Sharing/Opinion time-has your missus ever given you grief about your Charger?

[elanmars]

This can be moved if it's not in the proper section, wasn't sure if to put it under off topic, Car guys discussion or Charger. I chose Charger. Right now I'm in a very difficult situation. First off, my girl met me when I had the '73. It LOOKED like it was in good condition but slowly I kept finding things here and there that pretty much forced me to sell it, otherwise I would have been dumping a lot of money on it. I bought myself a '69 for a really good price and I've always wanted a 2nd gen....bad news, it's been a little more work than I expected, sure. But she was cool with it.

We have a baby now. Now the car is an issue. I'm not dumping crazy money into it but it's gotten to the point where it's aggravating her no matter what I put into it-I'm still saving so we can get our own place but that's going to be a while off since I'm still in school. We had previously agreed on getting our own place after I'm done with school.

I'm at a point where I can't no longer even defend myself on why I have the car and why I have this connection to it and blah blah blah...I know it's just a car, I know down the road PERHAPS I can find another one, whatever. It's one real source of extreme happiness for me and I am not sacrificing much by having it.

I'm just wondering if you guys ever had gotten any grief/issues and/or ended up having to sell the car? or how you guys worked it out...I'm to the point of being sick of it and going to probably end up selling it, even though I totally, totally abhor the idea.

[Lennard]

If it is possible, set the Charger aside until you have the time/money for it.  You can always buy one later like you said but they ain't getting any cheaper.

[skip68]

Getting another car is harder than getting another girl.     How many chargers have you had ?   Now, how many girls have you had ?   You see, it's all right there in the math.        Tell her that your car wants you to get rid of her and you are sick of being in the middle of it.   She and the car are just going to have to get along...      OK, no more jokes.

This is a tuff one for sure.   If you can keep the car (stored) and it won't cost anything then just put it on hold.   Try and work out a deal with her so you can keep the car.   If that won't work, read the top of this post again.  
Good luck.    

[Daytona R/T SE]

Start hangin' out with the nastiest bar slut in town...

Make sure all of her friends see you...

Don't come home 'till the sun comes up...


Car ?

What car ?

[elanmars]

I don't have a problem not putting one more cent on the car until much later and putting it on complete hold. It's selling it and getting completely rid of it that's the difficult part for me. I can get another car to drive around, something that won't need much except gas and oil change and look halfway decent but even getting another car while keeping the Charger, was met with "that's just retarded". It's a either or situation and it's annoying.

sigh...

they are very difficult to find, finding this '69 was pure luck and I'm halfway "there" with the car. It's good enough as a daily driver, it's getting there with the looks and all the stuff after the paint job is stuff that I don't need right away, like new brakes and other assorted stuff that CAN wait. She's not a bad person but she has the bad assumption that all my money is going to the car and that's my priority-and not our baby.

[Daytona R/T SE]

She got a sister ?

What's her mom look like ?

[72ChargerDodge]

I am on my third project in 8 years of marriage. My first project failed hard. The second I got totally screwed over from the body shop and lost my ride. Now I am on my third and this one looks like its going to be the one. I am in a similar boat as you. Me and my wife are looking into buying a house so I agreed to scale back my car money until we get a new house. I still have the budget to fix what it takes to keep it on the road but other then keeping it a driver I am holding out until we have our a new house. It worked out as a good mutual agreement with us. We are both happy with it. It sucks that some women have such a hard time understanding guy things.

P.S. I have a 6 year old 4 year old 2 year old and 4 month old. Being that it is possible for me to have 4 kids a non-working wife and a charger I don't see why you should have to sell your car. Ride through the storm I know too many guys who sold the car low and now they will never be able to have it again. My dad sold his mint 69 Camaro SS 396 four speed for 5000 dollars and now ten years latter he cant even touch a rusty shell for that.

What would she rather have, you and your car or being a single mom? Seems like a no brainer to me.

[69bronzeT5]

My dad sold his mint 69 Camaro SS 396 four speed for 5000 dollars and now ten years latter he cant even touch a rusty shell for that.

Yep. When I was born in 1992 my dad sold his '69 GTO Ram Air 3 4spd for $4,000. Back around 1997 he could of bought it back for $10,000. He couldn't come up with the cash and he's never seen it since.

[skip68]

I bet she has more than 2 pairs of shoes....       It's a shame that some women don't understand guys and their cars like most guys don't understand women and buying 10,000 pairs of shoes.       But, we don't make them get rid of their shoes so let us have the cars.       Sounds fair I think...   I can see her point if this is the only car and it's needing constant repairs.   You don't need to be broke down with a baby in the car.     Man, I feel your pain....  Tuff choice to make for sure.     

[elanmars]

She got a sister ?

What's her mom look like ?

hahaha...she and I have a kid and are otherwise pretty good. She's the hot one. Her mom isn't bad for being in her 40s and her sister isn't my cup of tea but I know plenty of guys that like her, even though she's about to get married.

It's not a problem for me to get good looking, good women-I just happen to have a kid with this one and I do care for her and love her. She's just being difficult about the Charger NOW but had no problem before, didn't even have a problem when I went and bought this '69 half a year ago. It's only NOW she has a problem and big issue with it.

The car is a reliable daily driver, as reliable as our cars can be-the first money spent on the car was all on the mechanical. She has her own car, I *CAN* get another car right now, one more "baby friendly" but I don't ever ride with the baby by myself-and on the rare occasion I have, it's been with her car or someone else's in the family.

I just have heard toooooooo many times that "had to sell it because of the kid" and that person never ever being able to find something remotely like what they had. It's not like my car is anything special-former 318 with a 400 now, shaved marker lights, straight body NOW and all of the very minor rust taken care of. It's a solid car through and through and got the big thumbs up from Travis himself when I had him check it out.

[skip68]

Just tell her you're keeping the car and that's it.        I can tell this is going to just eat at you for a long time if you do sell.   If you do get rid of it, when do you think she will let you get another one ?   NEVER...  She won't leave you because you're keeping your car.  It might get cold on the couch though.       If she did leave you because of the car, it just means she was going to leave sooner or later, but at least you still have your car.      

[72ChargerDodge]

Skip68 spoke some good words, listen to him. If she would leave you over a car then that shows she doesn't really love you. I told my wife about your predicament and she told me that you should keep the car.

[skip68]

Skip68 spoke some good words, listen to him. If she would leave you over a car then that shows she doesn't really love you. I told my wife about your predicament and she told me that you should keep the car.

Hey 72ChargerDodge, welcome to the site.        Don't let your wife read what I said about women and 10,000 pairs of shoes....   

[72ChargerDodge]

My wife is one unique woman. She hates feminism and she doesn't believe women should vote or hold political office, she enjoys being a stay at home mom and she always lets me have the final say in every decision. I get to wear the pants and she stands by what I say. Feminist hate her, men love her. And don't let any feminazi say shes weak either. She is tough as nails with a determination of steel.  She is an awesome wife one to truly be cherished!!!

[Steelshanks]

My wife is one unique woman. She hates feminism and she doesn't believe women should vote or hold political office, she enjoys being a stay at home mom and she always lets me have the final say in every decision. I get to wear the pants and she stands by what I say. Feminist hate her, men love her. And don't let any feminazi say shes weak either. She is tough as nails with a determination of steel.  She is an awesome wife one to truly be cherished!!!

I got me one of those also (minues the kids). We've Been married 5 years now and she supports me. We compromise when it comes to situations we don't exactly agree on. A relationship is a two way street... she likes my car and wants to cruise around in it with me though...



You just need to be honest with her and make sure she understands that working on the car is your therapy. Forcing you to sell it is kinda extreme. I know plenty of people who have terrible hobbies... you could always sell the car and take up drinking so she can see the difference. 



Now that you have a kid to think about also I'd find some common ground with the wife. It's not what you say that matters most when debating... its how you say it. Remember that when you have another conversation about it with her.

[Brass]

As long as your kid remains your priority and there is a viable way to keep the car - you should.  Otherwise you stand to resent her later.  Not good for anyone.   

[dodgey68]

As long as your kid remains your priority and there is a viable way to keep the car - you should.  Otherwise you stand to resent her later.  Not good for anyone.   


yep what he said,
but keep it no matter what, its paid for now,  store it, and wait till ya have the time or money to do it right ,,
,i am building my car ,my missus hates it, (well the time,me whining  waiting for the panel and paint,, (2years in paint shop),,lol, , i said good when its finished ill go touring with the kids, you stay home, lol, she happy with that,see easy lol,,not,
goodluck

[Tilar]

It's selling it and getting completely rid of it that's the difficult part for me.

Then don't do it. Tell her that the car is not for sale and she needs to get over it, Period, End of discussion...

She's not a bad person but she has the bad assumption that all my money is going to the car and that's my priority-and not our baby.

New mothers tend to think that way for a while and regardless of what you want or say it's not right.  I gotta agree with Chuck (Skip68) on this one. She's not going to leave you over it and if she does it was just a matter of time before she found another excuse to do it.

Here's a small test, Take her and your dog, Put them both in the trunk of the car and go down and get a 6 pack. When you get back, Open the trunk and see which one of them is happy to see you.  

[six-tee-nine]

You can look at this from 2 sides :

The moment that I don't have money left to feed my kids or having difficulites to have them shelterd, i'll sell my hobby cars immediatly.
Otherwise i won't if dont need to.
Due to the economocal crisis we probably all go trough my wife's business isn't doing as great as 2 years ago and the same goes for me (less work at the job makes me work up to 10 hrs less a week). That makes that roughly we have $1000 every month less then over a year ago.
So in the past 8 months i bought nothing to get my Charger project going again. But I'm confident this all will start to get better in a while so i'm just hanging on....

On the otherhand, my wife knows me very well after almost 12 years and she knows cars are a part of me and she knows she can't push me to not buy or sell something i don't want to.

[Belgium R/T -68]

If you wouldn't have the car costing time and money it would be something else, that's the way my wife sees it. She rather have
me in my garage then in a bar somewhere. Hopefully you will also have some part of the money back over time if you keep the car
which is not usually the case with other "hobbies".

Per

[MoparSam]

..................................

[rick.d]

If it were me, i would be right upfront and say no way. Be very passionate about it too because if your kinda wishy washy about it, she might think if she keeps bothering you about it she will win. Do it in such a way (with all due respect) that she would never bother to ask again...If you can keep it on the sidelines for a while, so as to not take time and effort away from your family, i would say that sounds like a reasonable compromise.

Any cash you got from selling would not last as long as the memories of the Charger, and obviously you would regret selling it, as well as your child when he/she gets older...especially since it was not even your desicion. You know you will regret it down the road.

What would it take to change her mind?

[defiance]

Of course she thinks its a money pit and a waste, but she's never made a single serious complaint.  In fact I was almost to the point of getting rid of it a while back and she talked me down, pointing out that if I did it, I'd regret it.  My wife and I have a really great financial arrangement, and as a result, fights about money just really don't happen.  Basically, we're a two-income household, so we calculate what percent of the income we each contribute, then we contribute that percent of the monthly expenses (bills, house, food, gas, savings, everything).  What's left of mine is mine, and what's left of hers is hers - NO questions asked.  If I want to spend it on the car, whatever; it's mine.

[41husk]

Yes! my wife gives me grief about my cars at least once a week, but she really doesn't mind them.  I think she just needs something to nag me about.  I don't run the local bars, chasing women and getting in trouble.  I have never been in a fight at a car show, can't say the same about a bar. My wife has helped me detail cars at a show.  I believe if your wife likes to nag, even if you sell the car she will find something to give you grief over

[Charger-Bodie]

The main thing she needs to realize is that the car will only be a MAJOR project for a certain amount of time. After you get it to another level where it can be enjoyed thing will be differant,she just needs to know that this is ALSO important to you.

[PocketThunder]

She doesnt look like the nagging type..?...  

I agree with everyone else.  Keep the car.  

[Back N Black]

If you can afford to hold on to the car, keep it. If you family has to do without because of the car get rid of it. 

[Hemidoug]

My first long term girlfriend (10 years) gave me grief about my car......still had the car when I met my wife.

Took the wife (then girlfriend) for a ride in the car....she asked me what happened in my last relationship. I told her my former girlfriend gave me an ultimatum...her or the car.....I didn't have explain anything else after that......and yes, I still have both.

I told her when we got married she had a choice.....cars or bars....she chose wisely. 

[Belgium R/T -68]

Try to get her involved, let her do some work on the car. My wife laid the vinylroof on my charger, since then she always takes her friends
to the garage showing them how great it looks.  Most women has skills with interiorstuff and stripes for example, asking them for assistance
makes them moore interested in the project and understanding about time and cost.

Per

[451-74Charger]

I must have the BEST WIFE in the world then.
Mine told me I am NOT ALLOWED to sell the Charger.
She even buys it (me) gifts on Valentines day, like plugs, starter, fenders etc.
It hasnt left the garage in 9 years, and hasnt had a wrench turned on it in 8.
It just sits currently. but before you all start shouting at me, the last time I was in a position to start on it, we found out we were expecting our son. Well, its getting to that point again where I can start working on it, so I guess ill start buying the daipers now..lol

Anyway, if you can store it, do so. I once got rid of a car because the gf insisted, eventually, i ended up getting rid of the gf and regretting parting with the car.

[b5blue]

Look up "post part em depression" and baby blues. She may be feeling overwhelmed. Give her baby breaks so she can go goof off without worrying about the little one. You got family around to help also? You have a hobby (the car) does she? If the car is your daily driver it can't be an issue if it's not falling apart or unreliable. You may be unconsciously fiddling about on the car when she wants your focus now to be the baby. Men tend to be logical and women emotional, here's a a way to approach it, tell her your concerned and ask for how she feels (not thinks, feels) let her vent and keep her and the baby the center of your attention. Sooner or later she will get sick of your attention and be telling you to go play with your car.    

[TylerCharger69]

It's simple......here's a scenario......woman says..."Is that all you intend to do is work on that car?"......or....."All you care about is that car!".....well.....just respond by saying...."Well....would you rather have me out getting drunk and chasin' women?".......What can she say then!!

[Tilar]

I once got rid of a car because the gf insisted, eventually, i ended up getting rid of the gf and regretting parting with the car.

I did the same thing only mine was a wife at the time. She wanted a different car and talked me into trading a 72 SE Brougham that I had just painted for a 1985 LaBaron Convertible.  I should have got rid of that one sooner.. The wife, not the car. I still have that POS Labaron too. Busted block with 77k miles on it.

[Johnny SixPack]

Here's a small test, Take her and your dog, Put them both in the trunk of the car and go down and get a 6 pack. When you get back, Open the trunk and see which one of them is happy to see you.  

This get's my vote for post of the month. 

I'd take that test, but only if you're paying for bail and my attorney fees. 

[66FBCharger]

I would keep the car. Put it aside if necessary until you have the time and finances to work on it.
I agree with people who have posted here. Get her involved. Take her to a cruise night or car show. You can take the baby too if you get a car seat.
When I hear stories about wives, it makes me appreciate mine. Mine loves that I am involved with cars. She was married to a drunk and never knew where he was. She says that she always knows where I am (in the garage). The kids love to go to cruise nights and car shows. It is something we can all enjoy and do as a family. In fact, we bought my wife a 73 Cuda 340 4 speed a year ago. We put a baby seat in it as soon as we got it and put our newborn ( at the time) in it and we all went to cruise nights and shows.

[Cooter]

I told the wife when I met her That if she could put up with ME she had over 75% of the battle won..The rest was my cars...They were there BEFORE her and will be there after she's gone..I don't cheat on her, beat on her, Do drugs, Not a drunk, And I work for a living...That's as close to that  "Night in Shining armor" you gonna get..If the woman TRULEY loves you, she wouldn't ask you to SELL it, she'd only be understanding when you put it on the back burner and don't spend any money on it for years...

I just simply cannot feel bad for anybody that lets the fear of being alone cause them to sell their rides to please a female...I don't ask mine to sell off what makes HER happy, she ain't gonna ask me to sell what makes ME happy either..It's a 50/50 thing...The only sad part here is there's a kid in the middle of all this...If this is any indication of what LIFE will be like with this female, then you do the math....IMO, they have a name for Females like that...

[89MOPAR]

Of course she thinks its a money pit and a waste, but she's never made a single serious complaint.  In fact I was almost to the point of getting rid of it a while back and she talked me down, pointing out that if I did it, I'd regret it.  My wife and I have a really great financial arrangement, and as a result, fights about money just really don't happen.  Basically, we're a two-income household, so we calculate what percent of the income we each contribute, then we contribute that percent of the monthly expenses (bills, house, food, gas, savings, everything).  What's left of mine is mine, and what's left of hers is hers - NO questions asked.  If I want to spend it on the car, whatever; it's mine.

Great advice above !

My wife and I do something similar.  I have leftover money after contributing to "family fund" and so does she. She makes her car payment and i make mine.  If i want to buy a car part and i have cash i do. if she wants to get some "really cute" baby clothes , or something for herself with her money she does .  But first we put the money into the fund that pays the bills. Therefore we aren't late, and don't use credit cards/ carry a balance.  BUDGET !   Get together, figure out what your REAL expenses are over a period of a few months.  I'm talking house bills, loans, restaurants, beer, gas, everything.  You'll see how much you might waste each month, and can apply that money towards your house savings.  You have to be honest about your spending or it won't work.  But it will save you from so many fights when you are on the same page.

BUDGET means you say-BEFORE the month starts-example-  " we have $2000 net income for Feb.---  $1000 for rent, $200 utilities, $300 food, $100 gas, $200 saving toward house, and $100 each for fun money."  ANd then you live by that budget.  You want the chrome muffler bearing, ok, then you don't buy McDonalds+ triple latte 3 times this week.

If you are living with your mommy or hers, quit spending on the car, and rent your own place !!

Buy a car seat for your car.  Dude, i like driving around, just me and the kid, go to store or whatever. Plus it gives babys mom a break. Which no matter what you think, as a new mom, she needs one.

Make her a deal, one that you keep. Something like- "I will not have the car painted until we've saved 10% toward a house, bought it , and lived there for a year. -or- I won't spend more than XXX dollars a month on the car, unless it absolutley needs it. "    However she should give up something reasonable also.  it's called compromise.  15 years from now, you'll be wondering how you got so old and why the "hotties" don't look at you anymore.  It's then that you'll truly appreciate having a loyal wife and charger.

[bull]

Well, you two are in this together so I think you both need to come up with a plan together rather than compete with each other. Women get very protective of their kids and it seems your wife sees the Charger as a threat to the financial security of the family. A financial plan she agrees to that's designed to cover all the bases would probably reassure her that your no. 1 priority is the family but that there's room for hobbies too. Basically she needs to know that you're not going to let the fridge go empty and the electricity be shut off because you're buying Charger parts whenever you feel like it. Short answer: put together a budget where everybody wins.

[elacruze]

Just tell her you're keeping the car and that's it.        I can tell this is going to just eat at you for a long time if you do sell.   If you do get rid of it, when do you think she will let you get another one ?   NEVER...  She won't leave you because you're keeping your car.  It might get cold on the couch though.       If she did leave you because of the car, it just means she was going to leave sooner or later, but at least you still have your car.      

That's kinda harsh language, but I agree with the bottom line. Here's my take;
1. Understand a Mother and her baby, from a biological perspective. That means to her, nothing comes before the baby.
2. Discuss with her what it will mean to you both long-term; how you'll always have bad feelings if you sell it.
3. Discuss how much you, her, and the baby (hopefully) will enjoy the car over the next 30 years.
4. Agree on a budget. If you have a budget, she can't gripe later. It is just a car, after all, and it will wait for the money.

If she gives you an ultimatum (ie. the car goes or I do) keep in mind that very likely, if it's not the car it will eventually be something else. She'll go or stay as she will, not because of the car.

FWIW, my girl handles all the finance of my ongoing restoration, keeps track of purchases/expenses, and just can't wait until we get to wear out the seats. Of course, her daughter is 21 and paying for her own college....