A twitter gem :"sh*tmydadsays"

[Ponch ®]

Somebody sent me this link to twitter. funniest stuff I've read in a while:

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
*  Name: Justin
* Bio: I'm 29. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says

Some examples:

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

"I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing f***g makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' f***g umbrella in it"

"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

[MichaelRW]

Good stuff. Sounds like things Clint Eastwood's character in Gran Torino would have said.

[Todd Wilson]

Somebody sent me this link to twitter. funniest stuff I've read in a while:

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
*  Name: Justin
* Bio: I'm 29. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says

Some examples:

"
"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

HAHA!   Words to live by!


Todd

[Khyron]

* Khyron runs out and poops in the 2009 Challenger down the road.

I OWN IT!

[b5blue]

 

[ZSmithersCharges]

Hahaha if only my dad was that awesome... I would probably visit him more.  

"I turn the kitchen faucet on and the shower burns you, yes, I get it...No, I'm not gonna stop, I'm just saying yes, I get that concept."

[bull]

That was really, really funny. I just about pi$$ed my pants from laughing so hard. Thanks for posting it.

I agree with the Gran Torino comment. He totally reminded me of that character. It's good the son can look past the grouchiness to see the blatant humor in it. Most kids of a guy like that would probably just avoid the old fart and write him off.

[dkn1997]

words to live by:

"Happy birthday, I didn't get you a present...Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then too, unless it's shitty."

[Forza]

"Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you."

This guy needs to work for Hallmark!

[Blown70]

LMFAO....LOVE THAT.

[PocketThunder]

   "The dog is not bored, it's a fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."     

[Old Moparz]

There is some pretty funny quotes on there.   


"Happy birthday, I didn't get you a present...Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then too, unless it's shitty."

"It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"

"How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes."

"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."

[b5blue]

Really!! Follow the link...read them all...my son and I cracked up!" Your not Sh-t, You don't have Sh-t. Don't get me wrong...I'm trying to cheer you up!" 

[dkn1997]

Anyone else have any gems from their own dads?  I'll start...

My dad, talking about his cousin (young cousin, more my age really):

"He's not a bad kid, he's just an asshole" 

[PocketThunder]

Not my Dad, but a buddy of mine always like to say "she's getting all kittywampus on us" whenever we are building something and it doesnt square up.  Which i reply, no its more like a "monkey humping a football".