Sayings that stick with you

[400/6/PAC]

She's so fine, I bet She could suck start a Harley.

[Ponch ®]

"Loving a whore is curse. Finding a whore is a blessing"

[Old Moparz]

"Just when you think you're winning the rat race, along comes faster rats."

"It's so cold I saw a dog stuck to a fire hydrant."

"Bikers are so horny that even the crack of dawn ain't safe."

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone."

"If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all."

[MichaelRW]

The lights are on but nobody's home.

The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

Shit the bed Leroy.

Slippery than snot on a glass door knob.

He's like a fart in a skillet.

[The70RT]

You can't get blood out of a turnip
It's not who you know it's who you blow
She's so ugly you have to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her
To hot to fish fuck or fight

[1BAD68]

my granpa used to say this (RIP)
I think he was referring to being drunk but have no idea what it means
"pissed up to the nine hole"
?

[Brock Samson]

you can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig. 

[Dans 68]

you can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig. 

Um, what do you mean by that?    "The" Barry quote 'bout Miss Sarah???  Getting awfully close to being somewhat political... 

Dan

[PocketThunder]

you can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig. 

You can wrap a dead fish in paper with Change written on it.  Years later you still have a dead fish.   

[41husk]

here are a couple non political, Stop acting stupid, even if your not acting
                                           If your tardy more than once your Retardy
                                           Eatin aint cheatin
                                           She can't cut me off if she don't know were I'm gettin it
                                           IF- if my momma had a dick would she be my daddy

[Charger74]

Saying we used in high school when we had cars and somebody wanted a ride, "Gas, Grass or a$$, nobody rides for free". 

[craigandlynda]

when someone sez, " whadd'ya know, fur sure"...


reply:   "A Crab's ass is watertight"

[41husk]

when someone sez, " whadd'ya know, fur sure"...


reply: "A Crab's ass is watertight"

or you could say "I don't know anything and I can prove it"

[Lowprofile]

"Don't shit in my face and tell me its Snowing out"

[mikepmcs]

Ok, here we go.  As most know, I live in Maine and I promise stuff is said here that no one will ever hear in the real world.  So, here is my offering for the day.(some aren't from Maine in this latest list)

Here's some not from hea'
So hard a cat couldn't scratch it
Harder than Chinese Arithmetic
Happy as a Kitty Cat in a bowl of Ice Cream(my tech rep(RIP) used to say this all the time when I was stationed at Andrews AFB((vp-68, navy side))
Whiter than rice on a paper plate in a snow storm
Busier than a one armed paper hanger
Busier than a one legged man in an a$$ kickin' contest
Sticks out like a boner in sweat pants

Oh what the heck Maine or not, here are the rest...

Tougher than a boiled owl
She's uglier than 17 miles of bad road staring you straight in the face
Snow's a$$hole deep on a 7 foot indian
Busier than a 3 legged cat covered in crap
Right out straight (when someone asks you what's going on)
What a looozah' (said just like that)
Wicked good
uhh..yah  (in your best NE brogue)
Gotta go through Bah' Harbah'  (in ref to the can't get there from here)
Don't drop your wallet in Hallowell, if you do kick it to Gardiner (figure it out)
Hold on Ethel, I'm headin' for the Rhubarb (you are going off the road)
There's a spinnah' or that little spinnah' or she's a spinnah'  (good lookin' girl)
She's a hammah" (might be the same good lookin' girl)
Carpenter's dream, flat as a board and never been nailed
Son of a hooah'
Tighter than a boar's a$$ at fly time
Nummah' than a chicken
Nummah' than a hake
Louder than 2 skeletons f****n on a tin roof in a hail storm
Slicker than snot on a doorknob
Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra
That boy could break a steel wedge..or that boy could break an anvil
Happier than a pig in s**t
Hotter than the hinges of hell
Hotter than a half f'd fox in a forest fire
Colder than a well diggers a$$ in the klondike
F*** me runnin' (very popular here)
How's that grab you? Like a man with no arms?
Not the brightest light in the harbor
Not the sharpest tool in the shed
You're about as sharp as a bowling ball(my dad used to say this one to me all the time)

Well there you go.  I'm sure i'll have more in the next few days as I got the boys wheels a turnin' now.

v/r
Mike

[41husk]

i like " I gotta drop the kids off at the pool"  For taking a crap

[tan top]

never argue with a idiot     as you will be made to look the bigger one 

[John_Kunkel]

"Nervous as a whore in church"

"Tighter than a bull's ass at fly time"

"She's so ugly she'd chase a buzzard off a gut wagon"

"Drier than a popcorn fart"

"Hotter than the hinges of Hell"

"Slower than molasses in January"

[WingCharger]

Git-R-Dun!!

[The70RT]

Sweating like a you know what on election day 

[dkn1997]

Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it.

[bakerhillpins]

Waking up in my buds trashed dorm room after along night back in the college days - I'm so hungry I could eat the asshole out of  a skunk.  Now that's hungry!

He's so stupid he couldn't dump the water out of a shoe if the instructions were written on the heel.
Liquor? I don't even know her?!



This is great. 

[Tilar]

Good enough for the girls I go with - Referring to something being finished to a point that it will just function.

[General_01]

"You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn"-My Dad  said this to me when I would make an errant pitch to him.
"About as useless as tits on a boar"-Usually said this to me if I wasn't doing something right
"You'd forget your head if it wasn't attatched"
"All mouth, no brain"


Those are a few that I remember at the moment.

[BigRed66]

Here's a couple pearls from my upbringing...

Me: "Dad, I wish I had (____________________________)"
Dad: "Son, wish in one hand and shit in the other; see which fills up first"


"Man, it's rainin' harder than a double-cunted cow pissin' on a flat rock!"

"It's rainin' like pourin' piss out of a boot!"

"If at first ya don't succeed, keep on suckin' til ya do suck seed"

Damn....thanks, Dad...no wonder I'm screwed up....