The real take on Tiger Woods

[b5blue]

Did anyone else see Wanda Sykes take on Tiger's accident outside his home last week? Here is her idea: There was a affair posted in the Enquirer that Tiger was seeing someone on the side. That lead to a late nite fight between he and wife, she popped him one in the mouth. He said screw this I'm outta hear and jumped into his SUV. Backing out he realizes he's bleeding, gets distracted and smacks into the fire hydrant. She runs out screaming waving a 9 iron behind him and whacks the back window as he is trying to pull off the hydrant. He guns it and smacks into the tree. Now he's spent 4 days trying to come up with a different story that still fits the facts.         

[68X426]

Yes. He screwed up.

Now let's move on to the next "world's greatest problem of the last 10 minutes". 

[ACUDANUT]

I could care a less about Him. His trophy wife is another story.

[Silver R/T]

I could care a less about Him. His trophy wife is another story.

No it's simply "interracial love"

[Neal_J]

Eldrick needs to do a Kobe:  buy the wife a house to wear on her ring finger....

[BigRed66]

According to a news report, Tiger allegedly told a buddy earlier in the day that he was on his way to Zale's to get a "Kobe special"...in case you forgot, that's a $4.3M, 8+ Carat Purple Diamond ring...sorry, there's no poonie in the world worth that, caught or not...

Would Zale's (in California, maybe?) even have a ring like that? 

[Smokey Bear]

Who's Tiger Woods? Does he own a Charger?

[Rolling_Thunder]

Would Zale's (in California, maybe?) even have a ring like that? 

It would have to be ordered...   

[Daytona R/T SE]

Who's Tiger Woods?

OJ's next cell mate.

[PocketThunder]

I could care a less about Him. His trophy wife is another story.

Which goes to prove this old saying is correct once again:  "No matter how hot some chick is, some guy out there is tired of banging her"

Just for the record, i dont think i would ever be tired of banging her..

[BB1]

Who cares

[Old Moparz]

I hate golf.

[hemigeno]

I hate golf.

Cow pasture pool?

Or as Harry Truman once said, "A good walk - spoiled..."  ??

[moparstuart]

I hate golf.

Cow pasture pool?

Or as Harry Truman once said, "A good walk - spoiled..."  ??

leasure mans sport   

[Silver R/T]

most boring to watch

[Landonsrt]

WHAT?!!? Thats great nap time when on tv. Calm, quiet crowds, quiet announcers! GREAT TIME!!


No seriously, I hate golf too....

[Ghoste]

I like Swedish bikini models.

[Charger440RDN]

She looks so innocent but she beat the hell out of Tiger with that golf club  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

[greenpigs]

I would rather find out were my 9/16 deep well socket is.

[69bronzeT5]

Who cares

EXACT thing I thought when I saw the thread.

[b5blue]

And yet you felt strangely compelled to read it anyway......I had hoped by now (knowing you guys) every known photo of Tigers cute wife would be posted. 

[PocketThunder]

And yet you felt strangely compelled to read it anyway......I had hoped by now (knowing you guys) every known photo of Tigers cute wife would be posted.  

and whose the only one that stepped up?  thats right...        

Here is one of the side action that came forward today.

[b5blue]

PROP'S to you! Now was she ever on the Swedish ski team? 

[BB1]

 

[PocketThunder]

   on the left that is..   

[Landonsrt]

 

[b5blue]

It is looking like Wanda was right huh? 

[69rtse4spd]

There is always QVC shopping, for the ring. 

[PocketThunder]

more news, he was also banging this Kalika chick in las vegas.. 

[ACUDANUT]

 Really, he must be a racist. (hates black women_

[b5blue]

Wanda nailed it....they just showed photos of the SUV, the wife took out every window on it. Then they played a phone message of him warning the chick his wife may call..... ......that chick is cute but she may cost him millions of dollars.

[greenpigs]

He did it all for the nookie...the nookie.

[BB1]

It's in the hole!  


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg8lSyGavc4&feature=related

[bull]

I wouldn't have posted here but I ran across some of interesting items I'd like to share:

What's the difference between an Escalade and a golf ball? Tiger can't drive an Escalade 300 yards.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

When asked by the police how many times she hit Tiger, Elin replied "I'm not sure, put me down for a 5"

Typical.....whenever a golfer hits a tree, he blames it on his Caddie.

What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common? Both were clubbed by a Norwegian.

[Landonsrt]

There are two sides to this story: The black bought the escalade. The asian, hit the tree...

[bull]

I don't know what Elin is so pissed about? He's supposed to play 19 holes not just two or three.

[Landonsrt]

I wonder what Buick is going to think about him wrecking an Escalade?

[Guns N Rotors]

John is loving every minute of this.

[hemi68charger]

It's done.......... The media should leave him alone. He's not the first to fall off the moral wagon and won't be the last..... Let he and his wife work out their issues. He's been stellar in his support of the military and I respect him for that. He's a craftsman/genius in his profession, whether you like the sport or not. Apparently, like so many other sports figures, the media has placed him on a pedestal and frankly, seem to have no problem kicking the legs out from underneath him.

Troy

[Todd Wilson]

I heard today that Tiger is changing his name to Cheetah!





Todd

[Mike DC]

      

Man, I can already hear Dave Chapelle doing a standup routine about the Tiger Woods thing:  


"Here we go again!  Same as with Michael Jackson!  It's the TIMING, people!  Every time the govt wants to shovel some real iffy sh*t under the public's radar, some celebrity goes and does somethin real stupid and diverts our attention."

 

[ACUDANUT]

 I liked Dave Chapelle , but he has quit the business.  I think he had alot of peer pressure about the Black, White supremacists. That sket was funny as hell.
BTW I still think Tiger is a racist. (hates his own color) 

[celticcutie]

Here we go again ....another person cheating on their spouse. Big deal...if you look closely enough it's probably happened(/ing ) in your household too. I just don't want to read about it on the front page of my newspaper.

[PocketThunder]

Here we go again ....another person cheating on their spouse. Big deal...if you look closely enough it's probably happened(/ing ) in your household too. I just don't want to read about it on the front page of my newspaper.

I thought my hand wasn't cheating!   

[celticcutie]

Here we go again ....another person cheating on their spouse. Big deal...if you look closely enough it's probably happened(/ing ) in your household too. I just don't want to read about it on the front page of my newspaper.

I thought my hand wasn't cheating!   

[b5blue]

I agree it's back page at best for a country at war with our men and women killing and being killed every day! In a time of HIV and H1N1 micro cameras and recorders, all the crap flying around on the web, even TMZ and poperatzies (sp?) a guy with his money and fame wouldn't need/want to stray. I started this on the belly laugh I got from Wanda's comments and now it's no joke.....she was correct! (I don't follow golf or gossip and didn't even know Tiger was married)

[moparstuart]

  I have to order me a set of these     


   http://www.youtube.com/v/jkOYF7Un_iM

[PocketThunder]

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All
the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly
can
leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm
smart
and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of
the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches
would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

[jaak]

Here we go again ....another person cheating on their spouse. Big deal...if you look closely enough it's probably happened(/ing ) in your household too. I just don't want to read about it on the front page of my newspaper.

I thought my hand wasn't cheating!   

Thanks, now I got tea all over my computer screen! 

Jason

[BB1]

  I have to order me a set of these     


   http://www.youtube.com/v/jkOYF7Un_iM

Billy D you Da man.  

[Silver R/T]

This is way too screwed up. He has millions of dollars to spend, he doesn't break a sweat when he's "working" if you call work playing golf and he has beautiful wife. Then he's gotta go and **** around with bimbos

[SeattleCharger]

This is way too screwed up. He has millions of dollars to spend, he doesn't break a sweat when he's "working" if you call work playing golf and he has beautiful wife. Then he's gotta go and **** around with bimbos

 no doubt, he screws a young waitress and doens't expect its going to get out?   no discretion at all, multi millions could afford some high class keep your mouth shut call girl, but he does some bimbos, AND he leaves messages on voice mail, what an big idiot.     not surprising it all comes out and backfires like this, what does he expect?  I say it again, what an idiot      

[Mike DC]

 
For someone like Tiger it was probably the thrill of the chase as much as anything.  Just paying for a ho doesn't give a guy the rush of scoring a new random chick out of the public at large.   


These two methods of cheating may be virtually the same in real world terms, but the principle of the thrill would likely be different.

[jeryst]

Maybe the home course wasnt open that much, so he thought he'd play in some others.

Most married guys know that after a while, it's not the same as it used to be before you got married. She's gorgeous, but still, just another woman.

Men get married for sex. Women get married for security.

A friend of mine once commented that they have less time for sex because they spend more of their time bitchin. Then when the guy cheats, they act like it was his fault.

I think he may be on to something there. 

[RECHRGD]

 
For someone like Tiger it was probably the thrill of the chase as much as anything.  Just paying for a ho doesn't give a guy the rush of scoring a new random chick out of the public at large.   


These two methods of cheating may be virtually the same in real world terms, but the principle of the thrill would likely be different.

I doubt that Tiger had to "chase" any of those women.  Wealth and fame are quite an aphrodisiac for most ladies.  Do you think his wife would have ever looked twice at him if was an accountant or car salesman?

[moparstuart]

Tiger Woods' Holiday Poem***

**'Twas the night of Thanksgiving**
**and out of the house**
**Tiger Woods, he came flying**
**Chased by his spouse.**

**She wielded a 9 iron**
**And wasn't too merry**
**'cause a bimbo's phone #**
**she found on his blackberry.**

**He had been cheating **
**On poor little Elin,**
**and as each day went by**
**Another whore came out squeallin'**

**He'd been on Holly, on Jamie**
**On Rachel, on Corey,**
**On Joslyn, Kaleeka**
**TMZ had the story.**

**From the top of the world **
**To above the fold**
**Tiger's ever more sordid **
**Tale it was told.**

**With hostesses, waitresses**
**He had lots of sex,**
**And when he wasn't hosin' 'em**
**He sent 'em hot texts.**

**He crashed his Caddie**
**But didn't call On-Star**
**He played "spank me Daddy'**
**With a skanky old porn star**

**He's been naughty **
**With Santa, he hasn't a chance,**
**'cept a big lump of coal**
**to match the lump in his pants.**

**But despite all his crying **
**And begging and pleadin'**
**His wife went right out**
**And bought a new house in Sweden.**

**And I heard her exclaim**
**As she packed up the escalade**
**'If you're gonna get laid,**
**Then, I'm gonna get paid!"**

**Now, she's not pouting**
**In fact, she's of good cheer**
**Her Pre-nup made Christmas**
**Come early this year!***

[268RTs4ME]

Yeah the cop ask her how many time she hit him? and she said... put me down for a 5

[b5blue]

 

[Mike DC]

I doubt that Tiger had to "chase" any of those women.  Wealth and fame are quite an aphrodisiac for most ladies.  Do you think his wife would have ever looked twice at him if was an accountant or car salesman?

In practical terms I agree with you.  Tiger wouldn't be pulling that kind of wife without the extreme money and fame.  Probably not even close. 



But still, it's the principle of the thing.  

Think about it - it's always a bit of an ego boost when a woman is ga-ga over you, even if she's one of the uglier chicks at the party that night.  Maybe you would hit it or maybe you wouldn't, but either way I would expect it still feels like more of an approval than anything coming from any paid hooker.

[Back N Black]

Maybe the home course wasnt open that much, so he thought he'd play in some others.

Most married guys know that after a while, it's not the same as it used to be before you got married. She's gorgeous, but still, just another woman.

Men get married for sex. Women get married for security.

A friend of mine once commented that they have less time for sex because they spend more of their time bitchin. Then when the guy cheats, they act like it was his fault.

I think he may be on to something there. 

Not sure if your a guy or gal, but if you got married for sex or security, it was obviously for the wrong reason.   

[ACUDANUT]

 Hey Tiger was only playing golf with these white girls. 9 of them equals 18 holes.

[jeryst]

Hey Tiger was only playing golf with these white girls. 9 of them equals 18 holes.

Check your math. 6 of them equals 18 holes

[ACUDANUT]

 You check Your Math...Not if they are only "2 holers".  

[BB1]

Wait... he's thinking about the putt. I think he's going to use the 9 iron.

[SeattleCharger]

I doubt that Tiger had to "chase" any of those women.  Wealth and fame are quite an aphrodisiac for most ladies.  Do you think his wife would have ever looked twice at him if was an accountant or car salesman?

In practical terms I agree with you.  Tiger wouldn't be pulling that kind of wife without the extreme money and fame.  Probably not even close. 



But still, it's the principle of the thing.  

Think about it - it's always a bit of an ego boost when a woman is ga-ga over you, even if she's one of the uglier chicks at the party that night.  Maybe you would hit it or maybe you wouldn't, but either way I would expect it still feels like more of an approval than anything coming from any paid hooker.

[b5blue]

Can someone photoshop Tiger working off the back of a garbage truck so I can get a visual of our "blasian" buddy babe magnet all humble? 

[nh_mopar_fan]

Has this been posted already?

Very funny.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/tiger-woods-accident/1182383/

[SeattleCharger]

Has this been posted already?

Very funny.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/tiger-woods-accident/1182383/

            tiger's wife -> <- tiger
                                   

[Steve P.]

Hell, his publicist will spin the crap out of this and he'll be everyone's hero again..    I think I heard that Tiger was blaming this all on his golf pro due to him teaching him how to SWING........  I think he forgot to teach his wife... 

[skip68]

This goes to show you that the family that plays together, stays together.  If you swing alone, you will be alone.   

[Johnny SixPack]

And now, for the fool who has everything...

click pic for link

[moparstuart]

 this is a great game        7 under and only one got through the first time   LOL



      http://www.atom.com/fun_games/tiger_woods_defense/?xrs=eml_121709

[SeattleCharger]

this is a great game        7 under and only one got through the first time   LOL

             http://www.atom.com/fun_games/tiger_woods_defense/?xrs=eml_121709
     

that is awesome, heh,   par on first try, one got through,      

      7 under   ,  you could be Tiger's PR man