THIS IS TOO FUNNY!!!!!

[bigcountry]

This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.

Ladies -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed . Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear....

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shop ping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'  
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b*%ch knows I'm smarter than her.

[cpthowdy1369]

AAAAAHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

[tan top]

      good one 

[FlatbackFanatic]

WOW! that was great!

[FLG GF]

  If that was my guy i sooo wouldnt punish him for that

[richard pettys 73]

  THAT WAS HILARIOUS

[bigred68]

 HA! funny! I'll bet you and the wife don't go shoping for a looong while once  you get home!! Take care John! Be safe!
 

[68pplcharger]

That is Fu%&*#g great

[426HemiCharger]

  First part but if you call her a bitch you'll  never get laid, plus if you're in it only for the sex-I'd like to see how long it is till you break up, Its unhealthy 

[waroc]

 

[69charger2002]

that was awesome lol

[Forza]

LMAO That's just fkn priceless! 

[BROCK]

Glad to see FLG GF has a cool responce!  I decided not to show my wife

[dukeboy320]

Fu***** CLASSIC

[Charger666]

LMAO!!!!
THATS AWESOME       

[SmashingPunkFan]

Wow!!! lmfao!!

[Hemidog]

That's funny right there!

[mopar73]

I just about blew beer out my nose