click and clack

[nh_mopar_fan]

Anyone ever listen to these guys.

Kinda entertaining.

They have a weekly puzzler.

Here is this weeks:


RAY: This was submitted by Marty Kaponowski. Here it is:

    'It was a dark and stormy night. I was late getting out of work and I
    was hurrying a wee bit. Truth be known it was my wife's birthday and if
    I got home too late... well, need I elaborate?

    'I had decided on a short cut, a seldom used dirt road in the middle of
    nowhere. I took a turn a little too fast and found myself in the fight
    of my life trying to avoid crashing into a tree. When I finally came to
    a stop my car had three wheels touching the road, but the right front
    corner of the car was resting on the underbody and the right front
    wheel was dangling over the roadside drainage ditch about a foot from
    the mud and the twigs below.

    'I wasn't about to call my wife, obviously. And if I called for a tow
    truck my wife would problably have had the divorce papers filled out
    before he could even hook me up. I was on my own and I knew it. Boy, I
    wished I'd had a four-wheel-drive truck but I didn't. Instead I had a
    front-wheel-drive Corolla with one of those front wheels in the ditch.

    'Now everyone who's ever been stuck on ice or mud or whatever knows
    that the wheel with the best traction gets none of the engine's power
    with all of it going to the other wheels. So when you're on ice, the
    wheel on the ice spins like crazy and the wheel on dry pavement just
    sits there. And in this case the one dangling over the ditch was the
    one with no traction. What to do, what to do?

    'I opened the trunk and looked for inspiration. I thought about using
    the jack in some clever way, but I didn't have one. I opened the
    toolbox that I keep in the trunk and I found the following: a can of
    Bumble Bee tuna, a screwdriver, a pair of vice grips, a roll of
    electrical tape, a flashlight and a tube of hemorrhoid cream and no
    Fillipo Berio olive oil. So the question is which one of these did I
    use and how?

Anyone?

[Magnumcharger]

Stick the screwdriver into the can of fish, drain it on the wheel on the road, lather it with the ass cream, then the other tire should grab...huh?

Either that, or use the flashlight to beat the Corolla to pieces...

[1BAD68]

I would try wedging the toolbox under the wheel and slowly feather it, after a few times it should be unstuck.

[NHCharger]

I'd let my wife divorce me.

[lisiecki1]

use the toolbox to hold the brake pedal down, then clamp the vise grips on the suspended tires brake line, remove tool box, back out onto road, remove vise grip, go home.

[Sublime/Sixpack]

One idea would be to use the vice grips to clamp onto the right front brake rotor so it would hit against the caliper and cause the power to go to the left front wheel/tire. Once the right front tire is on solid ground just release the vice grips and be on your way.

[hemigeno]

Shove the screwdriver through a slot in the wheel, thereby wedging either the handle or the blade between the wheel and the brake caliper?

[cpthowdy1369]

Ya, let the wife divorce me, if she's going to divorce me after the crap I just went through to get home, then who needs that bitch around?

[last426]

Shove the screwdriver through a slot in the wheel, thereby wedging either the handle or the blade between the wheel and the brake caliper?

That's what I thought of when I heard it last week.  But that seems a little to ... something.  Kim

[dodgecharger-fan]

Disable the traction control on the car. Drive out.

[FlatbackFanatic]

Its just a Corolla, you go down in the ditch pick-up the front of the car and push it out. No problem. be a man....

[lisiecki1]

Disable the traction control on the car. Drive out.

that wouldn't work....traction control cuts the amount of power to the wheels with less traction....if anything you should turn traction control on....

[dodgecharger-fan]

but the wheel in the air has less traction... and you don't want power going to it at all...

'Now everyone who's ever been stuck on ice or mud or whatever knows
    that the wheel with the best traction gets none of the engine's power
    with all of it going to the other wheels. So when you're on ice, the
    wheel on the ice spins like crazy and the wheel on dry pavement just
    sits there. And in this case the one dangling over the ditch was the
    one with no traction. What to do, what to do?

[lisiecki1]

but the wheel in the air has less traction... and you don't want power going to it at all...

'Now everyone who's ever been stuck on ice or mud or whatever knows
    that the wheel with the best traction gets none of the engine's power
    with all of it going to the other wheels. So when you're on ice, the
    wheel on the ice spins like crazy and the wheel on dry pavement just
    sits there. And in this case the one dangling over the ditch was the
    one with no traction. What to do, what to do?

right, but if you disabled traction control, it would let power go to the wheel with less traction, which would defeat your purpose in this case..

[nh_mopar_fan]

Correct answer:

>a can of Bumble Bee tuna, a screwdriver, a pair of vice grips, a roll
    >of electrical tape, a flashlight and a tube of hemorrhoid cream

    RAY: Here's the answer. He used the vise grips.

    TOM: Let me think about it for a few hours.

    RAY: How about a week? Well, since the dawn of humankind,
    front brakes on vehicles have had flexible rubber hoses
    going to them. In order for the wheels to turn left and right, you
    can't have a rigid brake line going, you have to have a flexible
    tubing.

    TOM: Of course.

RAY: With the vise grips, Marty clamped off or restricted the flow of
    fluid to the left front brake - the one that was on the pavement. And
    then he got in the car, started it up and stepped on the brakes.

    When he stepped on the brakes he stopped the right wheel from turning
    because pressure is going to the right front wheel but no pressure is
    going to the left front wheel. And even though some pressure is going
    to the back wheels, he managed to get enough power going to that left
    front wheel for which there was no braking action and that got him out.

[lisiecki1]

So......I was half right?