you know hlpag is starting a restoration service......

[jaak]

You know I seen a link to hlpags site, now they are doing resto service, wtf this is what they should say on their site.......

                             ****HLPAG AUTO GROUP RESTORATION SERIVICE*****
We here at Hlpag are pleased to announce our restoration service, from bumper to bumper!!!!!

Engine/drivetrain- All engine and transmission assemblies are carefully selected from our salvage yard, guaranteed to have under 300k miles!!
 
Body- Careful attention is given to you classic chargers body. All dents will be filled with bondo, all rust holes will be filled with only the finest wire mesh/ steel wool available, and any panels (ie floor, trunks, quarters) will only be replaced with DOT approved highway signs, and perfectly 'pop' riveted into place.

Paint-Only the best paint is used in our restoration, ACME acrylic enamel in you choice or blue, black, orange, red, green, yellow
Interior- we use the 6-foot rolls of speaker box carpet (like you get at auto zone) If its good enough for speakers its good enough for you classic, seats are donated from 80-90's fwd vehicles and covered in sheep skin the color of your choice black, tan or grey.

Wheels and Tires- wheel choices are 1 steel wheel with hubcaps (note 1 to 3 may be different than others) or if you want a General Lee conversion we offer correct 10 spoke jeep cherokee wheels. Our tires come from the local tire stores used tire bin, we select 4 nice tires and have the white walls and/or letters turned in side so most folks cannot tell they are different brands.

Detail- We also use and sell our line of correct paints 1. Dollar Store Silver (great for grille, wheels, rusty trim) 2. dollar store Flat Black (used on grills, wheels, tailpanel, under carriage, doorpanels, console, engine compartment- anywhere!!!) 3. Floresent Orange marker paint (for engines)

So nows the time to get on that Father/Son project prices starting a 9999.99

contact us at www.bendoverandpullyourpantsdownandtakethisfucking.com

[MoparMotel]

LMAO!!!!

[ChargerSG]

Uhh...

[jaak]

seriously they are offering resto services, whats the world coming to

[CB]

Ihave seen one of their 'restorerd' cars (General Lee - YIIHAAA- kinda car)

It makes me sick!!!

[Spartan]

I read that last week too.   Lets try a couple more advertising slogans:

Carpet-We get the best deals in the market.   Cover your classic auto's floor with Pontiac Silverdome astroturf.   Since it was from the Lions, it was barely used and we could secure the best deal possible.   Offering 3 colors, green, honalulu blue, and silver. Blue and silver going fast.   We call it the demolition special.

Transmission service-We offer the best tranny resto in the midwest, using the finest sawdust in the country.   We offer a 3 mile warrenty for the small price of $10,000

Sand blasting- We care about the environment here and we recycle when ever possible.   For the bargan basement price of $7,000 we will park your heap...um classic along the coast of lake Michigan and let the wind sandblast your car.   Its an all natural process and don't worry about going too deap, the sand will bounce off once its hit bondo.

Paint-We use only the finest in exterior latex.   Sears Weatherbeater is our house brand.   We have 35 minutes of painting experience, most in the industry, and use only the finest brushes in the City of Chicago.  We are an approved painting source by the Earl Shieb better brush painting association and have carpal-tonnel insurance.

Missing a powerplant?   no problem, we have plenty of the hard to find mopar classic engine, the 351 Cleveland!! If you're on a budget, we offer the economical briggs and straton 4 cycle.   Only 50 were ever made for automobiles.  In our engine rebuilds, we strive for finding alternative fuel sources, thats why we restore all engines so they burn 10W30 more then the average, run of the mill hack-shops.  Remember, follow the blue smoke to the resto leader!

We are the only dealer who will certify our vehicles 100% magnetically immune, just don't hit too many potholes.

Come on down, we are open from 10pm to 3am. And if you forget your flashlight, borrow one of ours at no cost!

Your complete General Lee headquarters! Always remember, orange paint can save you money on uneccessary body work.
A subsidiary of the Bondo Corporation........

[jaak]

   magnetically immune...thats great

[Silver R/T]

ha ha classic

[1970 FE5 RR]

Hlpag

[dkn1997]

On a very serious note, we all need to post up on every chat room we can think of to spread the word about this situation.  They have to be stopped!! 

I already email some of the bidders on their auctions with links to this site.  They have to be the worst, most dishonest business people I have ever seen .

I actually saw the title and the first few posts and totally thought it was a joke till I hit that link......makes me very angry that they are passing themselves off as a restoration shop.

[Troy]

There's an entire article that was posted on the GL site. Anyone know that Hans teaches autobody at the VoTech school there? I'll see if I can dig it up. On the bright side, it list the full names of the employees...

Troy

[Charger Aficionado]

  There was a ad on that autotrader site that had a green '69 that said it was "fully restored" but I could see it had absolutley no door panels at all, and no seats...  I really thought:  They are using that term Verrrry loosely... 

[Brock Samson]

 all you'ze guys attempts at a Halpag resto Ad. are gramaticly way too advanced...

it would go more like this...

  Ahem...

Here's the Car you have been waiting for your entire live! Your own geuine General Lee!!!! YEEEE HAWWWW!!!..
Here it is ladies and germs your very own authenic star of the T.V. show...

WHOOOOO WHEEEEEEEEE! HERE IT IS FOLKS THE EASIEST GENERAL LEE PROJECT CAR YOU WILL FIND! THIS BABY IS A REAL BIG BLOCK CAR FROM THE FACTORY! OHHHH YEAH AS IF 290 PONIES WEREN'T ENOUGH THE ORIGINAL OWNER WAS A STEP ABOVE WITH 330 THOROUGHBRED AMERICAN MUSCLE PONIES PUMPIN OUT OF THAT BIG BLOCK 383! THIS BAD BOY WAS A GORGEOUS GREEN CAR WITH A BLACK INTERIOR AND NOT ONLY WAS A SWEET LOOKING MUSCLE CAR IT LIVED UP TO ITS TITLE! NOW IT IS BEFORE YOU WITH A NEW AND IMPROVED LOOK! THIS BABY IS ALMOST READY TO BE A REAL 69 GENERAL LEE JUST NEEDING YOUR WRENCH TIME! IT HAS 69 GRILL AND FENDERS AND GOES WITH A 69 CHARGER TAIL PANEL THAT IS IN DECENT SHAPE WITH A LITTLE WORK WOULD BE JUST RIGHT TO COMPLETE THAT AWESOME ONE AOF A KIND LOOK THAT ONLY THE LEE'S HAVE! THE ORIGINAL MOTOR AND TRANNY ARE LONG GONE BUT ARE YOU THINKIN WHAT WE ARE THINKIN! THAT'S RIGHT THAT AWESOME BIG BLOCK DRIVE TRAIN YOU GOT IN YOUR GARAGE WOULD BE RIGHT AT HOME IN THIS BAD BOY! EVEN MORE THAN THAT IF YOU HAVE A 426, 472, OR THE MONSTER 528 HEMI WELL HECK THAT WOULD BE MUCH NICER! THE ORIGINAL INTERIOR IS GONE BUT IT HAS SOME WORKABLE BLACK BUCKETS WITH THE MATCHING BACK SEAT TO GET IT GOING! THE CENTER TRUNK PAN NEEDS SOME PATCH WORK BUT THAT IS TYPICAL! THE FLOORS HAVE HAD SOME PATCH PANELS DONE AND LOOK DECENT! THE FRAME IS ROCK SOLID AND THAT IS THEE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF BUILDING YOUR DREAM CAR UPON! THE ENGINE BAY IS PRETTY CLEAN AND WOULD BE AWESOME WITH YOUR DRIVE TRAIN SITTING IN THERE! THE FRONT BUMPER AND LOWER VALENCE ARE MISSING! WE DO HAVE DIRT CHEAP DELIVERY RIGHT TO YOUR DOORSTEP!

$6,999
  

verbatim from their site..   

well just heck!..

[Brock Samson]

I'll copy their garage, garbage, verbage but i wont link to the snake oil salesmen... shysters.. 

[Spartan]

What we need is a HLPAG translator, what they say to what they really mean translation.

[Brock Samson]

 *  "WE DO HAVE DIRT CHEAP DELIVERY RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR STEP!"


















*
(disclaimer) 

[Spartan]

This is the disclaimer  *All deliveries under the cover of darkness

[cudaken]

 Hee, Hee. I saw this posting and I thought you guys where talking about me in the paint and body section.

                         Cuda Ken

[bull]

I like this: THE FRONT BUMPER AND LOWER VALENCE ARE MISSING!

They seem so happy and excited about the fact that parts are missing.

[41husk]

Yep they should start with the cars they sell!