A True Friend!!!! None of that Sissy Crap

[Spike]

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass....it's learning to dance in the rain.



'True Friendship'


   Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? 
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.


> 1.   When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2.   When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3.   When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4.   When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get and make you laugh so you know that you can get through it.

5.   When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.

6.   When you  are confused -- I will use little words.

7.   When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are F@$%ing well again. I don't want whatever you have. I will bring you chicken noodle    soup though.

8.   When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass then help you up.

9.   This is my oath ..... I pledge it to the end

'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth. 


Remember: A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to
bring a shovel...