It's time once again for the "Whose Got the Coolest Tagline" contest.

[bull]

This where we share our witty taglines and then decide whose is the most entertaining. I'll put mine up first although I know it's not the best. In fact it's a variation of a semi-popular pro-gun quote that's been floating around for a while so I can only take credit for the personalization of it: "Guns kill people? Right. And pencils misspell, cars drive drunk and spoons cause obesity."

I'm rather fond of one of our moderators former taglines, "My Charger is a hybrid; it's burns gas and rubber" by "1hot68." Don't know why he got rid of it but I liked it. Anyway, have at it.

[Troy]

Here's some that I use from time to time...

"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair." --Mostly Harmless

"But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." --Carl Sagan

"The world is filled with willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them." --Robert Frost

"A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice." --Bill Cosby

"Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't." --Pete Seeger

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." --Katharine Hepburn

"God give me the strength to pursue the truth, And spare me the company of those who have found it."

I swiped this from 6pkrunner: "Sure your quarter mile ETs are wicked, but the thing won't push water downhill at anything less that 3500 rpm."

Troy

[mikepmcs]

Not my tag line but I used to have this sticker on my beater tercel.

"I'm looking for the perfect woman, a nymphomaniac who owns a liquor store"

[kab69440]

I got several PMs and e-mails over mine, and another member blatantly plagiarized it. I'd say it is/was pretty popular.

[Orange_Crush]

I got several PMs and e-mails over mine, and another member blatantly plagiarized it. I'd say it is/was pretty popular.

I'm flattered.  Don't ever expect me to say anything witty again...I'm a one-trick pony.

[Troy]

I found my other list - some are geeky and may not make sense or be humorous to everyone...

"Argue with an idiot and he'll drag you down to his level, then beat you with experience."

"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

"The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action."

"An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys."

"If you can keep your head when all about you others are losing theirs, maybe you just don't understand the situation."

"Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it."

"Make it sufficiently difficult for people to do something, and most people will stop doing it."

"Anything that happens enough times to irritate you will happen at least once more."

"It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry."

"Never do anything you wouldn't be caught be dead doing."

"If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost."

"People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made."

"Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of conservation of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be creamed?"

"If it looks easy, it's tough. If it looks tough, it's damn near impossible."

"If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damned near zero."

"It's easy to criticize paranoid people, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too."

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."

"Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out."

"Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself."

"If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization."

"Wisdom is considered a sign of weakness by the powerful because a wise man can lead without power but only a powerful man can lead without wisdom."

"Those who don't study the past will repeat its errors. Those who do study it will find OTHER ways to err."

"If a thing cannot be fitted into something smaller than itself, some dope will do it."

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." --Douglas Adams

"Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool"

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

"If I knew half as much as I have had the opportunity to learn, I would be a genius."

"At first glance you appear to be an intelligent creature, but then you open your mouth and the illusion is shattered."

"When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."

"I hope you learn humility by being humiliated and that you learn honesty by being cheated." --Paul Harvey

Troy

[Goodz]

I liked all of these so far.  I need to think of a few of my faves.

[PocketThunder]

When we are building something and the project isnt turing out as planned i like to throw out " This is working as well as a monkey humping a football"  My freinds like to use the tag line " its getting all kitty-wamp-us on us".

[Ponch ®]

"Blow jobs are like snowflakes. No two are exactly alike" - Sam Kinison

"I spent most of my money cars, women, and booze. The rest I squandered" - George Best.

[Old Moparz]

One of my favorites was one I had read on Moparts years ago.   

"When my time comes to pass, I want to go quietly in my sleep like my Grandfather did. Not kicking & screaming like the passengers in his car."

[Goodz]

"There's nothing worse than trying to do something they say can't be done... and finding out they're right."

[bull]

I like many of the "demotivators" found on www.despair.com such as:

Achievement - You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.
Beauty - If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.
Blame - The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
Challenges - I expected times like this but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.
Cluelessness - There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.
Conformity - When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
Consistency - It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup.
Consulting - If you're not a part of the solution there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
Defeat - For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.
Demotivation - Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.
Discovery - A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.
Doubt - In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.
Dysfunction - The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.
Flattery - If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.
Futility - You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.
Give Up - At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.
Incompetence - When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.
Indifference - It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
Individuality - Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
Ineptitude - If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.
Irresponsibility - No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.
Limitations - Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.
Losing - If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
Mediocrity - It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.
Mistakes - It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
Nepotism - We promote family values here - almost as often as we promote family members.
Overconfidence - Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.
Planning - Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.
Procrastination - Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
Quality - The race for quality has no finish line so technically, it's more like a death march.
Risks - If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.
Strife - As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems.
Stupidity - Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.
Teamwork - A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.
Tradition - Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.
Worth - Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.

[nh_mopar_fan]

I want an Emo lawn, so it'll cut itself.

Look up Emo if you don't get it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo

[Goodz]

I want an Emo lawn, so it'll cut itself.

Look up Emo if you don't get it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo

That's awesome!  LOL

[my73charger]

Seen in a local Breast Cancer Awareness 5K Run, a t-shirt, "Save Our Hooters!"

[RD]

people throughout history have never changed or evolved, its their technological evolutions that make them different from one another.

light travels faster than sound, and you looked pretty bright until you spoke.

ass, gas, or grass.. nobody rides for free (80's circa bumpersticker).

[RallyeMike]

Whoever has "It's not the tires screaming, it's the asphalt."    Love that one.

68ChargerWife's isnt witty but cool in another way. It takes guts to post that kind of info. I'm sure it probably helps a lot of other people cope who are in similar situations. It makes you stop and think about important things.

[68chrgrwife]

ralleymike...thanks for the compliment.....

I have no real words of wisdom...I stole these from the Navy SEALS

The more you sweat in Peace the less you bleed in War.

The only easy day was yesterday.  (and that should be my new mantra!)

[bull]

The more you sweat in Peace the less you bleed in War.

That's a good one.

[68chrgrwife]

I seriously love that one.....I used to use it allllllll the time.

[Goodz]

"If there are two ways to interpret something I said, and one of them offends you, I meant the other one."

I love that!

[nh_mopar_fan]

I've got a t-shirt that says:

"Not a Gynecologist, but i'll take a look"

[471_Magnum]

"If you regularly encounter more than half a dozen assholes a day, you might want to start taking a look at yourself."

[69bronzeT5]

All I have is pictures in mine and an AWESOME quote.

"You don't burn out from going too fast. You burn out from going too slow and getting bored--Cliff Burton from Metallica"

[68RT4ME]

 Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"