Need Advice from the family guys

[PocketThunder]

My spouse and I are thinking about selling our huge ass house and buying down in order to afford her staying home part time with our kid (and future kids) in the near future.  We have a 7 month old boy now and he's a blast!  He already wants a Charger .  We'd like to pro-create again real soon (i'd like to every night) and we are at the point of choosing between:

1) Stay here and have a 2nd kid and barely get by.  Hoping that raises and such will cover hidden expenses.  All my Charger money comes from side jobs.
2) Sell and buy down, Moma works part time, and we have a cracker box house but plenty of "extra money" for emergencies and fun stuff.

After 5 nights of deliberation in front of the amortization tables, we're at option #2.  So Charger_Fan knows i'll be losing my Taj-Garage but oh well, i can build a bigger one at the next place.  But i'd like to get some 3rd party opinions from you guys on what to do.  The worst part about moving is that our neighbors are the NICEST people we have met in any place we have lived at.  and living in the middle of the city its hard to give that up.  And we are 2 blocks from our Church and our kids future school so thats hard to get by.  but i guess its not like you can let your kids walk to school on there own anymore anyways.....

So, anyways, what have you guys done to make ends meet for your familiies? 

thanks
Paul in St. Paul.....

[TruckDriver]

2) Sell and buy down, Moma works part time, and we have a cracker box house but plenty of "extra money" for emergencies and fun stuff.

[BigBlackDodge]

Sounds like option 2 is the way to go then.

To many people live on the financial edge...............one small accident (medical or whatever).........and you'll be behind the eight ball. \


BBD

[Drache]

Well you could always move into your garage and sell the house, then pay rent to the new owner of the house?

On the serious note though, I've been in this almost exact same location except without the kid. You won't need the large house at first and it will only create more problems. Get the smaller house, save your side money, and then get the large ass house once again when the money is better or just build an addition to the small house. You'll feel a lot happier for it. There will be less stress this way and a lot less chances for fighting with the missus because you are both stressed out over something.

[dart3404]

2) Sell and buy down, Moma works part time, and we have a cracker box house but plenty of "extra money" for emergencies and fun stuff.

  You can always get a bigger house when the kids are older.

[bull]

The best thing to do in any financial quandary is offload any and all debt with the exception of the mortgage. If you can trade down the house and eliminate debt without spending a lot on refinance charges I would go that way (if you have way more house than you need). Interest rates are still very low. We just refinanced and got a fixed rate of 5.135%. Dumping a paid-for classic car doesn't really get you too far toward you goals because the money becomes too liquid an asset compared to a classic car and often gets spent on non-essential items that won't appreciate the way a classic car does. If you're not putting regular funding into the car (such as payments with interest) I would keep it. If it's a debt source I would get rid of it and save for another one to buy with cash. The good thing about classic cars compared to new cars is 1. They do not depreciate in value. 2. You do not have to pay for regular maintenance and upgrades (they can sit while you save) 3. They are fairly quick and easy to sell in case you have an emergency. Houses are the same way, usually. Our house has gone up in value from $167,500 to $234,000 since we bought it new 3 years ago. So rule #1 -- get rid of all debt except for the mortgage, and then try paying that off ASAP. Save up $1,000 for emergencies as fast as you can and then start paying off any other debt you might have such as credit cards, student loans, etc. Once the debt is paid off (except the mortgage) and you have your $1,000 emergency fund save up another 3 months worth of wages in case you lose your job. I also reccomend you get "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey.

[69_500]

Hey pocket, when it comes to this, me and my wife are going through the same thing.

Our decision is to put this house up for sale, and if it sells then great, and we can find a smaller cheaper house to live in. If it doesn't sell very quickly then she is going to look for another job. But we both like having her stay at home with our son, and think that is 1000 times better than day care.

Just my opinion, i'd say let her stay at home with the kids, and get a smaller house.

[PocketThunder]

Well you could always move into your garage and sell the house, then pay rent to the new owner of the house?

I'm with ya Drake, but I already tried that one. 

Hey pocket, when it comes to this, me and my wife are going through the same thing.

Our decision is to put this house up for sale, and if it sells then great, and we can find a smaller cheaper house to live in. If it doesn't sell very quickly then she is going to look for another job. But we both like having her stay at home with our son, and think that is 1000 times better than day care.

Just my opinion, i'd say let her stay at home with the kids, and get a smaller house.

We've tried the other job thing but she doesnt see much out there that she likes and her job now will let her work half days if she wants.  So. were gonna go with selling the house and buying down i think. 

We have no debt except for my student loan of $8000, which is cheap at a 3% interest rate.  All Charger parts are paid for in cash, i learned the hard way on my last restoration, where i bought stuff on my credit card.  it took me 5 years to pay for that one. 

PT

[Silver R/T]

what about apt? and rent your house to someone, possibly a few people if its that big

[Dodge-Charger]

OK man Here is what we have done and we have 2 kids and my car thing going on so here it goes.

   we have gotten out from under any debt that we could then sold what was not needed. We moved out from any city limits so we could get better rates on buyin. I am 30 min from work but oh well its worth it. For the first 2 years I drove ( and owned ) only one Charger and she drove the mini Van ( 3000 cash ).  We saved what we could and I took my lunch to work just to save more. We would only go out to eat once maybe twice a month. A big change being as before we had kids we would go out about 4 times a week to eat. I kept her away from Wal-Mart and she kept me out of the parts stores. It wont fun but it was worth it. ( atleast now )
  For the past 4 years I have put her through school kept up the bills and put my oldest girl in dance for the past 2 years. I started to do side jobs so she wouldnt have to work and she could stay home with the kids. Still saving money any chance i got. MAIN THING !!! SAVE MONEY !!! any chance you get.
  Sell your house , and rent something CHEAP till you find the right house. Dont jump on the first thing you find. Save up after that and your bank account will surprise you. 2 accounts is better. One for every day the other to hide from the wife. ( unless you are the one who spends for no reson ) then she needs to hide it from you. Dont touch your saveings till you need it. ( sick kid, broke car, so on and so on )

with 1 kid and thinking of another you wont want to work all the time. You will miss time with the kids and start missing work at the wrong job. Might end up loosing the good one.
    Just my .02  from a guy that lived just above povertiy for a year to get ahead quick.

[Old Moparz]

Around 1995 the company I had been with died. I was traveling over 120 miles every day, but I found a job closer to home just 3-1/2 miles away. I took a 30% pay cut, but saved on commuting costs. My wife worked & earned more than me, but she still commuted 100 miles each day. We had gotten expensive estimates to build a garage, so I decided to build it myself. About a year after I was done, we had our daughter & my wife stayed home for the next 4 years. With just having paid cash for all the materials to build the garage & my wife not working, it was tough financially.

We had enough money in a savings account for emergencies & certain expenses, but there was no extra for the Mopars. I had my Satellite ragtop & my Scamp, & just got rid of a '68 Cuda ragtop to keep the Coronet ragtop. We rode it out for those years & she now works part time for the school & the hours are perfect with our daughter's hours. I'm making a lot more since she was born & eventually we had money again for the Mopars. We really like where we are, we like the house, the neighbors & the nice garage, so moving wouldn't be on the top of our list of things to do.

The expense of the move will be a lot more than you ever plan. Don't forget about closing costs on BOTH houses, realtor's commissions, replacing certain items that won't fit in the new house, or things that the new house might not have at all. Storage for the cars, parts & whatever else you may have that won't fit. Are you moving everything in your car, or paying a moving company? Add these things up & the savings you tried to get may be spent. I would suggest staying where you are & ride out the tight finances for a while.

As long as you have a place to keep the cars it won't be the end of the world if you have to close the door on the garage for a couple of years. I did & don't regret it at all.

Good luck, you'll need it.
Bob

[NHCharger]

Been there, done that. I almost lost everything during the last recession (91-93). Try to find a smaller house that you could add on to in the future. My wife and I did the same thing. After our first son in 85 we decided she should stay home and raise him, # 2 son came in 89. The only problem was I ended up working 60-70 hours a week to make ends meet (really sucked). When my wife tried to get back into the workforce during the recession the only job that worked was she worked on a cleaning crew at night so I could be with the boys and not pay a sitter. We sold our house in 97, rented a house for 2 years while I looked for land and built a house in 99. Ended up being a bigger house but being a contractor my wife and I  did a lot of the work.
So I agree that option #2 would be your best bet.
Also tell your wife that with pro-creating practice makes perfect.

[psykicpup]

Definitely think you should go for option 2. Just remember tho you are doing this to get to somewhere better in your lives not 'cos you have to to ( it sounds like you can afford the house you have right now at least until your wife changes her hours)
Take your time you may find a smaller/cheaper house near to where you are if you don't rush into anything.
It may be worthwhile selling this house & renting till you finds the right place....
Has your wife looked into Childminding a lot of my friends did that when their kids were small for extra income while spending time this the kids

hope it works out well for you 

[General_01]

I am not sure what your finances are PT. Have you looked at other houses in an area you would like to move to. Have you compared the prices of those homes to the value of your present home. In the last few years I have noticed that you pay more for a lot less with homes. If you like the neighbors and the house and the area, I would try to stay there if at all possible. Maybe if you know some people with kids, Katy can watch some other kids in the daytime to make some money while at home. Essentially, start a daycare. Just an idea.

On a side note. Both my wife and I work. I worked part-time when or oldest was born until she was 2 1/2 and our youngest was 1. We put them in daycare and I have worked FT ever since as well as my wife. Our kids have made great friends and have had a wonderful time. They go back to daycare every summer. They are 9 1/2 and 8 now. Yes, it cost's money. We had to pay for that instead of other things we wanted. Also, remember the cost of daycare usually goes down as your child gets older. I just wanted to give you a positive view about daycare.

[Charger_Fan]

That's a tough call, PT. There's been a lot of good points made here for either option.

When we first started out, my wife & I decided that childcare wasn't the way we wanted to go either, so she stayed home with 3 kids while I went to work. For the 1st 12 years, I worked 8am to 6pm...6 days a week. Those were some tight years.
Once the kids were in junior high, she got a part time job that had her home in the afternoons when the kids came home.

Looking back, it's hard to say whether going the no-childcare route was worth it or not.
On one hand, we always had well mannered kids (until late teens, with the oldest ) because my wife was always there to keep them in line.
On the other hand, my there were many days when my wife was at her wit's end by the time I got home...mostly when they were young. I felt bad, but at the time, we didn't feel that there weren't many other options for us.


As far as downsizing the house plan, I'm torn between the two.
If you already have a good neighborhood, where the neighbors are nice & the kids aren't out causing problems (graffiti, vandalism, drugs, etc.)...that alone is practically priceless.
If you sell, you may not end up in an optimal neighborhood...therefore taxing your mental health.

Bottom line; I hate decisions like this.
Good luck with whichever way you decide to go & I wish you the best.

[dkn1997]

keep the house you want and put your side work money into the family/house instead of the car. 

[41husk]

I wish we had stayed in a smaller home when my kids were young.  we became a slave to the house. now that the kids are gone it is to big and I would like to down size.

[Charger_Fan]

I wish we had stayed in a smaller home when my kids were young.  we became a slave to the house. now that the kids are gone it is to big and I would like to down size.

Well?



Whuzz holdin' ya back?

[KMPX2]

Go for the smaller house with a big garge

[41husk]

yep! one bedroom house with a four car garage high enough for a lift.  Hell! a poll barn with a roll away and a toilet

[Steve P.]

Damn good question with an equally hard answer.. I can tell you this. When I broke my back in 97', I couldn't work and my job was playing all the leagal games they could. We had a decent size house with a pool and a few other niceties. My wife doesn't work as she has MS. so this left us living on our savings for about 8 months.. Well with 2 daughters and a new roof needed, we cooked through the savings pretty damn quick.. Many thousands!! 
Well we sold the house with the idea that we would make some money, get away from some bad neighbors and buy something smaller and easier to maintain... HA!!!!!!  We did buy smaller.... Within a week my wife was busting out walls and ripping down the 1978 era crap.. 3 years later we have a totally remodeled house with a new 2 bay shop out back. I'm presently building a block/wood mail box and this house needs a roof.. Our bills are right back up there and we have a new A-HOLE neighbor that loves to rev the shiP out of his Honda,( wanna-be ), Harley...

I guess what I am saying is this, if you are happy with were you live and it's a good place for your children, do what you have to do to stay where you are comfortable and secure.. Schools are HUGE.. I would say to put the car away for now and put your car money away for that rainy day.. They are coming!! Small houses suck!! Not very private and normally too close to the neighbors..

I do enjoy NOT having a pool any longer!! They are a pain to maintain... Costly too!!

Good luck brother.. Think hard before you make a move you could regret for the rest of your life..

PS. The big house is also a status symbol....  Makes a difference sometimes who your kids hang with and so on.....

[PocketThunder]

Well guys, and gals, 

We are going to move.   

I just told the neighbors on both sides and they are very sad to hear the news.   

The school we want our kids to go to is 2 blocks away now, but when we move it'll be at most 2 miles away, so we can still go there.   

The neighborhoods at another address are probably going to have just as nice of people as we have here, so i'm sure the neighbor situation will work out.  We're pretty likeabe people so where ever we go we'll fit in just fine.   

I dont want to count on my side job money as part of the family budget.  We have no debt besides the mortgage and one student loan for $8600.  We just spent the last 6 years since we graduated from college paying off credit cards, two car loans, one student loan, etc...  So living a tight budget has been trying on us over that last 5 years of marriage and we're still married.  Now we'd like to be on easy street while we attempt to raise a family. 

So thanks for all the real life experiences, my spouse and i read thru them all weekend and they have helped up justify selling our home.  I'll see you guys tomorrow.....

Paul

[Dodge-Charger]

Well sounds like it will work then. 

Now for the bad part,,,,,,, Havein to pack up and move again. I think thats more tryin than bills.

   Good Luck on your new place.

[PocketThunder]

Well sounds like it will work then.  

Now for the bad part,,,,,,, Havein to pack up and move again. I think thats more tryin than bills.

    Good Luck on your new place.

Ya i think we're gonna finally give in and hire movers this time.  I dont want to ask my friends agiain and again.  Even though they have offered, and all it costs me is a case of beer.   (not a keg, we are getting old and cant drink like we used to )

[Charger_Fan]

Very well.
Here's hoping things work out well for you & Mrs. PT & PT junior & future PT's...

[PocketThunder]

Very well.
Here's hoping things work out well for you & Mrs. PT & PT junior & future PT's...

Thanks man,

According to the Ancient Chinese Birth Chart  http://www.eternaldreams.com/astrology/chinese_birth_chart.htm  we gotta fire blanks over the deck untill Sept and Oct if we want to try for a Girl this time....  This Chart worked last time and we got a boy....

[Charger_Fan]

we gotta fire blanks over the deck untill Sept and Oct if we want to try for a Girl this time....  

Ok, well don't put out an eye doing that.

[41husk]

good luck to you and your family.

[4402tuff4u]

If you do move and buy another house, you might want to consider buying a house with an apartment (mother and daughter type of deal - "legal"). That might help you pay the mortage and if you ever want more room, you can occupy the apartment or make it rooms for your expanding family. 

[73dodge]

Smart move

It's never easy doing something for the good of the family but it's better than owning more house than you can afford and then always worrying about money

[Charger_Croatia]

Wise decision PT, good luck.
Money issue is big thing when you have family, I know that from experience. We were so tight with money when we got daughter (she is 6 now) but we have managed to go through. You have a chance to be on easy street as you said so do it. You will see difference.

BTW, that Chinese Birth Chart calendar didn't work for me. Maybe little white ones were confused as that happened just beginning on may so they couldn't decide.