch them, when I can catch one on the satellite, which is few & far between.

learical1

Anybody remember the "Abbot & Costello" take off of the rock concert with the 3 headliner bands, The Who, The Guess Who and Yes? 
Bruce