Was a sad and rough weekend for my family

[resq302]

It was a really tough weekend for my family.  My wife on Thursday had some woman issues and is also 11 weeks pregnant with our second child.  She called her doctor and was able to get an appointment for early friday morning.  I was coming off of working a 12 hr night shift at my police job and at my parents house doing some things getting ready to do some work on the chally over the weekend when I got the call...... my wife called and said that her dr. sent her to another specialty ultra sound doctor cause they didn't hear a heartbeat for the baby.  I immediatly dropped what I was doing and went over to where the specialty ultrasound place was to meet up with my wife who was a pretty shaken up by the premilnary news.  The specialty place took my wife right in and did the procedure on her and then after she got dressed, showed us to a consultation room (never a good sign).  They had my wifes dr. call us and talked to my wife with us in the private office.  I knew the news wasnt good just from how the nurse seemed to be acting.  The test confirmed that my wife had a miscarry.  Mind you my wife had no signs at all of a miscarry and it basically just came out from no where.  The doctor wanted my wife to have a DNC ( I think thats what it was called) to remove everything and "clean her up inside".  That procedure was done at a local hospital with my wifes dr performing the procedure.  It took only about 20 mins and she was out of surgery.  My wife is doing pretty good and our families have been pretty supportive but it is still an emotional and mental drain as to why and how this could have happened?  Lots of things start going through your mind and you start to question a lot of things that normally you wouldn't, such as religion, life itself, etc.  Fortuntely, my wife and I have been there for each other and it is making the grieving process go a little easier but when you are not doing anything and just sitting there or its late at night and you are laying in bed, it starts to get the best of you.

Anyway, I feel like this board is an extended part of my family as I have gotten to know a lot of people on here, which is why I felt compelled to start this thread.  Maybe it is part of the grieving process or not, I don't know.  I just know that it makes me feel better expressing myself this way.   I know that we are not the only parents who have gone through this as we are lucky to have a 20 month old daughter who also cheers us up just seeing her face in this time of darkness.  I know as time passes things will get back to normal and time heals all things.  Hoever, the scar of a memory will always be there and we wanted to have a boy and a girl.

Sorry if I have gotten eveyrone else here who read this a little sad and depressed too.  All I can really say right now is RIP baby Kapral.   You're in a much better place now even though I would have rather had you around down here with your mommy and daddy.

[Charger-Bodie]

Sorry to hear about this for you and you're family Brian. We went through a very similar situation about a year and a half ago.

Hang in there.

[69charger2002]

man we're here for you. had the same thing happen to us a few years ago. my wife still thinks about it now and then. about a year later she got pregnant again and we have a beautiful 8 month old girl.. i think she was 4 months along before when it happened.. it is kinda depressing. but don't question religion. God has everything hapen for a reason, though a lot of times we don't understand. keep the faith bro, and we'll keep your family in our prayers, i know my family will
trav

[69bronzeT5]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I truly hope things get better.

Like Brian said, hang in there.

[472 R/T SE]

If it's any consolation we lost 4 in 8 years of trying.  The last one they did tests on and it was my boy.  We started trying right after my little angel was born and had no luck and then I got hurt.  With us everyone was worried about my wife, well Daddy-O suffers just as much.  Counseling suggested planting trees to take place of the kids so I have 4 special trees in the back yard.

There was something wrong and it's God's way of avoiding anymore suffering.  Hang in there man, as much as I hate the saying, this shit happens for a reason.  It's actually quite common.  Regardless, sorry man.

[BMOTOXSTAR]

You and your family are in my prayers man.

[Dans 68]

My prayers are with you and your wife. 

Dan

[skip68]

    So sorry to hear that.     Planting a tree is a great idea.       You guy's take care and don't let this come between you.

[The70RT]

Sorry to hear that. All I can say is hang in there man and my god bless.

[dkn1997]

We went though 2 of them.  once before our first child, and once before the second child.  Don't lose faith, brother.   we came out on the other end with 2 beautiful kids.

[mikesbbody]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you! hang in there

[TeeWJay426]

Sorry to hear this, Brian. You and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers- hang in there and be there for each other, and your beautiful little girl!

[Just 6T9 CHGR]

Sorry to hear it Brian.  I personally cant say that it has happened to me but it has happened to both my wife's sisters.  Take care of your wife.

[41husk]

All our thoughts and prayers are with you, keep your head up.

[Nacho-RT74]

Sorry to hear that!!! at least she will be fine and if wished you can bring to the world a new life anytime that will be loved like TWO childs!!!


good luck and kep the heads up!!!!

[Mike DC]

Sorry to hear it happened. 


Try to keep in mind that it's a natural thing.  They just don't all go to term. 

 

[resq302]

A huge thanks for everyone who chimed in with their thoughts and prayers.  I am actually off of work today as I took a personal day to just be there for my wife.  I took our daughter to daycare so my wife would not have to be around other younger kids so soon to try and keep her mind off of it.  It seems to be better when you are busy and the mind does not have a chance to think about things and just trying to be cheerful and positive sometimes does not seem to cut it.  It is good to know that there are good chances that we will be able to have our second child eventually after seeing everyone elses experiences who have been through the same thing.  Its just been a lot to bear as we just bought a house and moved in mid July, just got a 2 day suspension from my police job (load of BS but thats a different story), and now this.

Thank you again for everyones support as it does make the healing process go smoother.

[PocketThunder]

Hang in there brother...   a late night ride in the Charger might help relieve some stress.   

[Shakey]

Best wishes Brian - be strong for your Wife, even thought it may be extremely difficult right now!

[Arthu®]

I missed this thread, very sorry to hear that Brian. I can't even imagine how though this has to be on you and your wife. Hang in there.

Arthur

[68charger383]

man we're here for you. had the same thing happen to us a few years ago. my wife still thinks about it now and then. about a year later she got pregnant again and we have a beautiful 8 month old girl.. i think she was 4 months along before when it happened.. it is kinda depressing. but don't question religion. God has everything hapen for a reason, though a lot of times we don't understand. keep the faith bro, and we'll keep your family in our prayers, i know my family will
trav

Sorry to hear the news. We had a similar experience as Trav. We got pregnant about 8 months later and my wife went full term without any problems. I know my wife had some issues after the experience and extra worries when she got pregnant again. Keep your head up.

[chargerboy69]

Sorry to hear that. It is a tough thing to go through. My wife and I just went through it a couple months ago ourselves.

[Chris G.]

Very sorry to hear this Brain. Your family is very strong, so I know you will pull through this. Like others said, be strong for your wife even though I am sure it's hurting you just as much inside.

Hopefullly I'll get to see you before years end.

[RJS]

Brian, very sorry to hear this news. My wife and I were never able to have kids but have been thru all the different aspects to try and have them. On one side of the coin I don't know your pain but on the other boy do I!!!  In my opinion the best thing you can do is as much as possible with your wife and baby daughter!!!  Also hopefully I can get a smile out of you, have a sno-cone!!!  Ron

[gtx6970]

Brian,
I can't possibily know how it feels. Although both my girls were born prematurely , they are healthy. I do offer my thoughts and prayers.
I always look at something like this as Gods way of saying ,this one's special I'll keep  her with me.

a snowcone would be good though 

[pettyfan43]

Hey man, I have been there twice, Hang in and support your wife all you can, she may very well go through some of the "It's my fault" issues. Her outlook may be a little bleak.

DON'T let people tell you "maybe it's for the best." If I ever hear that again I may hit whoever says it. Some people can be stupid and insensitive, and never know they are doing it.

Just help her as best as you're able. TAKE TIME to get through it and DON'T rush to try again.

If I can help EMAIL me, it's in my data page.

God bless both of you and if I can help, yell.

[Lowprofile]

Sorry to hear of your Familys loss bro. You are all in my prayers. 

[Silver R/T]

Sorry to hear about your loss, may God hold your family in His arms at this hard time.

[no318]

My prayers and thoughts, too.

[RD]

so sorry to hear of your loss... here are some passages that i believe may help with comfort.

Ecclesiastes 3

Genesis 20:17

Hebrews 2:13

[resq302]

Ron / Bill,

Actually, its kinda funny that you mention the snow cones..... literally, we ran out of ice cream.  (I guess its the choice food of people who are mourning or depressed)  So the only other thing left in the house, instead of running out to the local food store, was ice and the snow cone maker.  The last count I have checked on my syrup, I think I am up to about 16 or 18 different flavors now.

UPDATE - Yup, the snow cones sure hit the spot.  Especially with some rum mixed in with some of the flavors.

[NHCharger]

Brian, very sorry for you and your wife. My wife miscarried at 10 or 11 weeks the first time she was pregnant. We now have two healthy boys, 22 and 18.
As Trav said, everything happens for a reason, but many times it doesn't make sense.
Take a little time to get over this before trying again, but tell your wife. What you need to do is practice ,practice ,practice.

[resq302]

Well, I am back at work today.  Figured it might help to get back into the swing of things at my police job, ya know, taking my mind off of everything that happened.  Wouldn't ya know, about a half hour ago, I answered the 911 phone and had a 2 yr old child who was not breathing.  Lets just say that I had a hell of a time keeping my composure on my end of the phone as it brought back all the bad memories from this weekend at the hospital and doctors office.    I called my Sgt. in after the call and asked him if I could take some time off again today with everything that happened.  The earliest that I can go home today will be at 1 pm.   Hopefully, nothing else will happen like that for the rest of the day.

[The70RT]

Well, I am back at work today.  Figured it might help to get back into the swing of things at my police job, ya know, taking my mind off of everything that happened.  Wouldn't ya know, about a half hour ago, I answered the 911 phone and had a 2 yr old child who was not breathing.  Lets just say that I had a hell of a time keeping my composure on my end of the phone as it brought back all the bad memories from this weekend at the hospital and doctors office.    I called my Sgt. in after the call and asked him if I could take some time off again today with everything that happened.  The earliest that I can go home today will be at 1 pm.   Hopefully, nothing else will happen like that for the rest of the day.

Hang in there buddy.......were all pulling for things to get better far ya.

[firefighter3931]

Brian, sorry to hear this terrible news. 

Take some time off if you need it.....



Ron

[resq302]

Brian, sorry to hear this terrible news. 

Take some time off if you need it.....



Ron

Ron,

I wish I had the time to take off.  Most of it I burned up when we closed on our house and making the repairs and such till we could move in.  If I had the time, I would have used a bunch of it up right now.

[moparjohn]

Brian, I am deeply saddened to hear this news.  You were so exceited when you told me at the show.  Tell Jen how sorry I am and I hope the time of sadness passes so you can again look to the future. John

[chargermick]

Brian, my wife and I went through the same thing a few years ago, she was 4 months along. It sure hurts like hell for a while. My eyes are tearing up right now. But, after a few years and another little girl, the hurt isn't as bad. Hang in there, you will be in our prayers.

[WingCharger]

Were all there for you man! Your in my prayers.

[Charger_Fan]

While my Wife & I haven't personally been through this, I can certainly empathise. I hope this emotional wound will heal quickly for both of you, I wish you both the best. Hang in there.

[hemi68charger]

Hey Brian..
God bless you and your wife............ You're right, your child is in a better place..  My heart weeps for you that you didn't get to enjoy Kapral here in this world.



Troy