Valley of tears

[captnsim]

A tow-truck driver in Death Valley sees something on the side of the road. He pulls over and finds a man hog-tied with tape on his mouth.
When the driver rips off the tape, the man sputters, "I picked up a hitchhiker, and he beat me up, stole my charger, and kidnapped my wife!"
The truck driver calmly starts to unbuckle his belt and whispers, "Well buddy, I guess this just ain't your lucky day."

An elephant says to a camel, "Wow, it sure is funny that you have tits on your back."
The camel laughs and says, "It's even funnier that someone with a dick on his face would say that!"

Two drunks are walking down the railroad tracks when the first says to the other, "Wow, this is the longest set of stairs I've ever seen in my life."
The other drunk replies, " It ain't the stairs that's killing me...it's this low fricking handrail!"

A man and wife are in bed when the wife asks, "Do you think we could renew our vows for our 25th anniversary?"
"Sure," says the man.
The wife smiles and says, "It'll be just like the first time."
"Not exactly," says the man. "This time I'll be on the edge of the bed crying and saying 'No, it's just to big!"

Q: Whats the definition of embarrassment?
A: Running into the wall with a erection and breaking your nose first.

     

[CB]

A tow-truck driver in Death Valley sees something on the side of the road. He pulls over and finds a man hog-tied with tape on his mouth.
When the driver rips off the tape, the man sputters, "I picked up a hitchhiker, and he beat me up, stole my charger, and kidnapped my wife!"
The truck driver calmty starts to unbuckle his belt and whispers, "Well buddy, I guess this just ain't your lucky day."