My favorite news item this week so far.....

[TheGhost]

damn...whats this world coming to? That kid's mother is a moron...doesnt she know how much that stuff is worth and shes givin it to a 5 year old?

Maybe the kid is a child prodegy genious, and is really the boss?  Who would suspect an innocent little 5 year old?

[Spartan]

Jim Rome was talking bout this lat week.  The thing is, they will probably make out on the deal (no pun intended).  They will make money in some hose-rag for being scanks.  Nothing like getting it on in a in a sanitary public restroom! 

[TeeWJay426]

damn...whats this world coming to? That kid's mother is a moron...doesnt she know how much that stuff is worth and shes givin it to a 5 year old?

Intelligence is NOT a requirement to breed..........

[TheGhost]

Jim Rome was talking bout this lat week.  The thing is, they will probably make out on the deal (no pun intended).  They will make money in some hose-rag for being scanks.  Nothing like getting it on in a in a sanitary public restroom! 

Penthouse offered them 400k APIECE if they re-enact the bathroom love scene for them.

[Telvis]

I wonder if they would let me be a stand in if one of them backs out?  I'd do it for half price too.

[Headrope]

I've posted this before in another thread, but it's even funnier each time I read it - and definitely deserves a spot here:

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/suspects/17071

I WAS BIGFOOT'S LOVE SLAVE
Lumberjack's story of forbidden love will amaze you!
By MIKE FOSTER

TACOMA, Wash. - Burly lumberjack Leon Verdell says he was kidnapped in the woods by a Bigfoot who kept him as a love slave for three long months!

But far from being traumatized by the hairy experience, Verdell says he's gotten accustomed to life with the towering, fur-covered companion he's come to call Wookums - and he never wants to go home!

"Wookums doesn't look like anything I've ever seen, but I've learned to look beyond physical appearance," says the 38-year-old woodsman. "Inside, Wookums is kind, sensitive and nurturing - and accepts me for who I am."

The bizarre development has enraged his wife of 10 years, Denise Verdell, who spent three months desperately combing the forest for her hubby, after he vanished without a trace on June 15.

"I searched every inch of those woods, I even hired professional outdoorsmen to help me find Leon. I was worried sick, thinking that he was stranded somewhere, maybe pinned under a fallen tree or caught in an old bear trap, suffering," says Denise.

"But when I finally tracked him down he was living with that horrible beast.

"He's no longer the man I married - he's a changed man. He told me he doesn't want to come home, and that's fine by me - I've filed for divorce."

Leon says his strange odyssey began when he was working with a 15-man crew in the foothills of Mt. Rainier. As the robust 6-foot-2 lumberjack took a break to answer nature's call in the bushes, he had the eerie feeling he was being watched.

"I figured I must be imagining things," he recalls. "Then, just when I zipped up my fly I saw this huge creature come barreling out of the woods. It was 8 feet tall and covered head to toe with fur like an ape.

"I turned and tried to run, but the Bigfoot grabbed me by the collar. Next thing I knew, it scooped me up, tossed me over its shoulder and carted me off."

Leon says the Bigfoot carried him for many miles, before arriving at its cave.

"I was scared stiff because I thought it was going to eat me," he says. "Then it got this funny look in its eyes and started stroking my cheeks tenderly. It stood there in the cave, batting its long, thick eyelashes, with this huge grin on its face.

"Then it pounced on me, ripped all my clothes off and had its way with me."

Over the succeeding months, the lumberjack claims, the Bigfoot became more gentle in its attentions and the odd couple gradually established a domestic routine.

"Wookums would go out and forage for fruits, nuts, berries and small animals, and I would prepare them," Leon says.

"I also tried to keep the cave clean and decorated it with rocks and twigs I found. Wookums seemed to appreciate my labors - unlike my own human wife.

"For the first time in my life, I felt truly loved and needed."

When frantic wife Denise, accompanied by a professional tracker and his bloodhounds, finally found Leon on Sept. 18, he was in no need of rescue.

"The two of them were there cuddling in the cave like a pair of teenagers," disgusted Denise recalls. "When I asked Leon what was going on, he shouted, 'Go away - we don't need you.'"

Denise dragged her husband back to Tacoma just long enough to sign divorce papers and says she doesn't care what he does "as long as he sends my alimony checks."

Leon now says he wants to return to the woods and spend the rest of his life with his Bigfoot in the remote lair, the location of which he refuses to divulge.

"I've never been happier," he insists. "I'm staying with Wookums forever."



Published on: 11/09/2001